We had to un-confuse them as to what Cherinianism really is all about (the team that helped them came from the early days of the Inguel dealing with us) and they love all we stand for. They have a strong sense of empathy and I do not think it comes only from them being telepaths.
The Muyzith started off bemused. A number of them had been prepared to devote themselves for a number of years to be spent here helping the Ispadosua. Instead they discovered a philosophy that did not make sense and yet, despite the inability to understand aliens so different, they could not deny the wellbeing, joyous life and love that drives these people.
Angelica cautioned her friend, “Do not adopt their ways Msito without first examining what drives your people. On our world, Terra, in every generation a number of gentle souls turn their backs on our competitive societies. They do not seek material gain and try to live with love as their religion.
Those who find true happiness, fulfilment, are very rare. You see, it is in our nature to seek challenges and compete. All true civilisation does is create rules that are meant to prevent excesses and cruelty. Those who turn away from technology and commerce are turning to the past and, if you turn exclusively to an imagined ideal past, you cannot be a part of an evolving future. Most of the children of those families turn away from their parents and their way of life and rejoin the harsh competitive world because of their eagerness to acquire all those materialistic things their parents rejected. I think that the past is important, even or especially an idealised one, but only if we use it as a tool, in a philosophical sense, so as to guide the direction our future takes. In that way we may achieve a future suitable for humans, not depersonalised and empty of meaning as our scientists and large business tend to plan for.
Examine the beliefs of my father Robert. Has he not demanded we remain as the Normals in many ways that would seem to contradict what many think is Cherinian? Does he not say that if you do not protect yourself, fight for your ideals, but also fight for what is fairly yours, then you do not deserve our help?
Your species have a number of traits we admire, do not sacrifice them because the Ispadosua have chosen a way that is beautiful. Give yourselves time to study them and you may also come to see that unless they grow to understand themselves in time so as to preserve some of their knowledge, they will lose the knowledge they have and live like savages, struggling to survive. There is no Utopia for any species - perhaps there is a role for those who can use empathy as a guide to help them see for themselves how the future must seesaw slightly, so that they neither lose all they have learned, nor allow themselves to ossify.”
The way Angelica keeps on affecting Robbie, you’d think it is her honeymoon.
As usual, I was only teasing. Robbie and Empathia are at that stage of their honeymoon where they concentrate on long walks, talking for hours, learning something new about each other now and then. Those are the moments they treasure and it is not as if Robbie has stopped loving her sweet body (although he does stick to his no penetration rule - which, truth be told, does feel strange to those of us who have been a part of the family for decades, but none complain, as not only do we love the way it makes Robbie feel, but also love-enjoy how it makes us feel so loved. Strange?)
The Ispadosua are half the size of our infants at birth and yet they grow to about two hundred odd kilos, their lower body about six feet in length. Their infants are fully mobile within half an hour of being born and it is amusing watching the adults taking care of their babies. I have taken on alien shapes, I have loved so many aliens, our isi most of all, and yet I find the thought strange that if I could die and my soul sent where the void wills and I was born an Ispadosua, I would find such a baby beautiful beyond words. Our form and the dangers surrounding us as Normals over a half a million years, dictates what we find attractive. Can being a Cherinian change all that for us? If yes, should we? Survival of our Terran way of interpreting life is important; all we should do is help it grow enough for us to also be part of our alien families, not become as them.
Michael had asked me to go with him and we were sitting alone on Robbie’s ledge. For a long moment I could barely sense his emoting as he stared down at our beautiful world.
“Why aren’t you scared of dad? Everyone else is, even my prime mother.”
“Cherine, scared of dad! What makes you think so?”
“I sense it.”
“Not scared Michael, awed. The truth is, so am I. You know that I still get teased about devoting myself to studying him when I was a baby? I discovered that there are multiple layers to him - I guess that is true of most people.
On the one hand, he is the meek and introspective artist, painfully shy and insecure. It seems that all artists are one extreme or the other, though most are extroverts. He loved what he did more than anything else in the whole world. Then he met Cherine.
