“You did not say I had to do it your way and you did want me to wing it.”
“Are you sure you want to talk now? I don’t want your embroidery to be spoilt.”
8011
She looked up with a grin. “Take a look.” I looked into the microscope and laughed. She’d made a total mess of it. “Dommi suggested I take it up so as to learn patience.”
I grinned. “I better control my impatience - I don’t want Dommi to demand I do this for hours at a time.” I sat by her. “Rosie love, I came to apologise. When I write something in the diary it is the same as if I said it to you - no, it is worse because it is the coward’s way of confronting you. Boy! That makes for a lot of apologies I owe you. One of the rules I strongly believe in is that each of us have the right to do and say whatever we want - only answerable afterwards if we were thoughtless and hurt others. You hurt no one, just my ego - and that was a good thing to do. I sort of thought of the project as being mine, just like a Normal would! I’m sorry my love.”
“This reality is your project Sam!”
“It started as a childish dream and if the dream is to mature, then it must belong to everyone - even Cherine.”
Rosie was silent for a long while, but I waited, determined that if she felt I should do penance, then I would. She looked into my eyes and I saw a sadness. “You are not only going to break Robert's heart, we all love you as a child. Not only your dreams are maturing Sam, so are you.”
She was hurting! To give a flippant answer would be insulting. I took my time to think about what she’d said. Was it just her fear speaking? - we all have these fears at times, but usually we don’t speak of them and time shows us we were wrong to fear. For my love to speak of her fear made it far more serious.
“I hope not Rosie, not in the way you mean. Time is changing us and will change us, all of us, but it does not mean we have to stop being children. Not even for Robbie, I hope he’ll stay a child for a long, long time.” She giggled. “My body really is the body of a child and since we enjoy messing around with our age or looks, Robbie has a virgin in his bed often enough for the symbolism to keep him happy. Having the body of a child means I feel, in a tactile sense to others, exactly like a child. I smell like a child. The chemicals my body produces are those a child’s body would, so my mind is affected - despite the growth of knowledge and experiences. They cause me to play, laugh, giggle and be foolish at times. Rosie, as long as all I just said remains true, I’ll never mature in the way you fear. I may grow wiser in some ways, but there is nothing wrong with being a child who is sometimes wise - since I’ll always be a child who is often foolish. The maturing you fear comes from growing tired of life and I don’t think one of us girls needs to fear that, we must just keep an eye on Robbie and if we sense it happening to him we must insist he becomes a child again for a while.”
She stared at me with wide eyes. “Gosh, I only expressed a simple concern and you analysed it to death and have now frightened us so that poor Robert will have to pretend he’s never bored or tired.”
“Wasn’t that childish of me?” The room flooded with girls - girls who were laughing, but also holding pillows. I ducked behind Rosie and jumped. I felt the pillows hit her and Rosie sort of went ‘grr’ in her mind to me before she helplessly burst into laughter.
I’ve asked everyone to keep from the locals information about Rosie posing as the goddess of the Pphaijan. I do not think they should learn about it before the Pphaijan do, and it will be a while (a long while) before we can let them know.
I also asked for volunteers to be responsible for gradually introducing the Pphaijan to our ideas and to also prepare for our opening centres there someday. The group responsible are twenty six in number and I’m extra pleased that five of them are not Terrans. Until the locals know all about us Cherinians, those five will have to project as Terrans, but they will let their local friends know that they are of a different species as soon as possible, as we don’t want friendships being formed that turn into hatred when they learn the truth.
The discussions about the above took an unexpected turn when one of the non-Terran volunteers asked how they should handle the situation, should it arise, that a local falls in love with a different species volunteer who is disguised as a Terran. My family, including Michael and his family, Dimi, Gregory, pappou and his family and Allan, all have more or less the same attitude on this so we were not too surprised when we found a large number of people supporting the opinion that should the non-Terran have declared his or her true origin but they are loved anyway, if they love the Terran in return, then there is no reason they should not be a couple for as long as they both love each other. What did surprise us was that those not agreeing were not only from the Terrans. Some species overwhelmingly do not like the idea (not just with Terrans but with any inter-species love and mating) while other species only have a few individuals who dislike the idea. Because of our special bonds with the Sparklers and Anadir, it saddened us when we sensed a large number of Anadir were among those who do not approve.
8012
We were back at the Orati Centre and we’d just finished telling the local leaders about the Pphaijan. I sensed that something was bothering Efineh, so I arranged for us to be alone on the roof. She sat with left leg crossed over her right and her fingers locked around her knee. She never sits like that.
