As Kirsten became aware of herself, so did the different aspects that make her a personality. It could be the reason for her becoming self aware, her action to save us, forced forward what we consider the good aspects. However, Kirsten soon discovered she had an evil side to her. Not evil in our sophisticated sense, but in a childishly selfish and self-centered sense. To fight it she almost split herself into two.
“Not despised Samantha. I only sorrowed and despaired. You have truly seen deeply.”
“Why don’t you continue for me? Anything I say now would be pure guesswork.”
“Please?”
It was as if the two of us were alone and had forgotten the entire world was listening to us. She at least had Vincent holding her hand. I sat biting my lip as I attempted to puzzle my way though a maze.
“We’ll take a commercial break.”
Aganthi jumped to us with a mug of my coffee in her hand. I pulled her down by me and held to her hand. David looked worried. “Can you continue Samantha?”
I nodded. “As I speak for her I am forced into empathising, placing myself in her shoes. Despite my intentions when we came here, she is using me as her champion. She is not being manipulative or underhanded in any way, she just needs me to speak for her.”
The Chief of Police asked, “Am I to understand she did not kill anyone? What of the bodies and the gold?”
“I’ll get to that now, as soon as we are back on the air.”
“Kirsten realised that for as long as we were unaware of her existence, the control would swing between her and her other aspect, she needed us to help her become the same as our conscious minds. In desperation she tried to find a way to make herself known to us, especially once Arthur put in a physical appearance. The other aspect saw the danger in that, for it knew that we would favour her and it feared it would not be free to protect us in the way it wanted - for instance, in the way it tried to protect me from Arthur at the time it turned me against him. Kirsten had to find a way to trick it. Deliberately she began to brood on all the harms done to us and came up with a fitting revenge. She imagined pouring molten gold down the throats of those they kill. As she’d expected, the drama of her plan appealed to the other. Her imaginings weakened her and she lost control, despite Arthur ridding it of much of its power. Once she was in the background, she used her powers to invent a scenario and create a body, making a game of it that she knew would appeal to her other half. Remember, whatever Robert and we know, so do both of them.
To give an example, the father who stopped for his son, she was the father while the other willingly played her game and became the son. She was killed while still playing her role so when she was found in the void, she spoke as the murdered man. We had no reason to search deeper and Robert created a body for her again. She hid the body, keeping it alive. When the other needed another victim, she returned to the body and projected so that she seemed to be a different victim. That explains why she only brought me an ingot, not even the other half of her would want to kill me, not even during the game it thought it was playing.” I paused, puzzled by a thought. “Kirsten, how did you succeed in using the personae of a Cherinian? Robert entered your mind, he should have seen the real you.”
“That was my hope, for I could not openly speak of who I am, I would have betrayed the fact that I was not playing a game. I would have been attacked and could have lost myself within it. I despaired when Robert did not look deeper, that is why I responded to you.”
Instantly she was before me, her hands on my knees as she knelt before me, her face pleading. “Thanks to you I have a life of my own and Vincent to love. Please do not apologise.”
I could not help wondering. “What about us? Don’t we have a gestalt sub mind anymore? How will that affect us?”
“A new one will grow. This time Vincent and I will help so that it is healthier.”
Tears fell as I laughed. “And every hundred years it will grow into another Kirsten?”
“Only if you wish it. Would it not be of more use as I was when I helped Robert and Cherine? A direct path to your powers, until you learn to use the path yourselves?”
“I meant, another person as rare and beautiful as you, I was awed by the thought.” I giggled. “How would we find her another Vincent?”
The basics had been explained, but our show hosts and the Chief of Police and the Prosecutor spent another hour and a half asking for more detailed explanations so that they and the public would understand. Once we were off air, Kirsten was reassured there will be no charges and no trial. I confirmed to her and Vincent that the Council do not need to meet. Aganthi left my side as Kirsten was almost staggering, emotions having drained her. With Vincent holding Kirsten on the other side, she was taken to Freddie.