He could not remain the Robert he was and love Cherine. He did not become her protector because she was a child, that is a myth he loves to use - although it seems to particularly anger those who hate him for being a lover of childish bodies. The truth is, he did because she is so vulnerable.
Her gifts, her yearning for him to understand her and share the part of her life that she feared, all of it conspired to force his mind to blossom. You need to study Normals to realise how frightening and yet exhilarating it must have been for him discovering that she has paranormal powers.
How did he react when he discovered the same gifts growing in him? Did he become vain? Did he make plans to become wealthy and powerful? As difficult as it may be to believe, all he dreamt of was using his gifts to protect Cherine from the reactions of governments. He lived with terror in his heart for a long time.
I guess that kept him sensitive to the fears in others. As the number of Cherinians expanded, he began to formulate his social theories about how we should grow and the importance of our maintaining our links with the Normals.
Have you given serious thought to his rules and fears? What have you decided drives him? I can hardly recall how many times I’ve wrested the leadership from him, but it was only because I had a role to play that he is not suited to. You know how he reacts to either of us taking over someday. Do you think it is because he enjoys being our leader? Michael, it is paramount that he remains leader because only he can be trusted to try and create a future that Cherine can live in. When it comes to Cherine, I do not trust anyone else, not you, not me, not even Arthur. Only dad.
As for fearing him, how can I fear a man who spends every day of his life facing the terror that still makes him tremble sometimes in his sleep? He has learnt just enough about social dynamics to appreciate that he cannot prevent a great number of people from using Cherine’s gifts plus talents natural to them, from trying to dominate the Normals - and maybe the Cherinians. However, he does not give up and he will fight them until the end of time, even though he will always remain hampered in the way he fights by our Cherinian belief system.
Michael, when you see, in our memories, that I stood against him at times, keep in mind that I feared doing so, but I feared even more that he was allowing himself to stray from his dreams. That is my most important role, guardian of his dreams, whatever it costs him or us, so that Cherine can become all she can be. He has to, her growth is not an isolated factor that affects only her, she will affect all of life one day.”
We next went to the planet of the Qkwesinitie. In their excitement, the girls were exchanging views, opinions and facts about the people and the planet so quickly that I doubt Michael caught more than a third of it. As soon as we arrived, they grabbed him and jumped.
Dommi and Aganthi stayed behind as they were in the middle of doing a stock-taking of our provisions. Alki quietly spoke to Manoli and the two of them jumped into our storerooms to help. When our loves returned, Dommi announced that the two men have volunteered to take over from them. For the next two days they reorganised and prepared itemised lists of what we should have and what is in stock. Vincent took one look and pretended to groan. I think the truth is he enjoys going for our stock since he goes to a different reality each time and spends time with the local Cherinians (unless he is meeting a woman and keeping it a secret). Oh lord, it just struck me! Does Vincent also prefer little girls? Seeing he is a sort of alter ego of Robbie, it would not be surprising.
I’m glad for Dommi and Aganthi - for as long as it lasts. Those two work the hardest of any of us and the work they do is dreary, the stuff none of us enjoy doing. Since they also keep a pre-teen age, now they will have more time for playing with us. It is also good for both men, they are not used to sitting around all day with nothing to do. When Robbie heard, he cracked a few jokes, but we could sense he was pleased.
That night the girls regaled us with news they’d picked up, greetings from friends for those of us who had not gone with and they made Michael blush with the stories they told (nicely exaggerated) about his popularity. When Haven told a story about him flirting with a local girl we all had a good laugh for they are too alien for him to be sexually attracted.
As the conversations drifted and he was no longer the center of their attention, he moved over to me, Goldi moving for him to sit, with a shy smile that had him staring at her with a rapturous look on his face. He sighed as I pushed a fresh glass of coke over to him.
“Not even a Cherinian memory is good enough for me to make sense of the day. I’d barely meet someone and another girl would be dragging me over to meet someone else or to show me a painting and so on.”
