We agreed to meet in the morning and I jumped to Freddie for a night of being held and loved. First I had to be hugged by Alki and others and then Allan pulled me to him and sat me on his leg as he made jokes about his alternate.
Eleni started off with, “I’m worried about you wanting to make him love you.”
“Yes, that is kind of sad.” I refused to respond any further, annoying her and Jessie. My family decided it was time we go home and I went for a nice hot shower. Wrapped in a towel robe I walked into the bedroom and stared at everyone with wide open eyes. “God! I think I should have stayed in my room and asked for room service.” That got the girls screaming with laughter and even while we made love I heard them thinking up jokes about room service. The entire night was lovely and special, I just hated having to get up so early to return to the hotel. Back in the hotel room, I lay on the bed to wait for Allan to call and fell asleep. Allan only called after ten and that was because he worried that I might have changed my mind about him and left during the night.
I had to insist before Allan agreed to tender his resignation. We’d used all the winning data I’d collected from the future and we’d ended up with slightly less than I’d hoped for. We earned £2,113,000. I had him invest my money in such a way that I could draw from it as I wanted. He refused to take more than the million and suggested we invest the rest in some orphanages. He wanted us to upgrade a couple of them so that life is cosier for the kids. I guess his years as an orphan dictated his choice. I made certain he understood I admire him for doing so.
Allan invested his money in diverse investments with only a small amount used for buying him an apartment in a town just out of London. He rented it out for as long as I would be staying with him - which he estimated would be about six to eight years. When he saw the home I’d bought in London (it is not freehold and only has eleven years left), he complained about the cost even though we would not be touching any of his money. I reminded him I could just as easily earn more winnings if we run short. He remained silent for the most of that day, deep in thought.
Whatever Allan tried, in whichever way he found to be abrupt or harsh or to cut me down with some cynical statement, I found a way to answer that made him begin to see me as a little angel. Not quite what I had in mind, but okay for a start.
Within two weeks from the day we invested our money, we were on our way to Nairobi - Robbie and Vincent invisibly flying along with us just in case something goes wrong with the aeroplane. When we disembarked and saw the airport building we both felt saddened by the deterioration and the sloppy lack of maintenance and their failure to keep it clean. This airport was worse than it has ever been in my reality. The road into Nairobi was beautifully maintained, probably the only good road in the entire country. Nairobi itself was an eyesore - definitely not equipped to cater to nostalgia. At least Allan saw his fruit market. He complained a number of times about how much smaller everything looks now that he is an adult, but did not make one remark about the sorry state of the city. It was not too hard to convince him that we should fly to Dar.
We actually flew to Moshi, booked a room for two nights and hired a car with driver. I was curious about the farm of Robert and Cherine. We were allowed to take a look, as long as one of the guards stayed with us. Once we left the car to walk in the garden, Allan asked for permission to walk around and they must have seen that he was in love with the environment, for they gave us permission and the guard stayed just far enough from us to allow us some privacy. Once we were among the trees, I let Allan go on his own, not wanting to intrude on his thoughts and memories. Even for me, the smell of Africa, the brightness and size of the butterflies, the sounds of birds, insects and something I decided must be a couple of small monkeys, made me feel nostalgic; I could guess that this place must be bringing back to him memories of his father’s coffee farm. I did keep a watch on his emoting and there was little sadness, so I knew he was not dwelling on the family he lost, just on the sense of vibrant life that Africa has in such areas. I wondered how different it must seem to him from the tame and mostly colourless life he has lived, in and around London. The tame green of a thousand years of farming does not compare with even just this crater and lake. Life here rejoices. I think that is the only description it needs, life here rejoices.
We found raspberries, strawberries, red bananas, granadillas, orange coloured passion fruit, ugly and small green oranges that were the sweetest nectar and we were told that in a couple of weeks we will find custard apples. Allan did not recall them, but I told him I’m determined to have some, even if we have to fly all the way back to Moshi. The hotel staff were not amused when they saw we had arrived with such a variety of fruit. I, on the other hand, sensed this Dar hotel will not become a favourite, as ours is. They have ‘upgraded’ it and turned it into a typical hotel for Europeans and Americans. Everything looks and smells of plastic. At least the climate will have its revenge - plastic does not last long here.