“While we were in Freddie and I watched all that was happening, I couldn’t help wondering why Irfan did not like them. There is some similarity in the style of art, their religion is also similar…”
“I think you are mistaken love. Their religion is very different. In our realities, their religion scorns the physical, only the next life matters. That is why there is so much misery, why the conditions they are willing to live under are so miserable. The Pphaijan and their goddess strike a more healthy balance, allowing for rewards in this life.
I’m going to talk about life on our planet before the Cherinians came out of hiding. Those who grow up without respect for money because they have it thrown at them in place of love, they tend to become the most fanatical socialists or communists, rejecting their society because they feel their own parents rejected them. Our society, that of the West, especially the northern countries in Europe, the young lived pampered lives, their bodies soft and if they had muscles, they did not come from hard work but from the gym. Those who rebelled against their culture felt the same scorn for the physical as the Eastern philosophy does. Irfan could never understand or approve of this goddess, in this reality. The structure of their beliefs and the motivating energy of their social traditions are not antagonistic, but are mutually interdependent. They have an essential unity that is healthy. He has an inner need to move to India and live without food and money so that his body is destroyed - but unfortunately for him the Sparklers roam our planet searching for those who need healing - and nobody starves anymore. He’ll never get what he needs since he does not have the self-discipline to deliberately starve himself with food all around him.”
“If you are right, I’d like to know, how could he expect me to live like that?”
“Sweetheart, he didn’t. He does not know what he really wants, he thinks he is searching for a simple way of life without luxuries. That, he did think you would be happy with, because he thought your own culture had accustomed you to living without technology and luxuries. He forgot that you were also my daughter and I’d taken whatever opportunities I found to spoil you rotten.”
I saw a gleam in her eye. “So, you’re responsible for him not loving me anymore.”
“Of course! I wanted to keep you for myself.”
“Everyone else thinks you are keeping me for Sebura.” She giggled.
I grinned. “I know. I’ve enjoyed the irony. I’ll tell you what, I’ll hold back on throwing you at Sebura long enough for you to find someone you want. Happy?” She hugged me, sensed I wanted to stay a while longer with her, so she lay down on the bench with her head on my lap and closed her eyes, peeping at me now and then.
If pain, hunger, your own children dying of starvation and disease are to be accepted without resistance because we look to a future life rewarding us, then we cannot be said to be living with a ‘purposive behaviour emerging from a persistent hope’. It is the cruellest trick any human can play on another, especially when it condemns generation after generation to mindlessly accepting poverty and suffering as our lot. Now, this life, it is important.
8013
Robert woke up feeling guilty. He was also surprised to find he’d lost the last few hours of daylight and it was dark. Carefully he made his way outside without putting on any lights and looked at his Land Rover. It no longer was up on a jack, someone had finished the job for him. He walked around to the other side and looking inside the car he saw the tyre and rim lying on the back seat. ‘Tippity!’ he thought with a slight amusement. He lifted the wheel and placed it in the back, leaving it loose since he’d have to hand it in for fixing the slow puncture at the petrol station in the morning.
He returned to the verandah, lit a cigarette and sat back to enjoy this moment of silence and beauty. The sky was clear and it reminded him of the evening he’d taken Cherine out on Lake Duluti in a small boat. Since the lake is the visible bottom of an extinct volcano crater, it is surrounded all around by the hillsides that are partly farmed by him and two other coffee farmers. He remembered Cherine’s exclamation of delight as she’d looked into the water and discovered a starry world of tiny phosphorescent creatures. They were not evenly spread, there seemed to be layer upon layer of drifting clouds of light and Cherine had stared for minutes with a look of intense concentration on her sweet little face. Tippity had glanced into the water when Cherine had exclaimed, frowned at the tiny points of light and then he’d lost interest, waiting for them to approach another closed water lily flower so that he could pluck and eat it. He picked his nose and as he made to eat what was on his finger, Cherine spoke to him without turning around to look at him, ordering him to wash his hand in the water. Disgruntled at having to waste tasty food, Tippity obeyed her. Every time Cherine did something like that, showing she has senses or an awareness of the world he lacks, Robert find himself awed by her again.