We are not spending much time in our Athens home as we are too enamoured of Kirsten and want to spend whatever time she and Vincent can spare, with them. Cherine had linked Vincent and when Kirsten accepted that we wanted her, as she opened her link to us, so did he. All Cherinians are keeping their joy private, just for sharing amongst us, for we do not want to fuel the fears of Normals. Alternate Cherinians, including the Teller families are jumping to Freddie to visit our celebrity couple.
isi had changed to a Terran and was spending her day with us. She and Syrina were chatting as they shared with us our pleasure of sensing the emoting of Kirsten and Vincent. isi said to her friend and sister, “When I tell new species we meet that they must be glad they fought Robert as it will make them special to him, you all laugh at me. Now we have a Cherinian who joined us because she kept on killing herself. Syrina, why don’t you write a guide book for people to know what you expect of them if they want to be linked?” She pretended to be miffed by our laughter and teasing, but she can never remain serious when Syrina laughs.
By the way, Robbie has admitted that he feels stupid. He’d sensed there was something familiar about the script used by Kirsten. Close examination has proved it is the hand of Jade that wrote - Kirsten sharing Jade’s talent directly. Kirsten has also told us that Michael and Dimi peripherally also contributed to her existence and it has filled us with joy learning that they are so much a part of us.
We felt enough magic has entered our lives and wanted no more surprises for a while. Life hardly ever is that accommodating. Lynda, Angelica, Orshiir and Coral strayed alongside the river with Kirsten, their light-hearted chatter and teasing bonding them to Kirsten. To amuse herself, Angelica spun a fun spell and lights formed an arch of colours over them. Suddenly Angelica gasped with shock. The arch was changing without her willing it. Within the arch, colours raced to the end of the arch on their right. Their eyes followed the racing lights and they saw something black. As they went closer, they saw it was a cast iron pot with three little legs. The legs were shaped as ours are, but facing sideways, and they ran, the pot spinning around itself as they did. Angelica insisted everyone wait while she goes closer to investigate. Her laughter drew us all to them. The pot was full of gold coins.
Shyly, but laughing inside herself, she asked, “Corny is bad?”
“Not when you are, love, just when Robert is.”
Robbie grinned, but when they returned, he asked, “I’ve been wondering Vincent, what would happen if I merged you back within myself? Would Kirsten love me then?”
“I don’t think you’d care if she did, I’d give you such a bad case of mental indigestion your only concern would be how you can set me loose again as quickly as possible.”
Robbie bowed his head to her, a tiny up-curl to his lips. “It would be worth it to feel your love for a short while. I really don’t understand why you loved him instead of me - it is not as if he was created out of the best parts of me.”
She looked into Vincent’s eyes a moment. “But that is exactly why he is worth loving. Despite beginning at such a disadvantage, he has grown into the most wonderful man in the whole universe.” We all cheered her and Robbie taking her hand kissed it.
Angelica was still pale around her eyes. “None of you have realised what has happened! She can do magic!”
“That is true?” Robbie asked.
“Am I not from a part of her also?”
Angelica frowned. “That’s scary, I must ask Christós!”
Cherine put her arm around her. “Why is it scary love?”
“It means our subconscious has the powers and gifts we have. If mine can do magic, how do I stop it?” None of us know enough to answer her, but I don’t think it is the problem she imagines it could become. I wonder, if she wanted to, could she concentrate on making it a problem, and thus make it so?
The next day Vincent and Kirsten arrived and they had changed. Some new fountain of joy and love had sprung into existence within both of them. If we had thought their joy and love was complete before, the previous lack could not be defined, only the change noted and appreciated for the miracle love always is. Excited, thinking Kirsten was already expecting, we waited with baited breath for them to tell us. Vincent sat opposite Robbie and with a smile of bliss raised his arms. A powder of scintillating lights, I’ll be prosaic and call it fairy dust, sprinkled from his arms and covered Robbie. He gave a laugh of pure delight.