“I’ve heard that you make the best steaks in Dar. You are John?”
“Ndio, but how do you know my name?”
“Someone spoke of the excellent food they ate here and the chef they spoke of was called John.” Flattered but worried (he could sense I was not a Normal) he left us. I bet he’ll rush off to speak to the witch woman as soon as he can.
About an hour after Allan went to his bungalow to sleep, Robbie called for me to take a walk along the beach. The moon had not come out yet and the hotel lights were mostly off along the beach, so I watched the bursts of phosphorescence the tumbling and breaking of waves caused as I walked. A figure walked out of the bush and crouched so as to let me know it was not hostile.
“Hello John.” I looked around. “You did not call the old woman?” I could sense I had shaken him by mentioning her, but he held back his questions, waiting for me to share whatever information I want.
I stood over him. “I do not belong to this world and I will be leaving, but there are others like me who do belong to your world. John, on my world, the one who is the John of that world is a friend of ours. I hope you will be a friend of those who belong to your world.”
“You speak of things I do not understand.” I found a nice place to sit without insects driving me crazy and I explained as well as I could. He did not really understand what Cherine represents, but given time I know he will.
I laughed. “John, the old woman, ours, she mocks us and calls us children. She was old when we first met her and we have seen to it that more than fifty years later she is strong and healthy. I suggest those like me do not meet her until they have grown stronger or else her mocking of them might hurt them. I would like them to meet you and become friends with you. Tell me, the house on the hill, does it belong to a Dimitris?”
“You knew him? He died fours years ago. Thieves broke into his house and killed him.” Robbie promised all of us girls that he’ll bring Dimitri back for this Robert and Cherine - for the local Eddie also, I’m certain they’ll become good friends as ours are.
My healer warned me that John is not well. I recalled that he is not good at healing so I asked my healer to take care of him. “John, your family are all healthy?”
“My grandson has malaria - you can heal?” I came to my feet and took his hand, almost dragging him towards his home. It seems it is going to take a while before he comes to trust me and believe what I’ve told him. To be honest, while we were at his home I was nervous about the old woman appearing, but she stayed away.
Very early in the morning, while it was still cool, I met Allan at the outside restaurant for breakfast. While Allan had a healthy ‘fruit’ breakfast, I had eggs with bacon, fried tomato, sautéed kidneys, toast with wild honey (John got that for me) and coffee. I could tell that Allan disapproved, but he kept quiet.
“Have you ever been a smoker?” I asked.
“Never. Not on moral grounds, I can only plead poor financial circumstances. It did not make sense to me that I should worsen my economic situation by smoking. The idea that most of the price I am paying for a product goes towards taxes offends my sense of fairness.” He grinned. “If I could have secured a regular supply of smuggled cigarettes at tax free prices, I just might have started smoking for the pleasure of giving our government the finger.”
A pity that Eddie does not have a jungle camp in this reality. I found a company to arrange our transport, stay and tour at a game park. It was the same one where Robbie got chased by an elephant, but I doubt the same ‘one tusk’ exists here. We bought some clothes for the trip and I made certain I had enough film (I could not very well use a digital camera since they don’t have them yet. I do have Athena with me, but she looks like a piece of jewellery and never flashes any lights nor communicates in any way while I am with Allan or others). I felt it was a pity I had boasted to Allan of having powers as this trip would have offered a golden opportunity to worry him. Poachers could have grabbed me and he would have thought he’d lost me forever and maybe it would have made him appreciate me. I love a bit of melodrama (after all, I am in all ways a little girl) but, as I said, I can’t do it, more’s the pity.
