I'm a shadow of the person I once was and I've been stuck in this weird limbo world for a little over a year..

Damn that is a little too relatable. Pain is a bitch and a half and one of those things that can really grind on soul. Often makes me not feel like me.

In my case, couple to a few spinal disks are FUBAR and I have a connective tissue affecting genetic disorder to boot. Def be feelin like a shadow person sometimes esp as age catches up.

My situation isn't acute so not really any prospect of getting better but more about "managing" the pain. I hope in your case it is remedied and you can exit the "realm of shadows". Ain't a good place for nobody. I'm a lifer but least I get some glimmer of clarity when I'm medicated. The more time goes by the more narrow that window seems to become.

As for the going to jail thing, sometimes my pain makes me angry. Reminds me of that WaterBoy quote about why Alligators so ornery. Yeah, I can be an ornery as all hell and, if someone crosses me during a pain episode, def feel like I'm liable to snap. I know you may wanna give the doc a piece of your mind and a piece of dem hands but imo better to get a new doc if at all possible.

In any case, not sure if you the religious but will say prayer for your situation nevertheless. Broken people need to be there for broken people.