El hecho fue que un docente se burló e hizo chistes con una amiga del salón y de toda la vida que posteriormente le fue diagnosticado un problema psiquiátrico, solo que en ese momento no lo sabíamos, tenia los síntomas iniciales y el maestro lejos de ayudarnos se rió temerariamente de la situación vivida. Impulsivamente me enfrenté para defender, no tuve auto control (recuerden la edad que tenia).
Mi madre me habló esa tarde de algo vital, que quizás tal vez tardé mucho en entender en su magnitud, hay cosas que se digieren con lentitud, hasta que el maestro dolor te hace comprender rápidamente lo que el maestro tiempo ha tardado en hacértelo saber, ella me dijo: “no le des poder a los tontos” y además citó a Maquiavelo en su libro El Príncipe diciéndome casi textualmente: “hay tres tipos de cerebros, uno que comprende por sí mismo, otro que discierne por lo que se le dice, y un tercero que no entiende por sí ni con ayuda ajena, el primero es superior en todo, el segundo excelente y el tercero inútil” y agregó… la magia es saber diferenciarlos.
Sin embargo con el pasar del tiempo fui dominándolo, alguna veces mas otras menos, debo confesarles el que más me ha costado es el autocontrol de mi mente, esa vocecita la cual generalmente dice muchas mentiras, cosas que no ocurrirán o es poco probable, la llamamos pensamientos negativos. Aprendí a no discutir por tener la razón, a vigilar mi actitud reconociendo mis emociones y en especial aprendí a ver a aquel otro que generó ese descontrol en mí también como una criatura de Dios, igual que yo, que lleva su equipaje cargado de cosas (como todos) quizás carencias, tal vez creencias. Por allí se dice que es mejor tener paz que la razón no hay nada más cierto… por otra parte hice efectivo aquel consejo de mi madre: “no le des poder a los tontos”.
Mi reto a diario soy yo misma, mi mente divagando por cosas irreales escuchándola esa voz de la mente en vez de oír a la voz de mi alma que es la que dice la verdad, esa que solo se escucha en el silencio de mi interior cuando me permito solo sentir, meditar y no pensar, cuando el neocórtex no sale a hacer alarde de supremacía y encuentro la sosegada paz de mi interior. Hice las paces de diversas maneras con todo aquel que fue testigo de mis impulsos, inclusive con aquel ya anciano profesor con el que fui tan transgresora y vehemente…mi amiga y yo (nada es casual) lo encontramos un día, hablamos con él (no nos recordaba) pero al menos yo sentí una hermosa tranquilidad cuando le pedí disculpa en aquel poco auto control.
That afternoon my mother was upset, she was driving and came talking to me but very airy, she had to look for me at school, I was fifteen years old and I had answered a teacher badly, I felt I was right and I certainly was, but I lost it because I did not know how to control myself, I used to be impulsive in an excessive way, not because of banalities but because of facts such as injustice, cruelty to others and similar issues.
The fact was that a teacher made fun and made jokes with a friend of the classroom and a lifelong friend who was later diagnosed with a psychiatric problem, only that at that time we did not know, I had the initial symptoms and the teacher far from helping us laughed recklessly of the situation experienced. Impulsively I confronted him to defend myself, I had no self control (remember how old I was).
My mother spoke to me that afternoon about something vital, that perhaps I perhaps took a long time to understand in its magnitude, there are things that are digested slowly, until the master pain makes you understand quickly what the master time has taken to let you know, she told me: "do not give power to fools" and also quoted Machiavelli in his book The Prince telling me almost verbatim: "there are three kinds of brains, one that understands by itself, another that discerns by what it is told, and a third that understands neither by itself nor with outside help, the first is superior in everything, the second excellent and the third useless" and added... the magic is to know how to differentiate them.
However, with the passing of time I was able to control it, sometimes more, sometimes less, I must confess that the one that has cost me the most is the self-control of my mind, that little voice which generally tells many lies, things that will not happen or are unlikely, we call it negative thoughts. I learned not to argue for being right, to watch my attitude recognizing my emotions and especially I learned to see that the other person who generated that lack of control in me is also a creature of God, just like me, who carries his baggage loaded with things (like everyone), maybe lacks, maybe beliefs. It is said that it is better to have peace than reason, there is nothing more true... on the other hand, my mother's advice became effective: "don't give power to fools".
My daily challenge is myself, my mind wandering through unreal things listening to that voice of the mind instead of listening to the voice of my soul that speaks the truth, the one that can only be heard in the silence of my interior when I allow myself to feel, meditate and not think, when the neocortex does not come out to show off its supremacy and I find the calm peace of my interior. I made peace in different ways with everyone who witnessed my impulses, even with that old professor with whom I was so transgressive and vehement...my friend and I (nothing is casual) found him one day, we talked to him (he didn't remember us) but at least I felt a beautiful tranquility when I apologized to him in that little self-control.
He usado DeepL traductor/I have used DeepL translator