We had extended our stay in Africa by five weeks and Allan could have happily stayed another five months. If we had not travelled after making the money and he had resigned his job and then sat at home, relaxing, as he’d hoped to do, he would have fossilised and died, mentally and physically. By having to deal with me and also alter much of the way he views the world because of travelling, it fuelled the rejuvenation of his ideals and dreams. In a way, it is as if he is becoming the eighteen year old he has never been. Allan did not recognise the tremendous and miraculous changes within himself because he was now only looking forward, racing to grow and the time of reflection was for the future once he achieved a few new dreams. I wanted those dreams to be far more wondrous than he could imagine. I wanted them to become the dreams that make him a Cherinian. It must not be thought that I had some brilliant ability to see the way forward. Very little was planned long term, mostly I depended on my ability to recognise what had occurred and then allowed my wishes and needs to guide me in tiny steps, trusting they would evolve recognisably into larger steps that defined moments and his heart once I could look back.
I was in a hurry, for even with my visits and many nights spent with my family, I missed them. I like being surrounded by them all the time. However, I did sense I had to be careful. Allan has not led a life of dreaming as the other Allans have. For them it had been easier leading them to the dream of becoming a Cherinian. For this Allan, in a way I had to avoid his imagination overheating for that could bring about a collapse that he would term a return to common sense. He had spent a lifetime learning that it is dangerous to dream and he had to relearn what he’d forgotten at his own pace. It meant we had to stay for a month or two in the environment that is comfortable to him. He needed to spend evenings at the pub with friends. He needed to be bored by the telly so that he falls asleep before it or else, his mind drifts off to new worlds. He needed to include me within the mundane aspects of his life, not just in his adventures and excitements. For instance, I made certain that we went shopping together and stopped for a coffee or soft drink and a chat. I tried to sense how the appearance of an attractive woman affected him, whether she was twelve or fifty, but I never felt any change in him, only a low key sadness at times. My healer confirmed that his libido is almost at a non-existent level. My healer will bring it back slowly so that it does not knock him for a loop. No wonder the old guy could not love me - I recall how Arthur told me it affected him. He said that even friendships were affected as he did not find any human beings were worth caring about.
We are in Cyprus. I did not want to take Allan to Athens as we could run across the local Cherinians. For some reason they do not have any Cypriot Cherinians yet so we can move around freely. Not that anyone is likely to recognise me. I’d claimed the destination of this trip as my choice and Allan complained that I was not being fair since Dar had also been my choice. We playfully argued and he definitely is more relaxed about my teasing him. Not that he has completely changed; he still objects when other children do not show respect for their elders.
I chose Paphos, renting a holiday apartment for a couple of months. One of the reasons I chose Paphos was because I was also hoping to find Estella and Socrati. It turned out that Estella was never born since her mother was not born either. As for Socrati, I’m still hoping he is with his goats and we’ll go to check later.
“Samantha, what’s troubling you? I can see that you are not happy? Is it because you’re stuck with an old man all day? Do you need some…boys and girls of your age for company?”
I took his hand in mine. “I’d be a lot unhappier around kids of my age. You are exactly what the doctor ordered for me - I was just re-living some of my past. You know, sometimes the worst is when your mind is filled with the arguments and fights between those you love.”
“You mean, with you or between them?”
“Between them. What is said to me does not affect me as badly.”
“It is difficult for me to empathise, Samantha, I’ve never had anyone to love, never mind two or more. If you spoke badly to me, that I do know would upset me - you’ve changed me, it would even hurt me.” He actually looked surprised when he added the last.
“I never will.” He did not answer, taking a swig of beer to avoid having to speak. Sometimes, like at times like this, I almost feel like giving up. I say something nice and he turns melancholy. The only thing that helped me feel better was that my two loves stopped fighting and made up. I want to be with them tonight.
Even though it is winter, most Cypriots take an afternoon snooze and Allan adopted the idea wholeheartedly, wanting to sleep or lie in bed and read, between two and four in the afternoon. After such a snooze, as we were leaving to visit a patisserie for coffee and Greek pastries, our landlord saw us and rushed over.
“I am marrying my daughter this weekend. Please, you must both come to the wedding.” For a moment I stared at him, stunned. Allan saw me and realised. He burst out laughing. The man looked offended so Allan explained to him. He looked aghast at the idea. “No, no, you must understand, she is to marry a young man, a Stellios, son of a friend of mine. His mother is second cousin to the husband of the sister of my father. My little Nafsika is not my real daughter, she is my psyhokori (daughter of the soul).” He explained what a psyhokori is, we promised to go to the wedding and reception afterwards and he let us go on to the patisserie.
