What better way to kick off the holiday season than to begin temping for extra rent money. At 930 military time, I arrive at my local city corporately owned athletic cathedral. Upon arrival I am informed I will be performing security theater for the grand spectacle of collegiate basketball. My qualifications to perform such a task, I own black pants and a white shirt. My charge will alternate between inspecting bags for any of 24 prohibited items such as guns and sandwiches, and to caress a few chosen people aura with an magnetic wand. Sometimes it flashes a red light and beeps sometime it is silent. Either way I let the pilgrim of hoops pass as I have not been giving any instruction not to, or anything for that matter. Working beside me are the red shirts. At first believe they are my superior as they own a red shirt , to which I do not. This mis-cognition is soon rectified as they are just as befuddled as any of us white shirts, despite their more chromatically advanced wardrobe.
I never been a sports fan. I never been able to fit my ego into any sort of group. My brain doesn't release dopamine when others people accomplish their goals. On a visceral level I am adverse to uniforms and will only wear one in exchange for money. I really don’t like wearing clothes, but like even less explaining why I am naked. Sort of a reverse stripper. There the repetition to sports I do not understand. Why would you want to play the game the same way every time, or even play the same game. Would you just play one song every day. That said I have come to respect the spectacle of sport as much or more so than any religion. First off, I think it require as much devotion as many religions. Spending so many hours every week on a couch or barstool every week to me seem as arduous as any sitting meditation. And I would rather listen to a lashed tongue preacher illuminate how my soul will be gnashed by horny demons for an infinite of eternities, than commercial that seduce my limbic brain into thinking my desire for sex can be satisfied by another Budweiser. Actually the old fire and brimstone routine is a guilty pleasure of mine, so that might not be a fair comparison.
Where I see sport actually surpassing the traditionally accepted great faiths of the world is the cathartic release it offers it worshiper. Those who allow their emotions to be puppeteered by the combative dance of indifferent athletes. Syncing up emotionally to each other without any intimate exchange of knowledge. The only shared scripture is the scoreboard. What in everyday mundane life offers a chance at unfettered cheer. Conversely, and in my opine more importantly where can one boo, without social reprimand. Boo that failed marriage, the boss who fired you, your estrange loved one's, cancer, death . Expelling, at least temporary, all this demonic energy all because a referee made a call that contradicted your cultural bias. If this isn’t magic, I don’t know what is.
As I return to my theatical part, taken an informal survey on what the popular meds are these days, I begin to cynically admire the sophistication of scam of modern security. It wasn’t too long ago that children were taught by the very people they were conditioned to see as wise and caring elders that a standard issue 4th grade desk would safely shield you from any atomic weapons and radioactive fallout the Russians could engineer with their commie brains. Today I stand among over a hundred in a costume for no other purpose than to lull the masses out of the heightening aware mind space that could actually save their life if anyone went full metal berserk. Over a twelve hour shift I confiscated 3 pocket knives. All of which were in plane sight, 2 of which were self reported. The biggest one was about a three inch blade. If someone put any effort into smuggling a weapon inside for nefarious purpose I’m afraid I would not stop them. Of course that not why I was hired. I am employed through a temp agency. If some asshole wanted to prove how unoriginal and angry he is by adopting some mass canage bulshit which is all too trendy within our culture then, security being outsourced by various temp agencies takes some litigious heat off the stadium owners. This is a corporatized religion after all. The same logic that has grinds up thousands of cows from numerous farms before they churn out burgers: if any cow is deceased we can never trace back to who is responsible. The same logic that corporate capitalism was founded on, in the embryonic days of global navigation. Own one ship that sinks and your ruined. Own ten percent of ten ship and 3 sinks you still are in the game.
How moral all this is, elude me, but I willing to admit my part while fun and liberating, was not honest. I’d do it again of course, I need the money and my sins in this are small. I do apologize to anybody who thought they were safe though, despite my appearance I did not mean to give you that impression.