Primly I asked, wanting to tease him, “Is it correct of you to refer to your mothers as girls?”
He made an exaggerated display of looking at all of them and turned to me with a grin. “I don’t think they would appreciate me calling them women.”
We mostly did not chat, listening to the others. Just before he got up to go he whispered in my mind, *If the girls leave me any free time tomorrow, I’d like to have a chat with you.*
“Whenever, even now if you want.”
“Dad is getting ready to go home.”
“That’s okay, he’ll wait.”
We walked off to the beach, others who were walking or sitting and chatting careful to give us privacy.
“I’ve been through about a third of your memories.”
“That was quick! Was I that boring?”
“Are you hitting on me?” I knew he wasn’t, I guess I was slightly flirting. “What do you mean! Michael, you are not supposed to share my private memories! It is not polite for whoever gifts their memories.”
“I know, and I mostly was honourable. Sometimes though, what you were feeling was so beautiful I got carried away, it wasn’t as if you were making love, it was as if you were just filling and being filled with love.”
“That’s not the point, those moments are private.” I stared into his worried eyes and could not help giving him a slight grin to ease his troubled look. “From now onwards, give me your promise you will respect my privacy.”
“I’m not made for affairs. Damn that prophecy!”
“Take up the offer by Allan and his loves.”
“I mustn’t and you know it. Oh well, I guess it’s all in a good cause.”
“No, that is stupid Michael. The battle between us could carry on for many years. As you said, you are not made for affairs, you need someone to love and be loved by. If you don’t, it is only natural that you will succumb to the wiles of one of their women. That could bring about a disaster. Accept the offer by Allan or else we’ll do as Bernadine suggested.”
“Would one of them be yours?”
“No. I’ve had a child while others haven’t, it would not be fair.”
“I’ll think about it.”
I was so worried that I only realised as I lay in bed that he had not promised as I’d asked. I hid my blushing face in Robyn’s hair.
Merlin came to visit and because we sensed how he yearned to travel with us again among the stars, Robbie invited him to join us. He returned with his luggage so quickly that we realised he’d done so deliberately, banking on our sensing him. He is a loveable old guy (he has not rejuvenated himself) and we, especially Haven and Shiyra are happy to have him back, so we did not embarrass him by saying anything.
We arrived this morning in orbit around the Meéjeira planet. I have kept quiet about a certain development so that my writing of it does not disturb or influence the relationship that has been growing tighter by the day. Michael and Simito have become the best of friends. Thanks to Michael preferring to be an adult, Simito has also allowed himself to be an adult, only reverting to childhood when with his parents. Simito took Michael’s hand eagerly.
“Be my guest on our world. I want to teach you to see it as I do.”
“Would you like me to project?”
“Stay a Terran, if you see the beauty we see, it will mean more to us.”
Simito does not know many Meéjeirans, so he only introduced him to a few, mostly concentrating on showing him everything they treasure about themselves and explaining the symbolism behind much of their art and architecture.
Because Michael spends so much time as an adult and what our eyes see affects our minds, we tend to treat/think of him as an adult. It then makes us intolerant or fearful of his petty possessiveness, selfishness and tempers. Of course his mind is blind to much life teaches us, despite him being a Cherinian. You could say that Simito opened his eyes and taught him to see what experience usually teaches us to see, such as compassion, which is different from empathy and comes by learning through our own pains.
The Meéjeirans celebrated our coming with a party that flowed into the streets and the revelry extended until late that night. As people drifted away to sleep, Simito took Michael’s hand in his and without explaining walked out of town. Michael had felt us sharing in the background during the day and evening, so he sensed us withdrawing as these moments became deeply personal. He sent me a thought, *Stay my Samantha - learn of me as I have of you…for the diary of course,* he added with amusement.
Without warning Simito jumped to a hill in the distance and then sat on the ground to stare at the jungle top that darkly spread before them, the sounds of wildlife faintly heard and the glow of various phosphorescent creatures turning it into a wonderland that hinted at the plethora of the magic of life within.
