What is something about yourself that you find difficult to accept or admit and why?
Since childhood until now there is one thing about myself that is still very difficult for me to accept and admit, that is I have a mental illness called OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) which makes me sometimes hallucinate about things that I don't want to think about so that I easily feel tired because of my own thoughts.
Sometimes I can also control the wild hallucinations and overthinking in my mind, sometimes I also feel very anxious so that it makes my life feel uncomfortable, sometimes I also feel anxious all day long, and what's worse, sometimes I also do the same thing over and over again because of the thoughts that suddenly arise in my head.
What makes it difficult for me to have OCD is because I feel like I can't do my job optimally, this OCD disease greatly affects my focus on work both when I work in the real world and work on social media.
And one of the medicines that can calm my mind when my mind automatically overthinks by itself is by writing like this or chatting with people around me. But the problem is that I am too busy working which makes me rarely chat with people, because even though my focus is disturbed because of OCD, I still try to do my job optimally.
Since childhood until today I still feel very anxious with this disease, I feel like I can't live my life calmly, and sometimes my emotions can't be controlled properly because I can get stressed because of the sudden emergence of strange thoughts in my head.
Through this post, maybe I can get advice from friends so that I can treat this disease that I feel so that I can live normally, because when I feel my mind is calm I can live my life very happily.
This is my entry for the #weekend-engagement contest held by my brother 
