Everything is a mating ritual isn't it?

Have you ever wondered: why do people do stuff?
I've been thinking about it and I reached the conclusion that if it's not to find food, it's a mating ritual.
Everything we humans do is a part of our mating ritual, from chasing money to learning a new skill, if we dig enough we'll figure out its main purpose is to increase our odds to find a mate.

• You work because you need money to buy stuff and impress people and persuade them to sleep with you.
• you make art to either make money or impress...
• you brush your teeth because you need to keep your teeth to impress...
• you pick your nose to keep it clean and impress...
• you eat to stay alive and have enough time and energy to impress...
• you steal to have more stuff and impress...
• you lie to impress...
• you become a vegan, believe in a cult, color your hair, endure lying in the scorching sun or take a shower to get some of the action at the end...

There's a handful of things to do that don't look like a mating ritual but I bet somebody can find the relationship between sleeping, farting, masturbating, sneezing and mating.

This isn't as elegant as the usual nuggets of wisdom you'll find on the internet but the next time you found yourself doing or saying something profound and selfless... Remind yourself why you're doing it and don't be so smug about it.

If you think that one thing you're doing is an exception, leave a comment and I'll be happy to show you how wrong you are. After all, looking smart is part of my mating ritual...