His memories then took him back two years. He’d just angered his father by blowing the capital he’d been given to make something of his life, buying this small farm in Tanganyika against his wishes. His father saw no future in Africa and was angry with him, refusing to even talk to him. Then the new president of the country gave his talk that electrified all of Africa, provoking a storm of debate. In his speech to the nation he’d told his people that he could understand their need to have money, good jobs, cars, homes and so on. He warned them that the world is changing, that from a population of one million seven hundred thousand, in the year 1906, they now have, in 1996, a population of over twenty three million. He spoke of how even the advanced nations of the West are facing escalating food prices and explained in simple words why there is a growing shortage of food. “We have tried socialism, we nationalised farms and businesses that were successfully feeding and earning us foreign exchange and now we are starving, our farms only feeding us weeds, our tractors rusted. The days when we could look to friends helping us to feed our children are gone, food is going to be critically short all over the world. We have one last opportunity to save ourselves. I invite experienced farmers from anywhere in the world to come to farm in our country. We cannot afford to provide you with tractors and seed, but we will give you land and water rights. If you wish to buy from us the farms we have, then our prices and terms will be very reasonable. We also commit ourselves and our children’s children, you will never be persecuted nor will your farms ever be nationalised. We guarantee our promise through the international community, World Court and the United Nations.”
Suddenly the farm was worth five times the price he’d paid. Robert went to the local government office and persuaded them to give him more land. He explained that the coffee farm earns enough profits for him to break in virgin land and plant it with food. He told the corpulent officer that he is not happy just growing coffee, he wants to do his share for the community by growing food. He was given six hundred hectares alongside a river, which to his European way of thinking sounded like a vast area but, according to African terms, was very small. With the land given to him were another two hundred hectares that would only nominally be in his name. He’d have to farm it, but the profits would belong to the officer who’d arranged the sale of land to him for almost no money. He was stretching himself thin but, still, he’d thought, he’ll prove himself and they will ask him to farm more land instead of having to beg and bribe for it.
8014
He had then gone to London, determined to convince his father to invest the money he needs for tractors, equipment, fuel, wages and seed. His father was not as bitter and even ‘almost’ acknowledged that he had not been as foolish as he had told him he was, but he felt that Robert is being very naïve in believing the promises of African leaders and turned him down. Robert decided that since he is in London, he should use all his contacts to find the funds he needs, so he stayed on.
He was sitting in a Wimpy reading a newspaper and drinking coffee when a girl and woman at another table got to their feet and walked over to him. Robert realised that the little girl was pulling at her mother and was surprised when he realised he was their target.
“Hello, I’m Cherine and this is my mother Marian. May we sit with you, we have to talk.” They must have seen the shock he was in from his face, for even the mother stopped pulling back in embarrassment and sat down, her eyes now glinting with cold anger. He had dreamt many dreams of a little girl called Cherine and him making love. He wondered for a moment whether he was hallucinating as he stared into her dark eyes. When she next spoke, her words almost did convince him she was not real, that he was imagining them. She told him in a matter of fact voice, as if he already knew what she was telling him, “I told my mother she has to meet the man I’m going to marry.”
“Cherine!” Marian blushed.
“Ask him mum, he knows.”
He’d stammered, “B…but…I j-just met you!”
“Your name is Robert and you are lying. We’ve met in our dreams - haven’t we?” she demanded more than asked.
“Jesus!” In a panic he’d stared at the mother, afraid Cherine had confided in her what the dreams were about. Marian must have guessed, because she gave a vicious smile, realising he is afraid of her for some reason. Cherine took it upon herself to explain to him about the death of her father and that her mum is looking for a job. She asked him straight out whether he can give her a job - now placing Marian at a disadvantage so that he could have returned her vicious smile if it had been in his character to do so.
“I live in Africa Cherine, in Tanganyika to be exact, and I am a farmer. I don’t think that would be the kind of environment you and your mother would enjoy. No television, no shops with all the stuff you want, no other white children close by, a multitude of strange insects...”
“I don’t need anyone else, I have you. If you are farming then you must have someone to do your office work and cook for you, so you need my mother. We’ll come.”
He’d turned to Marian in the hope that as an adult she would help bring back some sanity. “I came to London to look for funds to buy tractors and other equipment I need. I’m certain Cherine’s idea would be marvellous for me, I do need the help, but I can’t afford it.”
“You’ll find the money.” Cherine cut in.
Feeling rather overwhelmed by her, he’d promised to phone them if he did find the money. After Marian dragged Cherine away he’d decided to take a long walk as he felt he needed to recover.
He found his feet taking him towards Mayfair and as he looked at the once familiar buildings it had brought back memories of schooldays and happy weekends with his friend Nicko. He wondered whether Nicko is still a playboy or whether he has settled down and turned into a businessman. He had walked past the entrance to the apartments without looking up; telling himself that that part of his life belongs to the past only, millionaires and shipowners don’t have friends amongst people like him. As the road drew to an end, his eye caught the movement of a couple of men leaving the Playboy Club, but he did not bother to look as he had sunk back into his worries about finding the money. In the background he heard the one man tell the other that he is going for a few last spins at the Casino almost opposite the Playboy. Then, the same voice had called out in surprise, “Robert, is that you?” As he turned to face him, Nicko had called out joyfully, “Re malaka! It is you!” He’d rushed over to hug him and kiss his cheeks.
