CHOO CHOOOOO! All aboard the #beersaturday express!!
Today’s train will be stopping at Sticky Dessert Bay, Summer DIPA Sands, and then finally onto Quadruple Wharf. Please be sure to purchase your tickets before we embark as anyone travelling without a valid ticket will be taken immediately to economy class where you will be served Fosters or Carling 🤢🤢
Ready to depart? Remember to take your snorkel as breathing will be difficult in this sticky climate. A change of underwear is also advisable due to the highly intoxicating atmospheric conditions. Anyone found to be too “a bit too messy” will not be allowed back on the #beersaturday express.
(spoken in a David Attenborough voice)
Here in Sticky Dessert Bay, we see our first apex predators. The Dubai Style Chocolate & Pistachio Imperial Pastry Stout & The Chocolate and Honeycomb Imperial Stout.
Lurking in the deepest parts of the refrigerator, these gooey beasts patiently wait for their prey to come. Advertising an irresistible array of flavours, the Imperial stouts act like a Venus Fly Trap to lure in their next victim. So alluring are these flavours, the daring souls who find themselves face to face with these beautiful beasts will often pay an extortionate amount of money just to experience a perfect death.
After one sip even the strongest power-drinker is rendered incapable of turning away. Gluttony inevitably takes hold and like a child on Easter Sunday they become insatiable. In a short space of time the prey becomes saturated and eventually drown in a pool of sticky goo.
To help wash away the image of someone drowning in a pool of liquid desire, our next stop takes us to a more tropical part of the island.
Refresh yourself in the bubbling pools of Bombora and enjoy its tropical hops. This thirst quenching double NEIPA is a treat in the hot summer climate and the mango flavour gives it a fruity kick that all summer beers should have. A much gentler creature than those found in Sticky Dessert Bay. You certainly won’t be drowning in sticky goo, but you might be swimming in a mango brew!
To end our journey on an 11% Belgian quad is probably not the wisest move. But to tell you the truth I never intended to get you home safely. This train stops here ladies and gentlemen and how you get back home is up to you. I’d suggest you take this strong Belgian quad for the long walk. With its mix of dark fruit and syrupy flavours, Straffe Hendrik should keep you warm if you get lost on the way. And being that this beer is 11%, it’s quite likely you will get lost. Not a bad way to die I suppose. Not quite the perfect death you get from the imperial stout, but I can think of worst ways to go.
Happy travels my #beersaturday friends!
