Ever since I was 8 years old, I never expected life would be so insanely interesting. The year was 2005 when I realized that life happens when you're making other plans. My baby brother(Andrew) was born that year, I had prayed to all the gods that I wanted my new sibling to be a girl because I already had a brother(Joshua). I was quite disappointed when I got to the hospital after my mom had given birth to the new baby, I really hoped that the doctors had made a mistake about my new sibling being a boy. Nevertheless I still loved him with all my heart.
I used to look after him while our mother was busy, she became really grumpy all the time. I never understood why, I just carried on playing with my brothers. Play, play, play was all we used to do. Eventually I got bored of playing so I started pranking. I would put mud on sandwiches and tell Joshua that it was Nutella and then laugh like crazy when he would almost take a bite. Then, I would get a smack for wasting bread. Totally worth it though. I love laughing.
A few years had passed, Andrew was three years old, when I hopped into my mom's car and she said she has a surprise for us, but we would only be able to get it by Dewali. (an Indian holiday) We irritated her the entire ride home, we were so excited for the surprise even though we didn't know what it was. Eventually after an insane amount of nagging and guessing random things, she told us that she was pregnant. I was overwhelmed with joy! I would finally have a sister! I thought, what are the odds of mom having three boys in a row? Haha. Little did I know that life isn't fair.
Eventually, baby Christopher was born. Yup, I was the only girl and I had three baby brothers. I remember thinking, god must really hate me because he never gives me what I want. See, I wasn't raised in a religious household, what I knew about religion was based on what my friends at school told me, they said, "Ask and you shall receive." So, that's what I did. I asked and asked and asked, but never received. Eventually my faith in religion disappeared. Keep in mind that just because I don't have faith in religion doesn't mean I don't have faith in general.
Okay, we're going to skip a few years ahead because I don't think you want to read about my family (barely) surviving the 2008 recession. It was 2010, we had just settled down in our two bedroom apartment. Six people in a two bedroom apartment, I was not keen but I just dealt with it. I would spend every day outside. It didn't matter what I did, I just had to be outside or I would have lost my mind inside that flat. Mom was like that dragon from Shrek, always grumpy and always breathing fire. I just needed time out. I became depressed because I thought that I was going to be like mom when I grew up. I didn't want to be angry all the time.
Then 2012 came around, my step dad left. Mom became an insanely different person. Every alternate weekend when my two youngest brothers would go away to visit their dad, my mom would invite complete strangers over to our house. I was 15, I knew what they were doing. Mom started smoking and drinking again. She seemed happy. (Keyword is seemed.)
I had the sudden urge to be a photographer, so I decided to get a job at the local skate park. I was planning on saving up for a Canon camera. I almost fainted on my first day because I had so many anxiety attacks. (You see, I'm petrified of tsunamis, and the skate park is right on the Durban beachfront. My brain kept tricking me into thinking I was going to be another victim of a tsunami. Hence me panicking.) I had survived my first day! I was so relieved that I wasn't consumed by a giant wall of water! First pay was R250.00. I never got to see that money. Mom took it to buy wine and cigarettes, she said that I need to contribute to the household now that I'm making money. Being 15 years old, I didn't question it. Mom knows best.
I met my real father a year later. I was overjoyed to hear that I have 2 sisters, one was 5 years older than me and the other had just turned 3. I met Chelsey, she's my older sister. My life changed that evening. Chelsey had invited me to go watch a concert that her friends were playing at. I thought she was kidding, I mean, who wants their little sister hanging around when you're with your friends? We went out to my first metal concert that night! I had so much fun, I learnt what a mosh pit was. I had also met Chelsey's boyfriend, Alex. He's a cool guy.
I learned that Chelsey stayed with her boyfriend and his house was literally less than 3 km's from my house! how cool?
I would hang out with Chelsey every chance I got, she was so cool! Definitely someone I looked up to. She would question why I would always give my mom my work money when I was 'saving' up for a camera. I would just look down in shame and change the conversation. I was 16 now, I had everything I could ask for, except a stable mom. Dad was non-existent after I had met him, yet another disappointment. But! I had a sister and I had friends. I guess you could say I was happy.
I'm going to stop right there, I have to get back to work and make myself some more coffee. I shall continue my story tomorrow. I hope I haven't bored you to death! I promise my life gets a lot more interesting from here.
xxx
