I can’t focus
I don’t know about you, but I’m having trouble focusing lately.
Enter into the tunnel of darkness with me for a moment.
First link - Healthline.com (http://www.healthline.com/symptom/unable-to-concentrate)
Usually this is reputable, and I can get a fair bit of basic information that will help with my understanding of simple medical conditions.
EXCEPT
It was a link to a page with 25 possible causes for my inability to focus complete with 3 flashing advertisements for Xiaflex.
Each possible cause for my inability to focus was a link to a different page.
Listed (in order): ADHD, AIDS, Concussion, Lead Poisoning, Acute Stress Disorder, ...
If anything this simply adds to my inability to focus as I potentially click on one of these ‘helpful’ links.
End of tunnel of darkness.
About a 2 months ago I decided to stop checking email before taking practice in the AM. I never planned on answering any of the emails before practice but I noticed how these emails distracted me during my asana practice. Not often but 3 times I remember the distraction carried over into teaching and wasn’t fair to the students.
But there was FaceBook. I could spend my coffee time checking FaceBook. Scrolling, scrolling, endless scrolling. Democrats ‘cry wolf’ again, humans are amazing, kittens, what color am I? Dribble dribble dribble.
Maybe I need some XaiFlex?
So I stopped FaceBook, but there was Instagram . . .
My problem isn’t ADHD, or AIDS. (or I don’t think it’s AIDS) My problem is, not being in THIS moment.
I’m supposed to be practicing awareness, contentment, presence, and instead I’m focusing on everything pulling me away from it. Instead of focusing on the center, breathing, and this moment, this moment, writing this word . . .
I’m pressing the home button on my phone, making a cup of tea, switching screens to answer a . . .
I’m supposed to be teaching awareness, yet I feel like a fraud. How can I teach about focusing when I realize that the last time I read a book was a month ago. The last time I sat and focused on my breathing was this AM, and I rushed through that because students were coming into practice.
Right now I’m going to read a book.
What are you doing that helps you focus?
