“No. I killed her.” She heard herself, but was too filled with guilt to care anymore. “I was angry because she said I cannot see you again.”
“I hurt her in her mind, bad.”
Robert pulled over a chair and sat down heavily, never taking his eyes from hers. “How did you do it?”
“I…I can.”
“Can you do it to anybody…me for instance?”
“No. I must be very angry.”
“And afraid?” She nodded. “Tell me what else you can do.”
“No, you’ll hate me.”
“Cross my heart and hope to die, I swear I’ll never hate you. Are you saying you have an extrasensory talent?”
“What’s that?”
“Can you do things with your mind other people can’t?”
Very softly she whispered her answer, “Yes.”
“But that’s brilliant! God, I can hardly believe it, can you show me?”
Surprised she reached out and felt his excitement is real. She gained courage from it and fearfully asked, “What do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know.” He laughed. “I don’t know what it is you can do.”
“I can feel you. I can feel everyone. Sometimes I can make them feel what I want. Especially if they are hurting.”
“Jesus!” He paused, trying to bring some order back to his mind. “Can you feel that I love you?” She nodded. “I wish I could feel you, I can only hope you love me.”
She tried hard, but that was not the nature of her gift at this stage, he had to open a little for her talents to grow. With tears running down her cheeks she told him, “I don’t know how to make you feel me, it feels like there is a wall that stops me.”
He pulled her into his arms. “Now is not the time, I was being very insensitive, you’ve just had a bad shock. Shall we go to bed? We can talk tomorrow - if you want. Okay?” They gathered some clothes of hers, her toothbrush and paste and hand in hand they walked down to his rooms.
He helped her put on her nightie, sent her to the bathroom and then tucked her up in his bed. He sat by her side. “Cherine, it has been my dream to find someone who has real gifts of the mind. Don’t be afraid of telling me, I’ll never tell anyone else. It will be our secret.” He kissed her nose. “Now go to sleep.”
“I want you to hold me please, like my daddy used to.”
He’d been planning to sleep on the couch, but her appeal changed his mind. He did not get much sleep. She cuddled up to him and once she was asleep she pushed one of her legs between his. He was not really sexually excited, but beneath the tenderness and love there were faint stirrings that he refused to acknowledge.
Thereafter I tried to avoid peeping in on them whenever I sensed some small step was being taken in the direction of discovering their sexuality. It did feel stranger for him than it had for me, for he was still a virgin and knew next to nothing about the female body - only what he’d read and seen in porno movies.
When they got up and had breakfast, Alki turned up and drove them to the clinic. They reported that she was in a coma and it could be hours, days or weeks before she wakes up. Because Cherine did not show any emotion they never suspected she was Marian’s daughter.
Alki ordered cold drinks for all of them. “Is Cherine staying with you?”
“For now.”
“That’s a good idea, she must have suffered a shock and she needs to be with someone she feels close to.” He didn’t like what I asked him to say, but he tried to smile as he added, “Just don’t elope. I’d be terrified of having to tell her mother.”
The idea was to plant the suggestions in Cherine’s mind; she’d take care of influencing Roberts’.
Over the days they drew closer and gradually Robert began to sense her after she’d swirled their emotions a number of times. I’d thought he was even more prudish and old fashioned than I was, but it turned out he seems to be more broadminded and accepted what was happening in bed with less guilt, only remaining vigilant and very careful not to hurt her.
Cherine blossomed. She teased him mercilessly and gloried in getting the better of him. She opened up and spoke of all that had hurt her in her past and his loving answers or the arms around her helped to rob those memories of the pain she’d felt. He became the center of her world and her feelings dragged him along until he could not imagine a second without her at his side. He’d take her to school and sit the morning at a café close by so as to feel he was near her. His work suffered, but Alki kept quiet, reassuring Robert when he apologised. He explained he understood Robert had to spend hours each day looking after Cherine.
“You must not think you are the only one who loves her Roberto.” He pulled at her chin. “Do you feel how much I love you?”
“Yes, and I love you lots.”
