AFTER A SELF CLEANSING BORN AGAIN HIATUS Never One To Be Lost. Salvation Is Surrendered Action. War Is Unity Divided. Peace Is Separation Accepted. Will & Understanding Have Come To Cultivate Change.

DATE 16SEP10, TIME 1543 How many people are thinking of my birthday? Even if they are thinking of it, why does it matter? I’m not going to receive a gift from anyone. I have not celebrated a birthday in

DATE 15SEP10, TIME 2223 As you can see I skipped my entry yesterday. I am running out of things to talk about. We are almost half way there and people are starting to get antsy. I almost beat the shit

DATE 13SEP10, TIME 2346 What would I do if anything happened to you? Better question, what could I do? I couldn’t do anything, another down side to being on a submarine. If you were injured I couldn’t

DATE 13SEP10, TIME 1535 When is the last time you knocked on someone’s front door? When is the last time you heard someone’s voice over the phone? When you’re down below the surface of the ocean looking

DATE 12SEP10, TIME 2249 As I close my rack curtain I enter my own world. I am no longer on the boat; I am in my safe haven. I was watching Lost tonight and I literally got lost. I was so into the TV show

DATE 11SEP10, TIME 1746 9 years ago, 9/ 11 happened. It's crazy to think, that is before I knew you existed. I remember exactly where I was. I was at the off ramp from the 67 Freeway getting off on Cottonwood

DATE 10SEP10, TIME 1448 Today I am asking myself, ‘’Why the Navy is so fucking stupid?’’ There is a chief on board who has been here two years, and is a complete idiot about submarines, but they qualified

DATE 10SEP10, 0737 I have not been thinking much lately. I have tried to stop thinking all together. When I do think I end up freaking myself out. I start breathing all heavy, and panicking. I’m sure if

DATE 09SEP10, TIME 1052 Time is a crazy thing. I have not written in a little over 24 hours, but it feels like it has been days. I took my second-class exam this morning. I have no idea how I did, I haven’t

DATE 08SEP10, TIME 0644 High school. I thought when I graduated, and got a diploma I was getting out of the high school scene. I have come to realize that high school is just what sets us up to deal with

DATE 07SEP10, TIME 1142 24/7. That is what my life has come to, 24 hours a day 7 days a week, submarine. I eat, drink, and breathe submarine. Shit, I even dream submarine. I’m going to try to put it into

DATE 06SEP10, TIME 2222 Feeling you with my thoughts, but can’t touch you with my skin. Love you, forever and always, love babe.

DATE 06SEP10, TIME 1735 The littlest things in life seem so huge when you’re on a submarine. I miss being able to listen to music as loud as I want to on a Sunday morning, or just making any noise at all.

DATE 06SEP10, TIME 0035 I got off watch, and all I thought about for 6 hours, was the one email this week that I got from you. I know you’re going to think I’m crazy when you read this because, well just

DATE 05SEP10, TIME 1326 Couldn’t sleep yet again this time because of an email you sent me. It was about you hanging out with “Andrew and Ryan”. It really fucked me up seeing my name in an email, but knowing

DATE 05SEP10, TIME 0552 I was thinking of how fucked up life really is onboard a submarine. At around 0230 I started thinking of you, and what you are doing. I realized I had no idea what time it was in

DATE 04SEP10, TIME 1753 I didn’t do much today and didn’t think of much either. I finally folded the laundry I did yesterday. It sucks not getting sailor mail from you; it feels like it’s been forever.

I keep forgetting to tell you how fucked up my back has gotten. Everywhere I sit I have to slouch because no chairs on this boat are comfortable. I even slouch in my rack. Today was a pretty easy day of

DATE 02SEP10, TIME 2342 I just ate the best mid-rats meal we have on board anymore, grilled ham & cheese, and tomato soup. Of course, it was out the window, so we only got two sandwiches…bullshit.