My ultimate love magic spell - Part 0 - Introduction

I promised @in2itiveart that I would share the story of how @dana-varahi and I found each other with magic. Now we have been together for nine years, I feel more able to share this story, as it has now reached over twice as long as any other relationship I've had, and shows no signs of stopping yet. In fact we operate together more strongly than ever before. Dana plans to make her own posts sharing her side of the story, so if you like this tale I suggest you follow her to get a fuller picture.

This is a long story, so I think it best if I tell it in instalments. I'll start by sharing some background on love magic in general and of my own experiences with it up until the ultimate spell that lead to me connecting with Dana.

Introduction
Love magic is one of those tricky areas of magic that gets a bad reputation. Usually this is because people try to make a specific person fall in love with them, and then find they don't really like them very much but can't get rid of them. Well I heeded those warnings and never repeated those mistakes.

I was in my early twenties when I got interested in Chaos Magic. Actually I can probably trace it back earlier, to my teens where I began identifying with Chaos Magic characters in 2000ad comics, such as Nemesis the Warlock and Deadlock from the ABC Warriors. But I was in my early twenties when I discovered that it wasn't just fictional.

One of the core tenets of this chaos magic movement I came across was results magic. Apparently chaos magic was about doing magic in such a way that you could clearly determine whether you had a success or failure. In this way you were supposed to then have a tangible evidence of your magical prowess.

But how would you apply that kind of thinking to love magic? What counts as success can vary of course, depending upon whether you seek brief encounters, serial monogamy, some variation on polyamory, swinging and open relationships, or whether you really want something that will last the course. If you want the latter (with or without polyamory), then measuring a result becomes tricky. You only need to succeed once.

This will to succeed with the magic can help create the determination and commitment necessary to a successful long term relationship. But also you need to also have the wisdom and honesty to admit when it just isn't working. Sometimes a relationship can be a lot of fun, and your partner a good friend, and yet it still doesn't work. Sometimes a committed couple (or polyamorous group) can work out a way to make it work. But that isn't always possible. The best of friends and the best of lovers can simply grow apart in mutually incompatible ways.

It takes a lot of self-knowledge and openness to tell the difference between a relationship that needs work and a relationship that needs to end. When it needs to end, the longer you leave it the worse it gets. The more painful the ending feels. The next part of my story will leave the theory behind and explore my experiences with love magic prior to the spell that lead me to Dana.