He’d happily given in, going into the casino with Nicko for a drink and to talk about old times.
8015
“Farming in Africa! I can’t believe it! You were never the physical type, I expected you to become an artist or something useless like that. A farmer! What do you grow?”
“Coffee…”
“Like your father did?”
“Yes. Coffee and I’m hoping to start growing beans.”
“What do you mean you’re hoping?”
“The government gave me more land for growing food, but I have to find the money to finance it.”
Nicko had asked many questions, but he’d long been used to the Greek way, their lack of sensitivity to privacy, and had answered all the questions until Nicko asked, “How much are you looking for?”
He laughed. “Why, can you introduce me to an investor or bank?”
“Posa vre malaka! (how much you idiot!)”
“About a hundred thousand should get me going.”
“Pounds? Knowing you, I’d guess it will most probably end up costing a hundred and fifty. What shares are you offering?”
“Shares?” He’d expected to be asked for security, not shares. “I don’t know, how about forty percent of the new farm? I don’t want other shareholders in my coffee farm.”
“What do you mean other? - I’m offering to buy a share, since when am I an ‘other’?”
“You? Why would you invest in farms in Africa? You don’t know anything about farming or about Africa!”
“I know you. Roberto, I was impressed by the inaugural speech of the president and he is right, the world is going to face a massive crisis. People talk about us having decades of oil for pumping into the market, but it is not true, it will soon be too expensive for us to pump out most of the oil still underground. We’re also going to run out of exportable gas in most parts of the world. Food will have to be grown locally or else people will starve. I’ll fund you and I don’t care if it makes a profit for me or not. Use this as your opportunity to learn about farming and when you are convinced you can handle it, you move to Greece. In the meantime I’ll look for land so that we can grow vegetables and, if it is possible, grains, such as lentils and corn. Roberto, I’ve discovered that the Americans have a plant they call a tomato tree; it grows big tomatoes all year round. If you can believe it, each tree produces about thirty kilograms per month. I want to plant a few thousand of them in Greece. If we have tomatoes, onions, garlic and lentils, at least Greece will not starve.” He grinned. “We’ll always have goats, olives, grapes, wine and figs. What else do we need?”
Nicko had been as good as his word. The next day he had paid for the equipment he needed and arranged for it to be exported to Dar es Salaam. He’d also transferred fifty thousand pounds to his account. They agreed for Nicko to be taken on safari at some indeterminate date in the future. Nicko had joked about him shooting a lion and he had only laughed when Robert told Nicko there are no more lions left outside of fenced-in game parks, since Nicko had only been pretending he would visit.
For some inexplicable reason, he’d found himself compelled to phone Cherine and Marian as promised - a promise he’d not really intended keeping.
Robert made himself another coffee, walked back out to sit on the lawn and lit another cigarette before returning to his memories.
With a grin he recalled how nervous he’d been when they arrived at the Moshi airport. Scenes from his dreams had filled his mind during the trip and he’d worried as to what Cherine expected of him once they were on the farm. Cherine had been a typical child of eight, excited by her first flight and arrival in a strange country. They’d flown to Nairobi and caught a local flight to Moshi. His Land Rover had been waiting for him in the parking area so they’d loaded their cases and driven into town. Marian had been taken aback at finding herself in a small grocery shop, but was soon ordering groceries from the clerk, stocking up for a week as Robert had asked of her. She’d given the first of many sniffs when he’d added to her order boxes of chocolates - he chuckled as he recalled her surprise when they arrived home and she saw that a third of his luggage weight was from chocolates and sweets he’d bought in London.
8016
In this reality, which in some ways is still more innocent, there are no specific laws regarding sex with a minor in England and in Tanganyika, but society does frown on it happening and the police are likely to find some other reason for arresting any man who blatantly advertises the fact in his manner or speech, so Robert was very careful not to give either of them the impression he is interested in Cherine that way.
Cherine had been overtired and also exhausted from being excited for so many hours, so it was no surprise when Marian took her to bed early. The next morning he’d left the home just before dawn and returned for breakfast at nine - and luckily she had gone outside to explore the exotic surroundings. He’d gone for lunch at a neighbour’s and told them about his new housekeeping arrangements. The wife was pleased as it meant she would have new company while the husband had refused to believe he had not employed Marian so as to have sex with her. That evening, after a nice meal and a relaxed conversation with him mostly answering questions from both of them, Cherine had yawned, kissed his cheek goodnight and gone to bed.