I said, “We’ll have to buy two presents, one from each of us. They also have a custom I like. The guests pin money onto the dress of the bride - at the reception. If the money is more than just a note, then it can be placed in an envelope. I want us to give two envelopes, she comes from a very poor family and I’d like her to be happy on her wedding day, to feel special and that others also care about them doing well.”
“I’m amazed that your freaky powers did not make you harder. You have a heart made of butter - it melts far too easily for you own good.”
“Why would my powers make me harder? Feeling safe and more in control of my life than most people are, allows me to be softer.”
“I meant that for most people it would make them feel superior and they would not care how other people suffer.” He grinned. “I liked that; I’ll call you my butter girl from now onwards. Samantha,” he hesitated, his heart hammering, “I liked the idea of having a psyhokori. Would you like to be my psyhokori?” Nonplussed and frightened, he stared at me as I burst into tears.
I got up from my chair and he stared without moving, thinking I was about to leave. I pushed the table away and sat on his lap and kissed him on both cheeks. “Thank you Allan, you’ve made me feel more special than I’ve felt for a long time.” I let my head rest on his shoulder for a short while - I don’t want to make Robbie jealous of poor Allan
I teased him one afternoon. “You’re a dirty old man. I’ve noticed you never look at any woman over twenty five."
“You expect me to be attracted to women of my age? What is supposed to draw me, their wrinkles or sagging flesh?”
“That is soo mature of you!”
“I don’t exactly find your attitude mature. It is not as if I’m looking to marry, so why shouldn’t I be attracted to younger women?”
“What is the youngest you could be attracted to? Any age where a girl has boobs?”
He wagged his finger at me. “You’re trying to trick me. We both know that girls of ten often have breasts - even some girls at eight. I might be a degenerate, but I have not sunk to that level yet.” He saw my cheeks redden, but did not suspect that I felt angered by his comment. Robbie of course found my anger funny and laughed at me, pointing out that I am just as prejudiced as the anti-paedophiles. Point taken without my needing to make any excuses.
In the end I avoided looking for those who should be Cherinians. There are enough Cherinians here to find everyone as soon as the local Robert and Cherine decide they want them. I discussed the possibility of us moving to Cyprus, but Allan did not like it. I know he enjoys living in a city so maybe Athens would be better. I arranged for a shipping agent to send all we’d bought to England and we flew back.
Our first night back home, when it was time for me to go to bed - as far as Allan was concerned, I sensed he was in a pensive, almost melancholic mood, so I sat by him as he stared out at the setting sun (being summer, it was quite late), waiting for him to speak.
“My life has been a mansion - no, more like a seedy, musty council flat. Decrepit and somewhat tatty, but that is not what has mattered.” He pulled away, slightly, as if sensing I was about to take his hand and refusing himself the right to touch me. “The rooms of my flat are all gloomy, the windows and doors boarded by fears and petty thoughts; gray cobweb-partitioned rooms of sadness; sadness for what has not been and for what should have. Now comes the time of fear, for I can hear you outside, tearing at the boards, trying to let the sunshine in.” He stared at the horizon, avoiding my eyes as he added, “I am too old for me to learn about life and joy; constant introspection, sadness and gloom have made me too fragile, the energy of your light will shatter me.”
I kept my eyes fixed on him, knowing that even if he would not meet them, he would feel them. “Have you forgotten? I am Fate.” He responded with a slight smile, but I felt how deep was the sadness in him and I wondered at the life of some mortals; at the way they lose pieces of their inner being, until they are worn down to shadows of themselves so that they slip away without leaving anything for their souls to grieve over in memory of the life that was. I did as he wished and left him, but that night I needed my family to hold me, more than I needed to hold them. He has taken the first step of change; I’m happy.
