We start telling our favourite bedtime horror stories the moment we wake up.
- I am such a bad sleeper!
- That was a horrible night's sleep - I'm never gonna be able to make it through the day without a nap!
- There is no way I'm going to be able to concentrate or focus on so little sleep.
- That bed is so uncomfortable! I'm never going to be able to sleep well till I can afford a new one!
- What's a bet I'm gonna be exhausted all day and then WIDE AWAKE when it's time to sleep again?
I'm fascinated by the stories people tell themselves about many things, but nothing seems to conjure up quite as much interesting self-talk as sleep issues and insomnia.
"I've never been able to sleep well."
"I know I'm never going to sleep soundly ever again now that I'm a mom."
"I can't sleep if I eat after 3pm
"I always wake up at 4am."
"I always have trouble falling asleep."
"I'm such a light sleeper that everything wakes me."
Science has shown us, over and over again, the great problem with rehearsing the next sleepless night and with reinforcing the bedtime horror story of twisted,damp sheets and dry, gritty, wakeful eyes:
"Studies have shown that the same brain regions become active when a person performs a task and when a person observes someone carrying out a task." Source
"It is now a well-known fact that we stimulate the same brain regions when we visualize an action and when we actually perform that same action. For example, when you visualize lifting your right hand, it stimulates the same part of the brain that is activated when you actually lift your right hand. This shared area of brain activation when we imagine an action and perform it has been demonstrated extensively in the scientific literature." Source
Thinking about, talking about and imagining your sleepless night triggers the same brain activity! And once we start that merry-go-round then yes, the brain will secrete the same chemicals and hormones that created the poor sleep quality last time.
IT CAN"T BE EMPHASIZED ENOUGH that a huge part of great sleep is seeing it happening. Believing it. Visualizing yourself nodding off and deeply asleep. Imagining yourself stretching after a long & restful sleep and being grateful for waking feeling rested, eager and creative. Breathing into the ease of sleep, and the seductive pleasure of simply nodding off.
Self talk is everything. The stories we tell ourselves and others literally shape our future. The coffee break chit-chat "I just never seem to get enough sleep"? The oft repeated mantra triggers the very brain chemistry that causes it.
And so the challenge is firstly to become AWARE of your own stories about yourself. Observe yourself with mindfulness and HEAR yourself limiting, defining and shaping your tomorrow. Once you hear it, you can create just enough mental pause to begin to tell a different story.
- "I slept better last night than I have in a while."
- "I'm finding a quiet hour before bed without computer screens making such a big difference!"
- "I feel so much better when I allow myself enough unwinding time - it helps me sleep a lot better."
- "It's so nice to start the day after better sleep."
The choice for better sleep - which means better focus, faster healing, emotional balance and vastly increased creativity and problem solving - begins with the story we tell ourselves.
So begin that journey to better sleep by changing up your Bedtime Horror Story for a gentle, kind and supportive inner dialogue which encourages deeper rest.
Suddenly feeling very sleepy in my Natural Thai world.
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