I am not going to lay blame at anyone else's feet. Mistakes were made and lessons learned. Chief among them, don't let emotions play any part in trading, be it fiat or crypto.
I used to be something of a whale in a community here. That, like my youth, is just a blur in the rearview mirror now. It would be easy to wallow in self pity and the loss of things, like my aforementioned youth.
I would be here everyday, making posts and curating other posts. I loved delegating (at the time) steem power to new people and now I do it with Hive Power. I used to send CTP to new people on the blockchain as well. I fully believe in pay it forward. Someone helped me, who am I to not help others? That would be wrong imnsho(not so humble opinion). This is where I am currently.
My immediate goal is to get that ctpm back up to 100 and beyond. I believe that is a very achievable goal. I also want to get that ctp nummber to 500 and then 1k. Baby steps.
I would do it quicker but, over the past years, I have had to overcome a lot pf physical as well as mental issues. None were small nor were they insurmountable. As is evidenced by my standing err sitting here and posting this. I know, I know, mental issues are only supposes to be discussed in dark rooms in hushed tones. I say nerts to that.
I hope this is the first post in a very long line.
On a somewhat related note:
I was gone from 
https://hive-engine.com/?p=market&t=COM token as well as
https://hive-engine.com/?p=market&t=LIST and their own miner which has now been overhauled to pay out in several tokens, including ctp tokens.
So, my advice, keep stacking, keep hodling and keep writing. It's very hard to get the ball rolling again once you lose momentum.
#iamalive
just my 2 cents YMMV
Craig