As far as Allan knows, I enjoy reading and like to have about nine hours of sleep per night. I enjoy documentaries, but don’t watch soapies. I eat chocolates and don’t worry about acne. I prefer casual clothes to fashion, but don’t wear jeans all the time like most girls do now. He said that in many ways I am old fashioned and I sense he likes it that I am. He does not mind cooking since I will not even try, but his cooking tends to be bland, so we go out for a meal whenever we can, only making do with scrambled eggs or something similar during inclement weather. Being almost constantly together has caused some friction and I have a difficult time controlling my temper when he shouts at me or, worse, is sarcastic. My self control amazes him plus it makes him feel guilty. When we reached the point that he had controlled his anger a number of times and a full month had gone by without him shouting at me, I decided it was almost time for me to end this so that he can meet his Teller family. He knows of them of course, but not of their psychic abilities and has never shown any interest in meeting them. Well, I do not think he could have even imagined it, so that is okay.
“I didn’t think it would happen Allan, I tried to make sure it could not happen, but it did.”
“What did?”
“I’ve come to love you very much.” I then wanted to run away because I was so embarrassed that I’d told him and he insisted that I must stay and that he loves me too so there is no need for me to be so shy about it. I built up our feelings until I confessed with a wail, “Allan, this is not how I really look, I chose to look like this so that you would find me attractive.”
“I don’t care what you look like, I’m not that shallow Samantha, I’ve grown to love your big heart and bright mind. I love the person you are.” Poor Allan, poor, poor Allan. He does not know himself at all. There is no Allan who can love a girl who has all the attributes they dislike. I drove Allan to the point where he challenged me to show myself as I am so that he can prove how steadfast his heart is.
With her agreement, I said, “You can’t love me with me looking like this,” and I changed myself to look like Eleni did originally - only coarser and squatter.
As Allan, with a pasty face, desperately tried to convince me and maybe himself, that he still loves me, he was bombarding the entire neighbourhood with his waves of shame. He was freaking out that he had held me and kissed my cheek. He hated the way he felt, but he couldn’t help himself. He did try to tell himself that I am special, that how I look is not important, but he failed himself. I let him know that I could sense the truth and left the house. An hour later I returned, in appearance as he had known me once more. When I opened the door and he saw me, I sensed the misery in him. He could not rid himself of the knowledge of how I really look and it was affecting how he thought of me. I stood staring at him with a hurt look until he covered his face with his hands.
I spoke gently and tenderly, “Allan, please look at me.” He put down his hand. “This and the way I looked earlier, both of them are not me, not the way I really look. What I’m going to tell you is going to frighten you if you allow yourself to forget that I do love you. My name is Samantha Teller and I do not belong to your reality. My father is Robert Teller - but not the Robert and Cherine you know of.” I sat opposite him and explained about the role our Allan played in our lives and how much we love him. I explained, superficially, why I had played this nasty game with him. “I think you do not need to know that what is left of my million, about six hundred thousand, is yours, I won’t need it - but I’m telling you anyway. What you do need right now is to know how your own Robert and Cherine feel about you. Do you mind if Tippity and his girls come with them? Oh…” I grinned. “It is not publicly known but they have a little girl who is now part of their family, her name is Nitsa and be careful what you say in front of her, she has suffered a lot - much more than you ever did.” I turned to look behind me as they all appeared. It felt as if Allan were about to have a heart attack. Nitsa was about to giggle at the look on his face, but then she sensed his emoting and with huge eyes, serious and dark, she walked over to him, Fena’s hand in hers.
She touched his hand. “Don’t be afraid, they won’t hurt you.” Spoilsport Robbie sent to me that I must leave; that this time is for them to share and bond on their own. I nearly ignored him, but my own sense of what is right had been awakened to the situation so I jumped back to Freddie, leaving poor Allan terrified by one more evidence of unexplainable powers.
Cherine knew we would want to share so she kept herself open to us. It did take time for them to succeed in calming Allan, and Nitsa helped by sitting on his lap, though he was not comforted by Fena joining her. She was not absorbed in what was happening and mostly enjoyed herself undoing his shirt buttons and then looking at him to close them again so that she can continue with her game. At a time like this, when emotions are flying high, usually a number of my loves will want to hold me. None of them did this time and when I sensed our Allan approach me I understood why. He picked me up and sitting on my chair he held me on his lap, his arms squeezing me tightly as his heart seemed to glow within and all around me.
