After having been moved by the loss of someone whom I did not even know, but who seemed like such a bright light from what I have read about her on Steemit, I wanted to continue with the theme of self-love.
I did not always love myself. In fact, I am certain there was a lot of self-loathing going on in my life until I was around 37 years old. I have engaged in activites that do not scream self-love: anorexia, excessive drinking, meaningless sex, disempowering relationships, negative and even hateful self-talk, self-sacrificing and compromising of my happiness to please others, looking for love and meaning outside of myself.
I literally had to tear down the false life I had built around the false persona I had created for myself. I had a big, gaping hole inside of myself when I first moved down to Tennessee from Chicago in June 2010. The only "person" who knew the real me was my cat, Mickey. I did not even know the real Me anymore.
I spent years like Humpty Dumpty, and they were some of the hardest but most rewarding years of my life. I wrote two books during the first years of my transformation: Finding My Soul and Choosing Love. But what I realized during this time was how I had been living my life backwards: I was putting others and the world before myself. That will never work and only leads to misery.
Your most important relationship should be with yourself. If you don't take the time to know yourself, to forgive yourself, to love and accept yourself just as you are, you are NEVER going to be happy or fulfilled. No one and nothing OUTSIDE of you will ever fill that hole you feel inside. No relationship, job, possession, or amount of money will ever be enough.
People spend so much time looking for soul mates and twin flames, when the person you are looking for to complete you has always been by your side: YOU! You are what you have been looking for your whole life: the real you, the you that was buried under bullshit norms, conditions, programs, and misunderstanding. The you that has gifts to share with the world that no one else has. If you are not being authentic to yourself and letting your light fully shine out in the world, you are not the only one missing out. The world is missing out!
We will never stop learning about ourselves either. We are never done. Every day brings new opportunities and challenges. But how I respond to those opportunities and challenges is entirely up to me and within my power. What is real and lasting is the person that I am in this life. This body and everything I own will one day turn to dust. But the person I am and the impact I had on others and the world will live on forever.