“We have found true happiness and the perfect love Robert. We have each seen in the other that our primary devotion and loyalty remains as it should be, to our family. Our loving each other has not excluded any of you and has only strengthened our feelings for all of you. Cherine, prime and light of our hearts, can you feel how our love of all of you releases and yet enhances our love for each other?”
“I had hoped your love for Kirsten had freed you of us Vincent.”
“How could it, is she not a part of all of you? In return, I do not serve her as well as she does me, for I am only a part of Robert - but what you think of as my compulsion makes it easier for Kirsten to bear what I am. You wish me to be freed of love for you? Which other of your family would you make such a wish for?”
“Is he not under the same compulsion? Are not each of you? Wish for us whatever you wish for yourselves Cherine.”
Empathia asked, “Why would you feel such a compulsion Kirsten, you come from our subconscious, you were not created for the same purpose as Vincent.”
“What is the prime compulsion of you subconscious? Is it not survival? If it also includes the survival of your family, does that not only strengthen my compulsion? Vincent taught me how the part I considered evil is a part of me that needs me to guide it so that we are one entity.”
Jade mumbled, “What a weird family we are. I’m glad I’m part of it.”
I gave them a few minutes to enjoy their feelings and then asked. “Vincent, if one of us is in mortal danger and so is Kirsten and you can only save one of us, who would you save?”
“Both of us would demand I save you.”
“That is not right!”
“Is it not Samantha? Where does your ultimate loyalty lie, with the Cherinians or the Normals?”
The easy answer was on the tip of my tongue but I gave it some thought and answered, “To the Normals.”
My family, even Robbie, were shocked and dismayed by my reply. Vincent spoke to them, “Give it the same deep thought Samantha did before deciding for yourselves.”
“My first loyalty is to my family.” Cherine declared, eyes fixed on Robbie. Vincent did not answer her.
As we stood up to leave for home, Vincent told us, “I’m taking Kirsten to the Seychelles for our honeymoon.”
“Oh no you don’t!” Latreia called. “We first get pappou to marry the two of you. Kirsten, has he proposed?”
“Every second his heart does, I have no need of words.”
Cassie laughed. “That proves she does not come from us, we’ve been bamboozled.”
The entire world was excited by our announcement of their planned wedding to be on the 13th of October PC36. The clamour for them to be married on Earth was overwhelming. It was only now that people came forward to tell their stories, despite Vincent asking they keep them secret. With all the powers he has, what did he do to earn their love? He only did what every Normal can do. He visited homes where he sensed fear, pain of the heart or despair. He announced himself simply and telling them he came as a friend, he spent hours or days with them, helping them change their lives for the better. His simple philosophies were not new, but the fact that it was Vincent, the Protector of Cherine, taking the time and showing he cared, that was the major healing influence. And here it is that I’ve spent decades wondering where he disappears to and imagining all kinds of exotic locations. If I look at it from the right perspective, what more exotic location than the homes of simple people could he have chosen?
What a long paragraph just to say that we suddenly realised how private a person Vincent is. We looked back and saw that apart from a few arguments with Robbie, he never expressed his views, never made suggestions to do with our personal life and never discussed his feelings. It became obvious because of the sudden change and his willingness to spend hours telling us how wonderful Kirsten is and how much he loves her. He excuses himself in a sort of abashed manner by explaining he’d never expected to fall in love.
Italians will willingly spend hours expounding on how wonderful women are, so after a visit to Freddie by Sylvestro, the two of them became closer than ever before. They mostly meet in Freddie, but Vincent also enjoys going to his village where they share a carafe of wine and talk for hours. We all thought he was crazy to be spending so much time with Sylvestro and apart from Kirsten. We also worried why she spent so much time lying on her bed every day, fast asleep as far as we could sense. I would not have written about the above if we had not learnt today why she sleeps so many hours. She enters a world she has created in her mind (something like the one my Hesina lives in, not anything like those of Meli), where she spends hours at a school. The school and world she created is for the part of her that still has baser instincts than she does. She is trying to teach her how and why she should become more like her.