The next morning Cherine had waited for him to come home for breakfast and she asked to go around with him so as to learn how to grow coffee. Amused, he’d agreed, fully expecting her to lose interest within the hour. By lunchtime he was impressed by her staying power.
“Robert, why have you only got five chickens?”
He’d nodded, pleased with her powers of observation. “With only me here, I did not need more for eggs. I’ll ask the carpenter to extend the coop so that we can increase the chickens.”
“Can I have a job of my own?”
“What kind of job? Don’t forget you must set aside at least five hours a day for studying, you promised your mother and me.” He saw Marian frown, but she did not comment.
Cherine had shrugged. “Piece of cake. I want the chickens and other birds to be my job. You have to do what I say if it is about them.”
“Other birds?” She had not answered, just staring until he gave in. “Sure. What salary do you want for doing the job?”
“Nothing.”
“Then I cannot employ you - sorry. If I’m not paying you and you do something wrong or you slack off and don’t look after them, I can’t tell you off. Either you take responsibility for the job and get paid, or I find someone else to look after the chickens - and birds, whatever that means.”
She’d nodded. “You decide how much. You will have to also give me money to buy food for them and for buying more chickens and birds.” He’d suddenly ‘clicked’ and realised she wants to buy African parakeets which would have to do for pets as he had told her he dislikes having dogs and cats around his home, so he agreed a sum with her, explaining that if medicines are required they are not included in the budget.
Over the next few days she’d kept the farm carpenter busy, but he’d avoided going to look so that she doesn’t think he is checking up on her. A week later she’d fretted about her money having finished, but she did not ask for more. She had however asked him to take a look.
He saw she had bought a variety of chickens (his farm driver had taken her and her mother into town). She explained. “Those chickens are the hardiest and they also give eggs nearly every day. The long-legged red chickens are good for meat and I’m told they are good at surviving chicken sicknesses. The spotted bantams are popular with the hotels because they are the right size for a meal and they are always looking for more suppliers.”
He’d thought of nipping her ambitions in the bud, but then he decided she might be right, any extra income would be welcome, so he’d congratulated her and agreed to inspect the chickens once a week and she would also have to prepare a monthly written report for him. The report part of it had not made her happy, but since then she had stuck it out and kept full records for him. He had seen their poultry grow into a business with ducks and geese and guinea fowl added. She had trembled the first time one of her fowls had been slaughtered for a meal and he’d thought she had gone into shock. After that she did not show any distress and would calmly watch as the birds were slaughtered and plucked for delivering to their customers. He’d long ago started giving her a share of the profits and she was now earning as much as her mother.
8017
Three months after their arrival in Africa, he’d taken them for a weekend visit to Ngorongoro crater. They’d stayed in a chalet overnight, but had spent all day down in the crater with a guide, watching the animals, while the guide explained why the animals here have unique habits. He’d enjoyed watching Cherine so excited about seeing animals and was not surprised when she used up all the films she’d brought and almost tearfully wished she had brought more.
A month later he’d been walking with Cherine and Marian in Arusha, in the sokoni (market-place) on the other side of the second river, buying local produce. A Maasai dressed in western clothes whispered to him. He’d not been certain he’d understood, but he agreed to go with the man and take a look by a vehicle he’d pointed out. He asked Marian and Cherine to wait and went to the vehicle. A boy sitting inside showed him a baby chimp. He recalled the flush of instant anger, knowing they had killed the mother. Since he knew it would be a waste of time reporting it, he was determined to at least not buy the animal, however sorry he felt for the fate of the baby chimp, as it would only encourage them to kill more of them - despite the chimpanzees being a protected species.
“Can I see?” Cherine said and pushed her way between him and the vehicle. When she saw the baby chimp she’d stared with huge eyes and then asked to hold it. The Maasai man nodded to the boy and he passed it over. When he saw her face and the way she cradled it he knew he’d lost the fight, he’d have to buy the chimp.
As they’d driven back to the farm, the rear of the Land Rover filled with goods, Cherine fed the chimp pieces of banana, talking to it as if it understood her. She told it that it’s name will be Tippity and that became its name. Over the following months he was to hear the local workers exclaim a number of times about the uncanny ability of Tippity to understand what Cherine said to him.
Tippity only highlighted what he’d already known or guessed about Cherine. He knew Marian as a strong willed woman who took no nonsense and who seemed to sadly lack the sense of humour he enjoys. Despite that and despite her dominating Cherine just short of trying to break her spirit, he’d seen too many instances of Cherine having her way. He’d learnt a little about her psychic gift from the dreams, but he had not believed his dreams and since she’d found him he had not dreamt of her again. He had sometimes wondered about that; were there no dreams because she did not feel the need because she is with him?