They were silent for a long time, Michael caught up in the dreamy beauty while immersed in the thoughts and feelings of his friend. Simito waited for the glow of false dawn before speaking.
“My friend, we have grown too close, I cannot bear the thought of our parting.” Startled Michael looked at him, fearing that Simito had decided to stay on his planet when we leave. “I speak of the prophecy Michael. I have decided I will come with you, though it pain me to leave my parents.”
Fear stabbed through Michael, fear at the loss of the beauty in Simito’s soul that he foresaw. “No, you cannot come with.”
“You fear for me? Your love will not protect me, as I will protect you?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” His fear made him angry and curt. He could not bear soiling this precious heart he’d grown to love. “I will be forced to do things no human should, never mind a Cherinian, so as to remain leader. The pain I’ll cause will destroy you.”
“That is why I chose to come with you. I too have heard the talk and know exactly what you will have to endure. Michael, if we remain together we will both survive. If you go alone, time will change your heart. Let the love we feel for the other be your shield, as it will be mine. Wait my friend.” He pressed his hand to stop him speaking. “You think of me and want to keep the pain only for yourself. The hardening of your heart, that also is only yours, it must not spoil all you love in me. Tell me, what will happen to my heart, how dark will my soul be the day you return? Would you have me destroyed since I would not have any defences? Allow me to join you so that we defend each other by sharing our pain and as we help each other, continue to grow in the right direction.”
A terran male speaking to another male would only have spoken of friendship, but when he spoke of love, it felt right to Michael, so he hardly noticed. With my hearts hammering, I listened to the argument and burst into tears when Michael gave in and agreed.
Of course I shared with my family. We all cried in each others arms, Robbie no less than any of us. We felt him railing against fate which has planned this for his beloved son and we soothed him as we could. I made my decision, though I felt guilty.
“Dad, I must have a daughter for him to love. He will not accept to take a love with him, but if she is mine, he will.”
“Are you that selfish my love? Don’t you know why Allan offered? What it would mean to him? Have you forgotten his promise to his father as his father lay dying, in a coma? It is my pain that I feel how useless Allan feels, that he feels he is offering nothing to anyone. His loves share with him and understand, that is partly why they agreed to have a daughter for Michael. If you would help Michael, convince him to accept Allan’s offer.”
I had shared with Allan, ‘been’ present as his father lay unconscious, when he asked his father to be born as his son in a next life so that he could be as wonderful a father to him as his father had been to him, so I saw that Robbie was right. This pain belongs to Allan, not me - and indirectly, to Arthur.
I came up with a plan that is very convoluted. I suggested to Allan that, with Lynda’s help, we find a soul of an Allan that is not going to be born as an Allan, and that soul to become his daughter for Michael to love. I did not need to point out that this way it would be as if an Allan provides all the love the soul of his father needs. With eagerness, as if Michael had agreed already, he wanted it to happen, only asking that I choose the soul of an Allan that died. Though he did not ask, I also promised him I will find a way to convince Michael.
It was planned that we go next to the Unation systems, but Robbie sensed that Michael is too troubled for visiting. We lingered on at the Meéjeiran planet, visiting and being visited by the Meéjeirans, but also the crews from the spaceships helping to rebuild their civilisation.
Robbie’s eyes were fixed on the Inguel spaceships above us without him seeing anything as he rummaged around in his mind for something to break Michael out of his lethargic spell. Suddenly his mind darkened, blocking us out. When hour after hour went by without him opening again to us, our conversations faltered and we returned to sit at the taverna by him.
Robbie’s face was pale and drawn. “Cherine love, you will hate me.”
“I’m coming with!”
He gave a small pained smile. “To where my love?”
“Wherever.”
“I’m taking Michael and none of you will come. This is a pain only I must bear. Share it with me afterwards my loves.”
“Where are you taking him?” Michael had sensed us and jumped. Robbie looked at him.
“Will you come with me?”
“Wherever you want father.”
“We are going to visit the Gnolats.”
