Nice beginning. A few places could be smoothed out a bit, but you are trying to accomplish a lot in a few words. I respect that. I have a few questions that might help you forward. Is Derian Kell's journey voluntary or forced? He wants to establish a new house Kell, did he get exiled from the main house? Or is House Kell a mercantile/explorer lineage where Derian was raised with tales of his forebearers adventures that brought fame, fortune and honor to the line? Good job on beginning to flesh out the world, I would love to know more about Derian.
[As for a giveaway, what about incorporating a card into the next part of the story (Derian encounters a ...) and offering that card as a giveaway in some way?]