“I’ll tell you what, if you get tired of him, just let me know and you can come to live with me.” He burst out laughing when I sent to him the sudden fears of Robert as he reacted to his teasing. It did his self esteem a lot of good. “Cherine, I think Roberto is like a daddy to you. Could I be like a grandfather? Will you call me pappou?”
The way they were growing, their love was deepening, but their gifts were not, because Robert was not. They needed to be put under pressure again. It was time to wake up Marian.
I decided I should take a shortcut. She needed to be forced to confront her shortcomings so that she can become the woman Alki can fall in love with. I entered her mind as an angel.
I folded my wings as I landed before her. She had not moved at all, apart from following my progress as I descended.
“Marian, mother of Cherine, you are blessed. Your daughter was sent to you for a purpose. She is not a normal child, her heart has the gift of empathy and one day she will help heal all of mankind. There will not be one child that cries out of hunger, not one man, woman or child who has to suffer sickness.
I cheated a little, adding from the sliver of my Cherine. She bowed her head, tears coursing down her cheeks as she felt the love of her child. I waited for her to look up at me again.
“Marian, do you remember the days when you could love like that? Why have you allowed your heart to harden?”
“I don’t know - I was afraid.”
“Afraid that you would be hurt because you would not be loved? Is that how you want your daughter to become?”
“No.”
“Then you must change. Marian, part of the process of hardening yourself is the denial of responsibility when things go wrong in your relationships. I ask that you spend some time thinking back to your marriage and this time accept responsibility for whatever you did that forced your ex husband to stop loving you.
I will tell you one thing about your future. If you do as I say and become the mother and woman you were born to be, there is one man you will spend centuries with and he will never stop loving you. Would you like to love?”
“Yes.” She looked at me with tears in her eyes. “How can anyone love me like that?”
“He already does, he has held back because until this moment you have only thought of how you could take advantage of him. Can you see how your own hardness robs you of all you yearn for?
I will return to help you leave this place as soon as I know you are ready.”
I watched her for days and was amazed once more at how the mind tries to defend itself. She’d try to confront the past and her own faults, but she continued to justify all she’d said and done, despite her desperate wish to change. In the end I was forced to conjure scenes from her past for her to watch and created an image of herself as a little girl. Her younger self talked, cried and forced her to admit her own responsibilities. The day her younger self was able to hug her because she had changed, I reappeared as the angel.
“Before we return, there are some things you need to know. Marian, your daughter and Robert do not know what I am about to tell you and you must keep the information to yourself so that they grow at their own pace.”
I explained their relationship and how their closeness is opening both their minds. I told her that the day they learn how to contact their healer is the day they will stop dying. I told her about the void, about the effect it will have on the two of them. I accompanied whatever I told her with images and feelings. She was shattered, but also in awe of her daughter.
“When you awake in your body, Cherine will need your forgiveness. Just show her how much you love her and promise her you will never try to separate them again. Marian, trust Alki, he is as a grandfather to them, his savvy, money and influence will help protect them while they are vulnerable, but just as important is the love they feel from him. He is their rock. You can also mean as much to them if you are willing to give of yourself without demanding anything in return. Would you like to return home now?”
“What are you going to do now? Will you tell them who you are?”
“Theé mou!”
I jumped to the beach in Cyprus and walked, allowing him the time he needed alone.
Marian came out of her experience a changed woman. Unlike my Marian, she encouraged Cherine to love Robert and even arranged for her to spend one night a week with him. It was not long before Alki asked her out and she tried to find what the angel had told her about him in him and she did. As his feelings became more apparent she blossomed and gave of her heart freely.
I’d given them an extra two months, but my own yearnings for my family finally overcame me. “Alki, can you invite all of them to your house tonight?”
He paled. “You are going to tell them tonight?”
“Yes. I cannot bear being away from my family anymore.”
Cherine, Robert, Marian, Nicko, Elia and Claire sat at the dining table making small talk while trying to hide their curiosity about me. Cherine tried sensing me, but I blocked her, making her gasp in shock. I was wearing my own face, just older, but the relationship between Robert and I was obvious. The others thought I was an uncle or maybe even his father. We finished our meal and moved to the lounge.