“No!” we all screamed. After that it was pandemonium, Cherinians gathering by the taverna in their tens of thousands. They did not know what to do as they watched the worst fight our family has ever endured. All of us were weeping and trying to argue him out of whatever he planned and he sat with his shoulders slumped, sharing our pain and terror. Cherine grabbed hold of me and jumped.
“Why Samantha, why does he want to do this?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps…perhaps he wants Michael to witness an important part of our history so that he knows that what he sees was bought with blood and pain?”
Ice seemed to freeze my blood so that both my hearts faltered. “What for, he can’t.”
“I don’t know, but that is what he plans.”
Cherine did not grab me for me to commiserate with her nor to join her in standing against our Robbie. I know her too well, she was hoping for me to make sense of it. I went deep within my mind and forgot her sitting by my side, even though I remained aware of her and her motionless impatience.
“He no longer tries to kill himself, so he is not leaving to die. He loves Michael, so he is not taking him to his death. Cherine, we cannot stop him, we have to decide to trust him. If you demand to go with he will refuse you and I think we must not do anything to tempt the others to make the same demands. It will be hard enough convincing Jade she must stay.”
“She will demand that whatever Michael is to learn, so must she?”
“Yes.”
“I will go as the light. He cannot refuse me then.”
“Please don’t.”
“What about you?”
I shut the door to that plan, I could not lie and if she knew I planned to go she would demand to come with. “We’ll wait here for them. Damn it Cherine, this is the most stupid idea he’s ever come up with!”
You’ve heard about reversing the polarity? That was what my outburst did. Cherine suddenly switched over and something changed within her, still afraid, but no longer angry and anguished. “I don’t think so, his instincts would not allow him to take Michael into danger without reason.”
It was a small comfort for us when he told us that Vincent is going with. I lost that comfort when Vincent disappeared and returned as the void. Obeying Robbie he placed them within stasis. They did not leave and Robbie and Michael stood watching us.
His voice, a hint deeper and barely drawn out reached us in our minds. Samantha, messing around with the stasis gave me an idea. We are less than a second per day slower than you. Attack us.
It instantly made sense to me and knowing what the result would be I sent a shaft of burning energy. It did not penetrate. I reached for an old tree trunk that lay on the ground far away and it arrived within seconds at an enormous velocity, smashing into them. It splintered into pieces without making their stasis shield tremble. An idea came to me.
“Go into normal space.” Taking for granted they would I grabbed Angelica and jumped. *Attack using a very small comet of fire.*
*It is not a comet of fire Sam, it is made out of magic energy.*
*Do it.*
Fearfully she did so, aiming for their feet. It was tiny but that was okay with me. It splattered, its energy dissipating without penetrating. Angel sent a larger one, pulling me away with her as it smashed into the stasis shield/interface.
*Meet us inside.* I sent to them.
I had them come out of the stasis. Robbie was annoyed.
I shrugged, not really listening, for my mind was racing and I was so happy it felt as if my insides were trembling. So was Cherine, so were the rest of my loves, but they had not guessed the full extent of the importance of Robbie’s idea.
“Dad, thank you.” He saw the tears as I stepped forward and hugged Michael. “You’ll be safe now.”
Robbie fell silent, holding Cherine to him as he waited for me. “What is going on in your mind?
On cue Maria came out with a coffee and cigarettes. She gave me a small smile. “He will need it?” I nodded, grinning.
I sat opposite him and ticked off on my fingers the points I had to make. “First of all, that stasis shield is very inefficient and uncomfortable. Try to create one that sheathes your body so that you can move freely. That way you can both be sheathed separately should you need to be apart. Second, what is to stop you creating a stasis platform with all the comforts you’ll need? We must try doing so with both of you sheathed inside it. I don’t know if that is possible, but it would provide a great degree of extra safety, especially if the time differential between your sheaths and the platform are in opposition to each other. One slower and the other faster. What might be engineered to pass through the one might not succeed in penetrating the other.
Dad, Michael, I’m only make assumptions, you have to experiment first before you trust it is so.
