Some writers write that their characters did this, then they did that, then it went horribly wrong and the shot themselves...

I like that you take the time to let us share his inner turmoil and confusion.

If anyone is voting for Elaine or Clare, put my tick by the name of Clare. She must care about him if she spent 10 years still loving him while he totally forgot about her while he sank into his self-pity.