The others sat while I remained on my feet. “Cherine, I am here because I need your help. Before I ask for it, let me explain in the only way you’ll understand, I’ve opened myself to you, feel me.”
The others stared at her face, falling in love with her all over again as it reflected the love she felt in me for my Cherine and for her. She looked up at me and I sensed the danger of her falling in love with me.
“What you felt, it is the love I feel for my Cherine. I too am a Robert. You could have grown so that you would sense the same in your Robert if you’d gone to the void. Allow me to tell you what it was like for my Cherine and I when we first loved.” The others only heard our story, Cherine shared directly my emoting.
“Cherine, I think this is a good time for you to create a golden circle of love so that all your Cherinians have a clearer picture of what it means to be a Cherinian.” I guided her as she started but she soon got the hang of it and had us all floating in a cloud of love. When she stopped, I found my cheeks were wet with tears.
I turned to Robert. “You are the only Robert I’ve met who does not seem to have the overwhelming need to protect his Cherine. It could be that you have to feel she is in danger for the need to explode within you. Tell me, how do you feel about her growing old and dying?”
He spread his hands, “What can I do about it?”
“How old do you think I am?”
“About forty five?”
“Add a hundred.”
“What!” That shook them all.
“How do you do it?”
“The idea of my little Cherine being hurt, dying or ageing, they were a horror I could not face. Desperate to prevent her being hurt I searched inside me and found a gift that we call the healer. All humans have a healer. Close your eyes and try to find it.”
While he did I spoke directly into Cherine’s mind. Reluctantly she agreed.
“I can’t sense anything.”
My voice was harsh. “Then you don’t deserve a Cherine.” I drew on my energy and slashed at her. Blood spurted and with a scream of pain she fainted. Robert attacked me in a fury.
“Am I more important than Cherine? Why aren’t you trying to save her. Bah! As I said, you are not a real Robert.” I turned away from him with obvious contempt. He froze for a moment and joined Marian as she held her daughter to her.
I entered his mind as he desperately called for his healer and surreptitiously helping him I guided him to the door he had to open. When he succeeded, he screamed with joy as he sent it into his Cherine. His poor healer was puzzled as it could not find anything wrong with her. When Cherine sat up with all the blood gone and the wound a quickly fading scar, I spoke again. “This is the last I have to offer and then you’ll have to manage the rest on your own. All of you, close your eyes and gently wish yourself to come with me when you hear me call.”
I first secured them in my energy and then returned to help Elia. I entered his mind, made him aware of me and enfolding him I took him to the void. I taught them the little they needed to learn and soon they were dancing with each other and exchange kissing. Those who grew too close I parted and then ordered them to return to their bodies.
“So Alki, have I lied?”
He was trembling. “I never thought you had.”
I grinned. “When I hurt Cherine you had your doubts. I thought for a moment that you were about to attack me.”
“It was a terrible thing to see Roberto.” That’s one of the things I love about all Alki’s, not one makes excuses to justify themselves by even a white lie.
“You all need to be alone. Robert, before they leave, order your healer to take care of any urgent health problems Elia and Claire might suffer from. You can let it do a more thorough job tomorrow. Don’t worry about Alki, I’ve taken care of his problems.
Kyrie Elia kai Kyria Claire, please keep in mind that the lives of this young couple depend on you keeping what you learnt a secret. When they are strong enough they’ll find the right time to announce themselves.
Alki, if I may, I suggest you take Marian out or let her stay here with you for a while. The effects of going to the void will make her suffer if she remains on her own.
Cherine, Robert, we have a lot to talk about tomorrow so don’t make any other plans. When you are ready I’ll ask you to help me also.”
She was frightened. “What could I do to help you?”
“I’ve been damaged, so I can’t get back home, I’ll need you to take me. I’ll teach you how tomorrow. Robert,” I drew him aside and whispered so as not to embarrass him, “your little Cherine will need some urgent loving tonight, she’s going to blow your mind and maybe she’ll try to force you to penetrate her. She is not ready, refuse.”