I asked whether I could visit or share from her and she shared. Her pupil lives there as a five year old and Kirsten ensures she has company all the time. She even allows Vincent to visit her so that the child will grow to love him just as she does. She is hoping that once the worst in her has been re-educated she can entirely re-assimilate her. I warned her she could just as easily end up with another Kirsten wanting to live her own life. Tears filled her eyes and she told me she hopes not as she needs her. She is too vulnerable and soft without the other half of her.
Although the British government were the hosts, organising something like this needs a lot of input from our side and there was a lot to discuss and agree to. I was wearing one of the latest computers from Keith that looks like jewellery on my arm. I’d dictate notes, it would pass them on to Robbie, Hettie and any other Cherinian officials that had to be kept informed, and they’d reply the same way. Keith was right, using a computer this way is faster than telepathy. There is no way I could have sent the messages to so many people at the same time. One of the biggest problems the organisers had to cope with is timing everything to perfection since the wedding will be shown worldwide. I admit I was impressed by how smoothly they dealt with problems. On the other hand, it seems that many of such professionals take pride in how rude they can be. None of them tried it with me, so I kept my mouth shut.
I leant against Robbie. “I’ll tell you something. I’m a Cherinian and I’m exhausted, I don’t understand how the Normals put up with such a schedule!”
“Welcome to the real world princess.” Robbie grinned and I weakly swung my hand to hit his arm. I missed and he laughed.
I was still irritated and projected from my wrist computer onto the big screen the designs I’d been handed. The girls fell silent as they stared at the drawings, each identifying themselves. “They ordered me to inform you that the dresses will arrive tomorrow with fitters to teach us how to wear these monstrosities and to check they fit us. They only have twelve hours to make any alterations. I feel like asking Freddie to jump us to another reality for eleven hours so that we can dress as we want.”
Dommi zoomed in on a few of the dresses. “They’re not that bad Sam and they must have cost a fortune. We’ll have to wear them. I’m certain they are designed to fit in with everyone else to make this a spectacle everybody will remember.”
“Spectacle is the right word. I’m not wearing that lavender ball of fluff.”
She grinned. “Maybe someone there doesn’t like you - yours is the only dress that does not suit any of us, ours are beautiful.”
Desperate I turned to Angelica. “Angel love, can you do anything with it?”
“Hmm. What if I fit butterfly wings to it?” The girls screamed with laughter and begged her to do it. The good thing about our Angel is that she gets caught up in what she’s doing and forgets she was making a joke. She took pencil and paper and started playing around with the original design. Feeling much happier than I had for hours, I relaxed and joined in the teasing.
So that Greece would be included, bride and groom jumped to our Athens home. From there, they were collected in limousines by the Minister of Culture and with police escort were driven to the airport. A private stratoliner took off with them, escorted by six EU Air Force fighters. Within a short time they landed to an official welcome. They were escorted though customs and immigration without showing any papers and swiftly bundled into bombproof luxury vehicles as a ring of armed men watched outwards.
Dommi warned us we only have three hours to get ready so we went to have a shower and get dressed. A number of Cherinian women were waiting for us once we’d dressed and they made up our faces so that we would look good on television without appearing over made up in real life. Our hair was teased and coaxed into outlandish styles that we were told all the women would envy. I suffered through it silently because Angel had performed a miracle and I loved the dress I was wearing, but I did not feel like a woman, I felt more like a doll prepared for display. Tserika: Sam is the only one who feels this way - if she really does. We loved all of it.
From the moment we left for London, one of us took a separate route. She will not be sitting with us. she will be with the two royal families. Gina, who everybody refers to by her other reality name, sat next to ‘her’ king and he was as friendly as ever and kept muttering humorous asides that she shared with us. We could sense Alki at the back of the church muttering in disgust as he was fitted with a robe heavy with gold and jewels. Nothing garish, maybe even elegant, but not his style. I sent a question to Robbie and he responded by communicating directly with Alki. To the horror of those helping him dress, Alki used his gift to project the robe into a simple white robe with a minimum of decorations. Happier now, he sent us a smile.