Five months later, on a Saturday morning, he had driven to Arusha and Marian was visiting their neighbour, Mrs Hallenbeck. Cherine was making up for not studying the hours she had agreed to and was deeply immersed in the intricacies of her algebra lesson when she heard screams. She walked out and one of the servants shouted to her to get back into the house and lock the gate. He urgently explained that Sivembo, a farm worker, is drunk and has gone wild with his panga (machete), attacking anyone he sees.
Sivembo appeared with the panga in his hand and the servant ran away. Sivembo saw Cherine and ran across the lawn towards her. Cherine stood her ground, Tippity standing next to her baring his teeth in a big grin of fear. As Sivembo approached he slowed down and came to a stop before her. Calmly and with a gentle smile she raised her arm, palm of her hand upwards as she said, “Please give it to me.” With confusion in his eyes he handed over the panga. She told him to sit down. Once he was sitting on the lawn she told him that he needs to sleep and that when he wakes up he’ll be feeling better again. He lay down, curled up on his side and slept.
Two of the servants saw what happened and Sivembo himself recalled what had happened when he woke up. Her fame spread among the locals, but when women turned up with their sick children, pleading that she cures them by touching them, she explained that she cannot heal anyone and showed a small festering cut just above her ankle. The experience awakened in Robert the feeling that she has power over him and he became uneasy.
At the last of his thoughts, Robert’s remembering took a different direction. When Cherine had first arrived, she had searched out opportunities to be alone with him and had suggested they should be sleeping together. One night she woke well after midnight and came to his bedroom and he awoke as she snuggled into the bed next to him. He’d had to be firm in his refusing her. As if it was not of any further interest to her, Cherine had stopped expressing her wish to have sex and live with him as his wife. Thank god Marian had not found out what had happened.
8018
Two nights ago he’d had his dream with Cherine again. They made love and it was beyond just beautiful for him because of a deep and pure love between them and he awoke as he ejaculated. For a few seconds he was lost in the memories before he noticed a shadow by the door. As if she’d sensed his noticing her, she moved over to the side of the bed.
“Since you have me here, do you really need the dreams - wouldn’t it be better for both of us if it was for real?”
He was embarrassed and certain she could smell the scents of his ejaculation, so he spoke roughly. “Not now Cherine, we’ll talk tomorrow.”
Two days had passed and she had not forced herself on him, waiting for him to show he wants to talk to her. Her restraint, so mature for her years, had forced him to face what exists between them more honestly. He’d come to realise that he does love her and that he does want to make love to her, despite it making him feel like a pervert. To make love with her, he corrected himself. He told himself he’d have to be gentle as if it is a sacrifice on his part, but he found he liked the idea. He’d decided that tonight he will tell her and ask her to come to his bedroom once Marian is asleep. He had not expected a ten minute snooze to develop into a deep sleep of five hours and that he’d awaken to finding her gone to bed.
Having decided they would be making love, a delay of another day seemed unbearable. He entered the house, locking the door and the steel gate and going to his bedroom he had a shower. He dried himself and wrapping the towel around his waist he tiptoed to Cherine’s bedroom. It was dark and he could see her form lying under the sheet. Carefully, so as not to awaken her, he crept closer to have a good look. Her dark hair spread out, some of it behind her and some over her jaw line and throat. As he stared, he realised her eyes are open and she is staring back at him. Before he could panic and run away she flipped the top sheet off her. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
“You’re not asleep?” He felt foolish even as he asked. He sensed goosebumps rise all over him as he lay down and her arm softly slid across his chest. She moved so that she was curled up against him, her face hidden within the space between his chest and chin. He smelt her sweet childish scent and it felt as if all the magic he had ever dreamt of and never believed in had come true for him. With a soft moan he squeezed her against himself.
For these two years, Robert had found himself growing more sensitive to Cherine, but this night it felt as if a wall had dissolved so that he could sense her as strongly as he could sense himself. Now for the first time he learnt that she had not been as confident as he’d thought, fear had been hammering at her and the reaction to his coming to her bed and holding her with love flooding him, was more than she could bear and she was sobbing, her tears wetting his throat. It brought tears to his eyes and he felt himself falling into a sea of tenderness for her.