Allan loves to trap himself within an emotional extreme position, especially if it poses him as the victim and therefore not responsible for his failures. He is certainly not unique in this, we all do so to a degree. However, I said ‘trap himself’ because that is the problem; he found it very difficult to break the mould that had served him for a long time. It did not matter that I had been brought into his life, that he now had money to buy all the luxuries he wanted. Fate had still dealt him a bad hand, she’d brought me to him when he had grown elderly and could no longer do the things he’d yearned to do as a young man. If I had healed and rejuvenated him, he would have found some other reason to hang on to his distrust of ‘fate’. He had decided she is a bitch and so she will always be a bitch and he will never be responsible for his own actions and inactions.
I had to make him love me and convince him I really loved him - it did not matter whether it was as brother, uncle, father or lover, his compulsion to touch those he loves would serve me in either case. Although Allan is not a paedophile (not yet, though I doubt he’d refuse an offer of an Eleni and Jess of his own
Once Allan learnt that I was not that ugly girl, that I was not as he’d thought but no uglier, even if very different in looks, he was able to put aside his feelings of guilt to the degree that he could listen as it was explained to him why I’d played with his emotions. He was helped to see that he had a chip on his shoulder and that he would have clung to it if he had not been forced by me to do something that he could only blame himself for, not fate. As most Allans do, he is honest enough and knows himself well enough to wryly acknowledge I’d seen the truth. His Teller family, even the chimp side of it, are helping him to rid himself of the brittle shards still floating around within his psyche and as he grows in maturity, he is replacing his bitterness with a sense of wonder and delight at all that life has brought him. I’m glad I was able to help as it would not have been right for him to be as he was if he is to live for centuries or forever.
I deliberately avoided meeting him as it could set him back if he still felt he should blame me, but we arrived at the time that we felt we should return to one of the other realities and his family wanted him to come with. His Cherine told us she wants to link him, but will only do so once we are all together in Freddie. They arrived and I made certain that the loveliest of my loves surrounded me when we arrived at the taverna, so that he would see that I am truly not as beautiful as he seems to have decided I am. Robbie sat with a grin; Maria had not brought him his coffee as she was desperately attempting to cope with all the chimps in her kitchen as they tried to show her, all at the same time, their individually favourite foods or fruit. From what she was emoting she is really becoming a full human being and I guess it won’t take long for her to separate from Robbie - though Vincent has shown that an affinity between them will exist for a long time.
The girls between Allan and myself stepped aside, making it look like a corridor opened from me to him. Our Allan and family were already by his side and I saw a grin on their faces that warned me Allan must have told them something they waited for with amused anticipation. As I walked to him I looked into his eyes and my heart soared as I felt him emote love as he looked back at me. Love and anxiety. Fair enough, I also felt some anxiety.
As I came close to him I responded to the way he was feeling and hugged him. He leant down and squeezed and pulling back slightly he looked at me. “I think you’re prettier as you really are.”
“Flatterer.” I grinned. “How does it feel knowing you are an alternate of the person who created all of us?”
“But you are supposed to resemble him so that does make you a representation of what he is like,” one of the Roberts said.
“An idealised version?” He asked. Robert nodded in agreement. Allan grinned, “I think that all you Roberts are also supposed to represent an idealised version of him, so in a way that makes us almost twins?”
Robbie saw our Allan glance at him and he laughed. “You didn’t have anything to do with this?”
Allan, giving him a haughty look, said, “Can you see me wanting to be considered a twin to you!” and then had a good laugh at Robbie’s reaction. Robbie laughed with him so most of us ended up grinning.
Allan had girded himself for asking me something that frightened him and by changing the subject he now found himself nervous all over again. I took his hand in mine, “Whatever it is, I won’t bite.”