The next morning I entered the kitchen to find Alki and Marian, in dressing gowns, having coffee as they talked. She grinned as I walked in. “You are positively evil! Thanks to you I’ve been rushing to church every day, trying my best to remain pious in my thoughts all day. I really believed you were an angel.”
“Are you saying I’m not?” Alki laughed and I frowned at him before also laughing. I made a cup of coffee and sat by them.
“I can’t do a telling like my girls do, but I do have memories of them doing so. I intend allowing Cherine and Robert to experience one. I’ve invited Nicko, but not his parents. Would the two of you like to join us? Alki, I’m asking because I checked today, Wendy exists and she is dying.”
“Christé mou! Are they ready for her?”
“I don’t know what to do. They should have their Dominique first, Wendy will need her. That’s why I called Nicko.”
“If Cherine can take you home, can’t she first help you return to Dominique? Roberto, what will you tell her parents, they will not want her living with Robert.”
“She must first want to and then we cross that bridge. Perhaps I should go home and leave that problem for you to handle.” Marian wanted to know what we were talking about, so I let Alki explain. I thought she was going to faint.
Cherine was the first to recover. “I want my Dommi! I love her.” I nodded. “Why haven’t I met her?”
“You’ll have to help me return in time love. Your Dommi died when she was twelve. Will you mind having a younger Dommi?” Nicko sat frozen, his eyes filling as he heard us. “Nicko, will you also fight Robert if your sister loves him?”
“Just bring her back for us Robert, I’ll do anything you want for that.”
“I’ll see all of you tomorrow, I have an urgent job to take care of.”
I went to where Wendy was living with her father. I avoided looking at him as I was trying to control my temper. I sent my healer into her, ordering it leaves all outer and non life threatening abuse as is, only doing what is needed to ensure she survives a month or so. It took hours and I’m certain it disobeyed me, but I did not blame it, after all, even my healer loves my Wendy.
We did not give her parents advance knowledge of what we planned. I intended that Dominique spend a couple of days alone with Cherine and Robert. Nicko would be present at her arrival so she would feel comfortable.
I looked in Nicko’s mind (with his permission) for the exact time and place and then showed Robert and Cherine how to fix on a time and place. I became the void, collected their souls and asked them to jump us. I think the fact that our bodies were linked to us held us in the same reality, but we arrived eleven days early. I did not want them to become afraid so I told them I’d sort of half expected it. I taught Robert how to connect a soul to its new body, making him go through it again and again until I was confident he would succeed. We spent some of the time with me helping them open new doors and I took them on a tour of their solar system. Hours before Dominique was to die we collected cells and the instant her soul arrived in the void we enclosed her within our energy and love. I held back, mostly allowing her to feel her future wife and husband. As I’d ordered, we jumped forward in time to a month before we’d left.
The three of them returned to the void in the present and left. I returned to Earth, saw the body of Dominique and returned to my body. Sweet Cherine did not know what to do. She felt like crying from relief that I’d made it back, but she had to concentrate on her Dominique.
“Dominaki mou, you have to stay here for a couple of days while I get our parents used to the idea that they managed to bring you back. They are older than you remember them and could have a heart attack if you appear suddenly.”
We had no intention of preparing them. Their shocked faces, their unbelieving delight belongs to Dominique, a memory that will always remind her of how much she is loved. Since they cannot die, it will not cause a problem. It was slightly cruel of us, but I felt it was for a good cause.
All worked out as I’d planned. Dominique, because of sensing her as a soul and the exchange kissing, quickly bonded. Cherine was inundating her with their love so she did not really have a chance. She will not love them as lovers for a while, but once she links and goes to the void, it will happen. Cherine told me they’ve decided to wait for Wendy before forming their Kaleidoscope World.
Cherine is very loving with me, sensing when I miss my loves the most and she’ll sit on my lap and fill me with love until she feels I can handle my loneliness. She has become one of my favourite Cherines and I’ll even admit to liking this Robert more than I’d expected. He carries less of the emotional baggage I did at his age and is nice to everyone.