Third, this is my greatest joy. Dad, you must teach Michael how to create his own stasis. Not just for…” We felt his shocked anger so I stared him in the eyes, demanding he allow me to finish. “Not just for this trip, even though it makes sense and makes you both safer. For afterwards dad. What do you think will happen if Michael’s followers discover the truth, that he is sabotaging them? You would have him vulnerable to their concerted attacks? They will throw everything at him, determined to destroy him. That has been my fear, how to provide him with an invincible shield, even if magic is used against him - you know they will find allies from a magic reality. You’ve found the answer for us.”
Robbie had not been the only one resenting my demand that he share his power with Michael. As soon as they understood what drove me to make the suggestion, I had a bunch of hysterical mothers trying to kiss me as I kept my senses focussed on Robbie, with the result that his explosion of joy hit me so hard that I burst into tears.
Their departure was delayed by two days as Robbie experimented. At first he decided a platform was not necessary, that the outer stasis shield could act as a platform. Vincent could not form one around their sheathed forms. When he created a platform and Vincent tried to enclose it, the stasis formed. Urgently I called for Vincent to get rid of it.
Without explaining I demanded they follow me into normal space. I separated a tiny sliver of my soul and, after preparing it, made Vincent sheathe it in a negative time stasis. I then told him to create a small platform and place it in a positive time stasis. Just in case, I had him take the platform about two hundred kilometres away and, though we could not see it anymore, I waited.
The explosion sent us spinning while even Freddie shook - and he was another fifty kilometres further away. Feeling battered and sore, as my healer repaired me, I checked that nobody was seriously hurt and jumped back to the taverna.
“That was more powerful than a nuclear explosion! You scared the hell out of everyone Sam, all the spaceships jumped to another reality so as not to damage me as I was thrown around and the Meéjeirans must be terrified. What happened?”
“I’m sorry, I was guessing, but I did not expect it to be so powerful.” I collapsed, those next to me grabbing before I touched the floor. I tried to close myself within my grief and my mind was invaded by Robbie, Cherine and Dommi. When they understood, I had to forget my grief and try to strengthen them. I had destroyed, killed my sliver. A little part of Samantha has gone to its final death.
I had guessed that circumstances might arise where they might feel they have to jump out of their platform while it is still sheathed in stasis, so I’d decided that only a demonstration would convince them not to ever try it. Now we know they never will. I drove my point home by insisting on explaining that they must never try to jump out of their personal sheaths either, they will explode.
On the second day Robbie took Michael to the void and taught him how to create a stasis sheath without having to become the void. When Michael returned to call us to the void, we thought they wanted to show us that Michael could. Instead, it was to discover that Robbie had decided we must all learn how.
Robbie grinned as he wiped his lips and placed the bottle of beer on the table. “Thanks to another crazy idea of Sam’s, we are fast approaching the day that none of you will need me as your protector.” His mood darkened. “Don’t ever do that again Sam, we will grieve forever for the part of you we lost.”
Angelica gave in when Cherine firmed and everyone agreed she should not go. We can all sympathise with her, especially Jade. She has prepared herself through arduous training for the day she can be our protector of Robbie and then her presence is not wanted. I guess we all have to go through that stage.
Everyone gathered to see them off, squelching what anxieties they felt so as to strengthen them with love. Robbie was rather rude, ignoring them as he tried to think of any safeguards he’d forgotten to take, only giving everyone a smile at the last moment. Michael stood with his dark eyes filmed by unshed tears as he felt the love everyone sent him.
It is tempting for me to write pages and pages here with all the minutiae that make up our day just to fill this time of waiting. However, I can sense my loves need me, so I’ll carry on once they have returned.
* * * * *
They have returned! The instant they did we crowded them, our minds eagerly reaching to share what they’d experienced, but all three of them blocked us. Robbie asked Meli, Jade and Wendy to share with them privately and then do a telling tonight. The three girls could not hide their emoting as they shared, so we already know things did not go as smoothly for them as we’d hoped.