“But…you might refuse - I’d prefer to risk you biting me.” Okay, so I’d walked into that. Of course the girls thought it funny to project pictures of me biting Allan, which confused and worried the chimp family. Their Cherine must have succeeded in explaining to them because they jumped about, screaming to show their amusement. Allan and I waited and as everyone fell silent I gave him an encouraging smile (as I wondered what it was he needed to ask of me).
“Samantha, will you honour me by becoming my psyhokori?” I was stunned, I definitely had not been expecting this kind of proposal. Despite the way I felt and the warm flush of love for him that filled me, I nearly burst out laughing. Every single one of my loves, male and female, were shocked, but the sudden feeling of possessiveness flooding them surprised them and me. It was almost as if they were threatened and felt the need to close ranks to keep me for themselves only. Even before I realised what they were feeling, Cherine did and she reacted. Rapidly, she went to Allan and hugged him and then looked up at his pale face so that he would see how she felt.
“She deliberately set out to hurt you because she loved you, but you’ve shown us your heart is big enough to see beyond the hurt. Of all of us, our Samantha seems to love all Allans the most and today you have shown everyone why she does. I’m very proud of our Samantha, but my heart is also filled with love for you and I hope she agrees.” As I’ve said before, our Allan wears his heart on his sleeve and is not good at hiding his feelings. This Allan is just as bad and as the words Cherine spoke sank into his mind and he understood, he looked as if he wanted to both laugh and cry. The rest of my family decided to take their cue from Cherine and, not giving me a chance to speak, they took turns in telling him they hope I agree. At first he was confused and tried to look at me, but then he realised that he was being paid a singular honour and he concentrated on my loves as they talked with him. Finally they were done and it was my turn. As Allan looked at me, so did everyone.
My attempt at humour, so my loves dramatically made clear to me, was not funny. I took his hand in mine and asked him to walk with me. He was convinced I was about to turn him down and feeling him, the girls all scowled in my mind. I grinned to myself.
“For how many years Allan?” Damn, I’d forgotten how he reacts; I felt his legs turn weak so that it felt as if his knees would give way and he trembled.
“You agree?” I sent him my emoting and he fell to his knees before me and took hold of me by my shoulders. “How many years? Does it have to be limited? What years, yours or mine?”
I grinned, “I thought it would be fair to give you an out once you’re tired of me.”
Before he could respond, Freddie announced, “Everyone who loves Samantha is invited to a party being held by the Teller family after the ceremony of adoption to be performed tonight.”
I pulled a face. “Why did he have to qualify the invitation? Now nobody will come.”
“I will.”
“Next time we come up here we’ll also visit Lusalith. Did your Cherine tell you she is a god?”
“A god - goddess? You mean gods do exist?” I explained and was amazed at the thirst I sensed in him for more such stories. The girls who’d been lightly sharing through me promised to do a telling for him.
I did not jump us straight back to the taverna or our home. I wanted Allan to have enough time with me for him to sense the girl he’d grown to know and care for, despite the change in my looks. Dommi said, when I wrote the preceding sentence, that it is not the change in looks that throws him off balance, it is the ‘who’ I am and the almost magical powers I seem to have. I hope so, for I know that any Allan will find it easier to adjust to that than adjusting to a change in looks - if he doesn’t like my real looks.
The imps asked me to allow them to design the ceremony and I agreed. The ceremony was elegantly simple while also heavily steeped in hints of symbolism that made the occasion something so beautiful that I will remember it forever while also bonding Allan and I even more tightly. Not one of us teased them about not doing or saying anything funny this night.
Patera Allan and I were dancing when he whispered to me, “I’ve learnt about Arthur and how special he is to you. Samantha, if you wish to use what we did tonight to help you feel closer to him, I will understand.”
“Neither Arthur nor I would do such a thing. He knows that this night is special for me because of you. Can I ask you a question?” He nodded. “When I was trying to make you love me, I had my moments when I feared that you might fall in love with me - as some Allans have done. I know you don’t think of yourself as a paedophile, but was there no moment when I aroused you - not even slightly?”
He chuckled. “Slightly? No.”
I leant back to look at him. “Are you telling me you were on fire with need for me and I did not sense it?”