In all important aspects, the wedding was a typical Cherinian wedding with vows created by the bride and groom. Everyone was excited and very pleased to hear them include in their vows to each other a promise to stand together as protectors of Cherine, our family, all Cherinians and Normals and any sapient life still to be discovered.
After the bride and groom danced the first waltz we all joined in, happily obliged by a stream of men who saw to it that we barely had ten minutes to ourselves the entire night. When the couple were about to leave, Robbie took Goldi’s hand in his and went to them. “Go to the Seychelles as you planned for a week. After that we have something special planned for the two of you. Goldi love, would you like to tell them?”
“I was hoping you would like to go to Goldi Planet.”
Robbie kissed Kirsten’s cheek and hugged Vincent. “Stay there a month and relax. You can return within the hour so forget about us for a while, we’ll be safe.”
They went out into the street that was still filled with crowds and as they rose into the sky the crowds screamed them their good wishes. That night was one of those rare nights that we lay on our beds, cuddled with someone and went straight to sleep.
I will not spend much more time on describing his arguments nor in arguing against them. The only reason I have entered them at all, is because I hope this diary will serve to guide our descendants in the distant future. We are aware there is the possibility Cherinians might forget the teachings of Robert and decide that the definition of human equals the definition of Cherinian and that Normals should no longer be considered humans. It might give them reason to pause for thought when they read that Normals of our time had the same attitudes as them - and I hope they are wise enough to see for themselves that they are both wrong. I am not a human because I am a Cherinian - I am a Cherinian because I am a human.
I am just a human who struck it lucky that Cherine and Robert were born, loved and linked at a time that I could join them and become a Cherinian. Neither I, nor my soul, are Cherinian because of some intrinsic value that sets me any higher than any other human.
As an interesting side issue that I did not write of at the time, but that I know would fascinate Arthur, a Unation/Inguel/Anadir and Terran group of scientists jointly announced that writing does not secernate (mark as different) sapience from sentience. Writing does not only exist in the forms we Terrans are used to, there are chemical forms of writing, writing by colours and primitive squiggles that are limited in scope, but provide information or instructions. They have found writing of one kind or another within insect nests, for example, symbolising or denoting an area as a nursery or a passage that leads to their queen. They are now examining animals and the markings they leave to mark their territory and possible warnings of dangers and of sexual advertising. They are not all in agreement whether dancing should be considered a form of writing - as for instance the dancing of bees for creating a map of directions for other bees of their hive to find pollen. It seems the more we come to understand the animal and plant kingdoms, the more tenuous become the definitions that separate us from them.
The days, weeks and so on go by with business taken care of daily, social relationships swing up and down, we travel, celebrate the existence of each other in the standard ways and with our own family traditions that have evolved without us really noticing. I start to feel guilty that I am not writing, tell myself I should, decide there is little or nothing to say, so I promise myself to do so at the first excuse of an interesting event. Four months have passed and it is the end of January, a cold and miserable month in Athens, but just perfect for our visit in South Africa.
With part of our family living here we enjoy spending time in this country, despite the changes for the worse. More than half of the private game parks have been handed over to the local tribes. They do not need it for farming as they have food machines and yet, traditions die hard. The land lies fallow, mostly dry grass and thorny bush with a few cows and sheep, but the wild animals are all gone in those areas. The few game parks still operating belong to the government and are now charging exorbitant fees and you have to book a year or two in advance.
“I read about them when I was a teenager and I was revolted by the idea of any society killing their babies if they were not perfectly formed.”
“Do the Masai do so?”
“I don’t know. If they did, I doubt they do so anymore.”
“I only asked because I’ve never seen a Masai child that is deformed. As for the Spartans, it is not fair to judge them according to our social mores. They lived in a far more primitive world and did not believe they should allow their nation to be weakened.”