Somehow he did not find himself whispering reassurances, preferring that his love speak directly to her heart so that her love could reach directly into his heart while his fingers speak of his body’s adoration of her sweet body. Slowly she relaxed against him as his fingers kneaded, massaged and tenderly caressed her, wonder filling his mind as he felt her satin skin, soft as the petals of the most delicate flower, as he felt the heat of her and the staccato throbbing of her heartbeat. Adding all the physical sensations of her existence to the sharing of minds, not only the love he sensed from her, but the childish sweetness of her trust, the open and total giving of herself all the way to the core of her soul, it all demanded the same of him and all the prehending of the vulnerable parts of his heart meant to protect him from the pains of the past unfurled and offered his vulnerabilities to her with total trust. Their tears of past fears and pains became tears of unbearable joy and love that could not be contained within their bodies, minds and hearts, so that it all became one and seemed to mushroom, expanding to cover their world.
Before he had come to her bed, passion had been a deep ache in both of them, an intense need for sex that had little to do with hearts becoming one. Now, neither of them moved towards fulfilling that ache, for the ache and need to explore and learn of the other, to explore fully the tactile pleasures while inhaling their scents and filling their eyes with the tiniest details of the body of their love were far more imperative as the way of fulfilling their need to become one in all ways, while also treasuring the differences, the uniqueness of the other.
8019
Many men have loved and made tender love to little girls and many little girls have loved and made love with adult men. However deep their love, the body urges them to a coming together in a coupling that explores the mystery of the union between bodies and hearts. Whatever the ages or difference of ages, at the root of their love and their yearnings the fact of all of it being driven by the yearnings of male for female and the opposite remain eternally true. Robert and Cherine were no different in this respect from all of Mankind, but the flowering of minds in a joining and fusing that was unique to them, changed the balances of nature so that the exploring of mind and heart took precedence for a long time until finally their bodies were able to reassert themselves by the fire flowing through their veins.
Our sense of smell links us to our animal past. As Robert ran his fingers over every inch of her body in a caressing massage that also mapped within the unthinking part of his brain all the details that would imprint minutiae of her shapes on him forever, he was inhaling her scents and Cherine, surprised by what she felt and her lack of embarrassment, lay under his touch and the joy of his learning of her scents flooded her with a quivering pleasure that also came from her instincts of a distant past. Thus it was that the two of them, through the needs and instincts of love became more fully human than anyone is at any other time. It is probably why the time of loving and sex is the time we are closest to the god we happen to believe in, because that is when we are the nearest to being gods ourselves.
Once their touches became more urgent, the exchanges of soulful kisses not enough, Cherine was already quivering with her needs and as she came she yowled like a feral beast. She bit and scratched at Robert.
At the sound of the scream, Marian put down the book she was reading. Her instinctive reaction was that she should run to her daughter and attack the male touching her, but she knew by now that Cherine had not lied to her, had not indulged in childish fancies, that the two of them are fated to belong to each other. Sadness filled her that her daughter is taking on the burdens of love and sex this early, but she was also grateful that Robert had held back for two years, giving her daughter time to mature in mind and body a little. She put the book aside and lay staring off into nothing for a long time before she switched off the light.
For a time, Robert held Cherine to him possessively, indulging his senses with her scents, the slippery smoothness of her sweaty body and her childish heat. He discovered consciously, at last, that her shapes and size, they were intoxicating and drove him wild with desire. Cherine was not only quick to respond to his needs with passion, but initiated them just as often, so that he had to respond to her passion. They finally fell asleep just before dawn and slept most of the morning.
As it has been with most Cherines and Roberts, so it was with this Robert - only now did his real problems start. Cherine had sensed what sex is like from other couples and she thought that sex with Robert would be like the best of what she’d sensed, or maybe even better. She had no patience with his fears of hurting her and was not willing to wait until she is twelve years old as he asked of her. She hardly even hid from her mother that she is determined to have her way right now. Marian felt it was ironic that she should be sympathetic to what Robert is being put through and siding with him against her daughter, but she sensed it would not be wise of her to interfere.
Because they could both sense each other, love grew in both of them and that love acted as a catalyst, opening their minds to the other in deeper ways and Robert learnt that having the gift of empathy was not as wonderful as he’d thought. Cherine had to teach him to blanket out the misery of others so that he could bear to oversee his workers without feeling their pains and suffering to the point where he finds it impossible to ask of them a fair days’ work for their wages. She taught him how to block off the hundreds and thousands in the towns whose minds are clamouring for someone or something to save them, to help them from all that life and their own flawed characters have inflicted on them. Robert never became as proficient as Cherine at blocking off the pain of others, but he learnt enough to make life bearable. He did try to only go to town if Cherine is with to help him.