He faltered and blushed. “You were monitoring me?” He hesitated and forced himself to dance as he admitted, “Anyway, the moments did not occur when we were together.” He was still blushing furiously and I can tell you, seeing a man in his fifties blush like that because of me, it really was flattering - I’d never realised that it is also sexy.
Over the next few days, we and our closer friends and alternates were surprised by the show of respect given to Allan by our alien friends. Even the other Allans looked surprised but at the same time deferred to him as the aliens did. Angelica whispered to me that what they are doing is a compliment directed at me. Jade answered that Angelica was right in saying it is because of me, but they are showing their admiration for Allan because he had shown great courage by daring to link himself to me. That got everyone else teasing me so I threatened to call in my patera to defend me.
There has been much laughter and joy to serve as healing of our hearts, but Allan did not take long to prove himself an Allan. A group were discussing the inhumanity us Terrans are capable of, including slavery as an example, when they asked the aliens present whether other species are capable of behaving in such ways.
Allan cleared his throat, wanting to speak, but not certain he is welcome to voice his opinion. Enrico, one of the Normals travelling with us, asked him what he thinks.
“I don’t think you should include slavery in all its forms. Not even all forms of giving or receiving of pain.”
“What do you mean by saying ‘all forms’?”
Allan felt that most of the Terrans were furious with him and he lost his cool as he tried to work out what had gone wrong. He turned to an alien in desperation. “What I spoke of, are there such people among other species?”
“Regrettably there are.” The answer defused the tension as the Terrans turned their attention to the alien. “We are not aware whether such mental illness is to be found among all species - we doubt it is possible in many that we know of, but it does seem there are individuals for whom pain and humiliation has become identified as a source of pleasure. The Unation medical AI is collating all information on similarities and differences between species for the scientists to examine. It is hoped that by comparing the differences we will find answers we could not before.”
A Normal asked, “Are any such people Cherinians?”
The alien patiently explained, “Prime Robert has publicly answered that question for most species by suggesting that even the healthiest of us are to some small degree subject to such fancies. It would seem that the lack of or low self esteem is more often than not the cause. Perhaps I too fall under such a category? The more we learn, the more we realise how ignorant we are of our own minds and souls.”
If Allan had not thought to ask the alien, he would have been very unpopular with our Terrans, for they felt he was letting down our side, exposing us as a species to the ridicule of other species. Once they saw that the problems are common to most human species, they relaxed and opened their minds just enough for them to actually ask questions and learn.
The girls kept their word, doing a telling for Allan during our travels and visits to the three realities, as we helped them recover from damage to their ecology while also doing all we can to strengthen the Teller families. We made certain that each of them have their Alki, Hettie and Eddie and others who’ve turned out to be so important to us. I asked and was given the right to deal with the Samuel King who killed Eddie and Hettie. I did not think I was guessing, only he could have killed them that way.
Our Samuel King was not with us, so Vincent returned home to bring him to us. Vincent, later on, told me that he collected him from the time after his return from his visit to Kiris with Birshima. When he arrived I was in one of my ‘moods’, withdrawn behind my thoughts and for a brief instant I saw him as I would have were he a stranger. I saw a man with cheekbones slightly too strong but fairly good looking. What impressed me far more was what I sensed of him. Familiarity had indeed blinded me to the changes as he’s grown and matured. Despite my being told that he’d been linked because I wanted him linked, the truth is he had been linked because he wanted it so desperately. Looking back, I can see that the strength I had admired so much had not been as it was meant to be; it had been partly crippled by his past. He truly is as strong as I had thought he was then, but now there is beauty to his strength as compassion and empathy have matured him, freeing him of fears and feelings instilled by his uncle when he was still too young to see how he was being manipulated. I felt such joy in seeing him as he is now that everyone turned to look at me with shock. I ignored them and his reaction and rushed to give him a welcome hug.
I looked up into his eyes and I could feel that mine were brimming. “You are finally the policeman I wanted you to be. Samuel King, will you promise to help me make Robert's dream come true?”
He did not smile, not that anyone else did. “And how am I to do that?”
“By not allowing me to be weak.”
“And what of when you are too strong?”