Now came the time I dreaded. I could not take Richard to the penal colony and I did not dare allow him to remain alive. As long as he is alive he will be a danger to all of them. Since he is also suffering with Aids, there is little point to my trying to find a way to let him stay alive. It meant I had to kill him. This time at least he will be reborn.
I’d had a lengthy monologue with my healer so it understood why it had to kill him. It did so mercifully without too much pain. I met him in the void and did what I could to minimise his suffering as he was sent to be reborn and then hurried back for my healer to concentrate on helping Robert’s healer with Wendy. I sat alone at a bar slowly drinking a beer as I felt the changes in Wendy from afar.
It might have been nasty of me, but I was feeling too depressed to be nice. Our jump in the void had already proven to me that Cherine cannot take me home. As soon as my healer was finished, I jumped.
I did not pinpoint a time, just my home in Athens. I departed without expectations of arriving where I aimed for, but I was determined to keep on jumping until I found myself on a world with Cherinians capable of calling my loves to fetch me. I thought that the odds were stacked in my favour and that as long as there are Cherinians, even if they cannot time their jumps (only a few can in my time), they can jump to an alternate Earth and find someone who can. I guess I did not want to think about it too deeply or else I might have despaired. I had thought I’d worked out a tendency to overshoot whichever period I aimed for, but then I discovered it was not consistent. As for what world I’d end up on, the alien world, it had frightened me - that was too far out for me to make any sense of.
I arrived in a concrete covered courtyard surrounded by walls and strewn with rubbish all over. I looked up and saw our moon hazy but with the markings I know. My heart sank as I saw a number of domed bases, their covers obviously smashed. I was in my future.
I never heard or sensed them and I cannot describe the unbelievable agony of all my nervous system seizing up. As I fell and jerked in agony, five youths appeared. They wore something on their heads, but I could not see well enough to work out what it looked like.
They grabbed hold of me and quickly went through my pockets and took my watch. One of them flashed a tiny light in my face and he exclaimed.
“Shit, this is a Robert Teller, we better get out fast, they recover quicker than all the other wet-heads.”
They had barely disappeared when three men and a woman appeared by me. They pointed something at me and the pain faded.
“For Christ’s sake! It’s a Robert Teller! What the hell is he doing arriving here without notifying us first to meet him?”
The woman asked, “Where are you from, which reality?”
“The first, I’m from the first.”
“He must be dazed, it sounded like he said ‘the first’.”
“Give him a second for his thoughts to re-order themselves and then we’ll get his home reality directly.”
The female bent closer to my face. “Did you say the first?”
“Prime.”
“You are claiming to be the prime Robert Teller? Where is Freddie and your family then?” She turned to the others. “He must have been damaged, we better take him for Pieter to heal his mind.”
Pieter must be the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. His warm dark eyes calmed me as his fingers lightly touched my forehead. “May I enter?”
I gave a small smile, wishing they’d let me sleep awhile. “You’re in for a shock. Come in.” He must have felt my weariness, for I fell asleep instantly.
I woke up to a different environment, luxurious, but I could tell it was fortified by many minds casting a shield. I felt no urgent need to get up so I took the time to wonder how powerful their shield is. I closed my eyes and went to the void. I used my new knowledge and went for the green layer. Gathering energy to me I returned to the room my body was in. There was no resistance as I passed through the shield.
*Welcome prime Robert.*
I took my shape. “Thank you. You are convinced I am who I said I was.”
“I took the liberty of examining your recent memories. We know of the period you were lost and what the Screamer did to you.”
“Can you heal the damage?”
“That’s a relief. Give me a moment please to return to my body. I did this to test your shield, but I met no resistance.”
He smiled. “It is not meant to imprison you, only to block others who may not be friendly to you.”
They had honeycomb, toast that tasted awfully close to what I imagine toasted plastic would taste like and no butter, only margarine. The coffee was good.
“Do you wish to smoke?”
“Cigarettes still exist?”