It was Cherine who realised she had to find a way for them to make love without his having to fear he’ll hurt her. She also saw that it was necessary they do make love so that she becomes a stronger shield for Robert. Four months from the night Robert first came to her bed she opened her mind to him as he slowly entered her body. He could sense if he hurt her and he was surprised to discover that, apart from tearing her hymen which was not as bad as he’d thought it would be, she mostly felt a discomfort from his size and that even that soon grew to become a source of sexual pleasure and excitement for her. Feeling how she felt when his penis was within her developed his awareness even further as he ached to feel her more clearly. They did not learn how to feel clearly the body sensations of the other, but they did learn how to interpret what the other was feeling in ways that contributed to and expanded their own sensations. Once Cherine was no longer a virgin, she felt that Robert truly was her man and she moved in with him, telling her mother that in all ways that matter he is her husband. Both Robert and Marian were uncomfortable with the situation for a long time, but neither challenged her.
8020
During the next two years, prices of food doubled. The bean farm was a success and made enough of a profit for Robert to start repaying his debt. He saw it as a debt while Nicko insisted it was an investment. Robert did not begrudge him his shares, but he insisted on paying back the capital at least. Cherine and Marian tried convincing Robert he was wrong, but they did not succeed. They were all surprised when Nicko announced he is flying out for a five day visit.
During the four years they had been with Robert, Marian did have an affair with a German working at a neighbouring farm, but his contract expired and she was not willing to leave Cherine behind to go with him and she knew she had no chance of convincing Cherine to leave. Hearing that Nicko was coming, she, and Cherine, asked Robert for details. He had a few pictures, but they were from the days both of them were still teenagers, so he only described Nicko and kept the photos hidden.
The impending visit of Nicko caused the first serious argument between Robert and Cherine. He did not relish the idea of Nicko finding out he is living (sexually) with a pre-teen. Flippantly she answered him, when he pointed out how bad it would look, that she would soon be thirteen so he could call her a teenager from now. Robert could almost see in his imagination Nicko telling his parents about him and Cherine, and he could imagine how they would feel. He argued and tried to explain about them being like parents to him and that he does not want to hurt them. That turned Cherine into a Chinese fireworks rocket, the kind that screams as it soars into the sky and then explodes in a big fiery ball. Only it was not quite as pretty for him.
Coldly she then said, “It was okay for me to have to face my mother with the truth, but it is not okay for you - even though they are not your real parents?”
“I was just as uncomfortable at Marian having to know that…”
“I did not ask how you felt! She is my mother and I was the one who cares about how she feels and what she thinks of me. I refused to be ashamed of my love for you, but you are ashamed of me!”
“I’m not ashamed of you, anyway it is not the same. It is considered shameful by the whole world when a man has sex with a child. They would not care that I love you, that would not excuse me in their eyes.”
“Excuse me! I did not even have any tits when I moved in with you. Do you think I was not also embarrassed? Do you think I did not know that I was hurting my mother?”
Marian had sensibly removed herself, going to her bedroom. It did not stop her hearing the argument, but she also realised that Robert would not thank her if she returned to speak in his favour. She also could not help grinning as she listened to Robert try to argue with Cherine, knowing that he is only digging himself deeper into a hole with every word.
Cherine stripped their bedroom of every evidence of her presence and slammed her bedroom door, refusing to answer Robert when he knocked. Her mother took her a tray, intending to sit with her, but Cherine took the tray at the door, telling her she wants to be alone.
Robert saw that he is going to have five days of hell with Nicko present and becoming aware that something is going on. Perhaps that is something that every Robert does for the first couple of years - they all tend to underestimate their Cherine.
Robert announced loudly that he is leaving to collect Nicko, but Cherine remained invisible. He met his friend and Nicko soon had him talking about Africa and what life is like for him in a country with traditions and customs so different. They even briefly touched on the subject of the food crisis that governments were still not acknowledging or planning to deal with. As they winded uphill through the coffee trees, shaded by beautiful tall trees, Nicko stared at the beauty rushing by. As they came out into the open, by the house, Nicko's breath caught as he suddenly saw the slope before him, the lake below with thousands of water lilies in bloom and the opposite sides of the crater, a good part of it still covered in natural forest.
“God, this is a paradise! You should turn your farm into a hotel! You’d certainly make a lot more money.” He then noticed the tight look on Robert's face at the same moment he noticed a woman and girl standing on the lawn, waiting for them.
A servant took his suitcase while Nicko was greeted and welcomed by both Marian and Cherine. It was immediately obvious that Nicko thought that Robert was having an affair with Marian. She had foreseen the possibility and decided she would not disillusion him if it helped smooth the visit for Robert.
I hope you enjoy reading this story of fantasy, adventure and love - and should some of it be true for our reality, I hope you will love our Cherine.
- posted: 16th Aug, 2020
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