“I know the why Haven, I just don’t like it. The Athenians didn’t and they lived in the same world.”
“And when the Persians attacked, it was the Spartans who had to save them. I doubt their fine theories would have saved them if the Spartans hadn’t. I do not advocate culling as a method for strengthening a nation or species, but I do understand what led them to thinking the way they did. No other nation is famous for their mothers telling their sons as they leave for battle that they must not return alive if they have wounds on their backs. To prefer your son to be returned lying on a shield, dead, rather than allow him to retreat from battle if the odds are overwhelming, that takes a hard courage.”
“Would you tell your son the same?”
“Michael and Dimi? No, the times have changed, but I would feel shamed if they acted in a cowardly manner.” She sent to Maria for a cold drink and a beer. They sat outside to drink. “Today a warrior is not just a person who is brave in war. We each have responsibilities to all of humanity and to the planets that give life. If we do not accept our responsibility for any reason, especially out of selfishness, that is a terrible cowardice.”
David made a horrible mistake that was to change his life. Thinking to tease and perhaps expecting a polite answer, he asked, “Am I a warrior?”
Politely he tried to reassure her, but they did not jump back to the taverna, walking the three kilometres with him lost in his thoughts. As they drew close to us he touched her arm and stopped. “Haven, do you know of any women like you?”
“You mean Normals? Oh, you mean unmarried and hopefully attractive.”
He actually laughed. “Attractive would be nice, but I’m not obsessed by beauty.”
“You want to marry?”
“Either that or to know to keep far away from her. A woman like you, as my wife, would drastically change my life and I’m not certain I’m ready for that.”
She hardened her heart. “If I was not in love and married and met a man like you, I could never love him, not even if the chemical thing happened and I fell in love. For me to be who I am, I must respect myself. How could I, if I marry a man I don’t respect?”
“God! You definitely are a Spartan!” Haven was too immersed in trying to sense if I or any of us were angry with her, to respond to him. I sent her a smile and she relaxed and then decided he’d given her the best kind of compliment and her face lit up.
“Thank you.” We all burst out laughing at the look on his face.
After our meal, while he sipped his cappuccino, he spoke to Haven. “A warrior is a person who uses whatever weapons he has, they do not have to be guns or influential power?” She nodded. “Can I use money as a weapon?” She nodded again, her face pale now. “I’m worth a couple of billion dollars. I do not need all of it, so I’ll devote a large slice of it for helping those in need. Haven, they must be practical projects that help solve the problem, not just the symptoms. Would you help me by choosing the projects?” He explained to her that his station will probably want him to include news about the projects or even give him a second show, so he might end up making more money for her to spend.
There disappears another special friend of mine. Now the two of them meet whenever he’s free and as she has come to know the deeper side of David, she has come to like him a great deal. At the moment, he admires her more than he likes her, but that is bound to change.
Because Chara lives on a farm and she does not like doing her shopping in bulk, she has to go to the shops instead of ordering via the web. I was visiting and she asked me whether I’d like to accompany her or would I prefer to take a walk around the vineyard. With a grin I projected myself as a man of over fifty, just enough like Allan in appearance (as he was when we first met him) to make me a boring face in the crowd, ensuring my privacy, and went to her car. Any other kind of projection usually leads to people recognising me as a Cherinian and I don’t get any privacy.
Privacy is not only being left alone, it is also not being noticed so that I’m not constantly monitoring myself. After the first shop, I let her continue on her own. I found what used to be a video shop, and after buying a book for my wrist computer, I installed it and went to a coffee shop. I opened the reading sheet and as I enjoyed my avocado and bacon sandwich, I read. An hour later the shop filled up for lunch customers and a man, also of about fifty, asked if he can share my table. I put down my sheet to answer and then ordered another cappuccino with a slice of pecan pie.
“Do you live here? The countryside is beautiful.”
“No, I’m visiting. And you?”
“I’m from Vereeniging, I work at a mine. Forty years and still going strong.”