“They are imported from other realities. Pollution and radioactivity from a past war have reduced us to trading with other realities for fresh foods. The food machines you provided all known realities have helped us survive.”
“You cannot use your healers to repair your world?”
His expression sharpened. “Are you certain you want to know when you are?”
“I deliberately did not ask.”
“The answers to the questions you ask would betray that fact.”
“I’m sorry.” Now I wanted to know - isn’t that how the mind works? Always contrary to what we want? “I do have a question, how was I attacked?”
“The Normals were given a new development, a headset that blocks our thoughts, scrambling our nervous system. If it is used a number of times it weakens us permanently. It is the law that we have to allow them to do so when we are born or when we are linked.”
“Not a law I approve of.”
He laughed for the first time. “We didn’t think you would, that is why your presence on our world is being kept a secret.”
I was curious. “Do you mean to tell me that not one Cherinian developed the ability to resist the effects?”
“Those who wished to stay, agreed not to. Those who did not agree moved away, to a planet they terraformed for themselves.”
I felt bitter. “This was not what I dreamt of. I wanted all humans to become Cherinians.”
“It is our dream too. It may come true with time. Robert, their birth rate has dropped dramatically… recently. Those we can, we do link.”
I shook my head, upset. “You mean they have to die out for my dream to come true? Damn it, that is not what I want.”
“If you’ll excuse me for saying so Robert, your dreams are those of a primitive, noble but not viable. A lot has changed and decisions have to be made that suit our times.” Oh my loves, at that moment I would have given anything to hear you laugh at my being called a noble primitive.
“It has been suggested you may feel that way and I’ve been asked to discourage you from trying.”
I kept quiet, staring at him, waiting. He did not try. Perhaps I was being too sensitive, reading too much into the way he’d expressed himself. Somehow I didn’t think so. Was the room being monitored?
“I guess my first priority is to find my way back to my family.”
“May I make a suggestion? Until you do, travel sheathed. We are preparing a lightweight food machine and other equipment for you to use should you need them for food, water and air. They will not inconvenience you as they are worn as a belt around your waist.”
“What of when I arrive home?”
“We offered knowing your dislike of affecting time. We are certain you’ll destroy them.”
As I lit a cigarette a fresh coffee arrived. “Where does the term ‘wet-head’ come from?”
“We are wet-heads and they are hard-heads. In other words, our powers come from our minds while theirs come from hardware.”
“You cannot imagine how tempting it is to ask questions. I must have thousands of them.”
“That is why only I am sitting with you. It is also another reason for the shield, there are those who think we should fill your mind with all our problems in the hope you’ll solve them for us.”
“Pieter, if I do return, I promise to do so in this room. As to whether I’ll do anything, we’ll have to wait and see. Does this world still have a Robert and Cherine?”
“A full Teller family. Do you wish to meet them? I am here at Samantha’s request.”
“She chose you?”
“Yes.” Good. I had not been too sensitive in my reading of him, not if a Samantha sent him. Knowing there is a Samantha scheming away in the background this far in the future, I could not help feeling my world was suddenly a brighter place.
“No, I won’t meet them this time. Please give to Samantha my exact words. ‘Thank you and I am aware’. That is all. I better get going, I think I still have a lot of jumps ahead of me.”
He insisted that before I leave I should sleep a few more hours so I reminded him my healer was working at full power. They made me wait a couple of hours for the equipment, provided me with a lunch exactly to my taste and then I sheathed myself and jumped.
I arrived in space. I sent all Samanthas a kiss and made a note that we should let all Samanthas know of the meeting and the timeous warning I was sent. I decided this time not to worry about the paradox, maybe I’d be in the mood later. Right at that moment I only felt grateful.
I took the time to look around, left my body for the void, but saw no Worlds or Sparklers. I did not have my true time/place senses or the equipment for deciding if I’d arrived in the space an Earth should have occupied, so I decided to jump again.
I quickly looked around to make certain I had not arrived in the middle of an alien equivalent of a bullfight. I was surrounded by a species I’d never seen before reclining on tiered stands. One of them worked its way to me with a microphone on a headset.
