Today was a slower day than usual and it seems with the values going south the whole system is slowing down. It is a completely normal thing, every time that happens it is pretty much the same thing. It is not any better in other places.
I just realized that I have 5 months of my domain paid and I am not thinking to renew it, because it is not necessary.
In fact, today was one of those days - you know - when you wake up all clear and see that you wanna hide in some shit hole and never crawl out. Just to mind your own business and take all things easy and for yourself.
Unlike all the others happy go lucky chips in here, I have my coins permanently staked, I am fighting that thought every day; every morning when I get up I believe that I can make it, that I have to do something. And every day on a constant level I fight that sobering thought that I am futile. I don't have bad days or good days. Somehow it all melts down into one the same pot and I wonder, how people can constantly gearing up The Plans. The Big Thing...
Your punch line is that you will always try, you will never stop hoping, you will believe, you will keep yourself all shelled in faith. And you will do all the stupid things because of it.
And then when I go to the bed, late at night, I feel that maybe tomorrow I won't be here anymore. That my time is draining minute by minute and that my days are slowly one by one closing down on me right to the end.
I don't know how much I will last, no human knows that, but that constant battle within and that realization that one of these days the tomorrow will not come for me is the only thing that keeps me ticking.
Nobody dies, we are just kept in the eternal oblivion.
