“Man is the social animal,” they say. Well, I don’t say that man is an animal. However, an individual human and society are bind to each other in a way that they cannot be separated.
Even before we open our eyes in this world, we start experiencing the effect of our relationships on us. The things happening in our surroundings start forming our memories. What our mothers go through physically and emotionally makes an impact on us.
In other words, relationships with other human beings are so vital to our lives that we are not free of their effects even when we are hidden in our mothers' womb.
When we finally enter this world, we come across several experiences via the humans present in our surroundings. Their actions, attitudes and emotions make an immense impact on our own emotions and well being.
For instance if a few-months-old kid experiences more smiley faces, cheering voices and encouraging attitudes he displays more positive behaviours. On the other hand, he receives discouragement and frowns more, he develops problematic behaviours. It demonstrates the significance of people in our lives.
As we grow older, more people add to our lives. More relationships are build: friends, peers, cousins, teachers, colleagues, lovers and more. All of the relationships have their own importance.
Sometimes, we accompany with people who facilitate our growth. At other times, we get in touch with people who are venomous. They spread poison in our lives one way or the other. Their toxicity snatches the piece of mind and creates discomfort.
I am not among those people who form and develop relationships quickly. I have been very selective in deciding about the friends in my life. I hate unnecessary arguments and passive aggressive kind of behaviour.
It is said the more fights are the sign of more love. I strongly disagree. Love doesn’t needs fight for proving its strength. Instead, love makes us respect understand and being compassionate. I seriously dislike the relationship where there is fight every now and then.
I don’t know if this kind of attitude is common in other cultures yet I have found it quite common in my society. When people are in conflict with other people, they wants their other acquaintances also to be angry with them.
They are like, “Either be with me or with that person.” While you have no reason to be at bad terms with any of the two parties, you are forced to create a conflict. This kind of situation is quite troublesome.
When I was a kid, I was had no friends in my neighbourhood. The environment wasn’t safe, so my mom didn’t allow us to build friendships in that surrounding.
When I was 13, we shifted to a new building of flats. The environment there was safe and secure. I used to see some girls of my age in the courtyard playing badminton.
I started going to the courtyard in the evening and became friend with them. I enjoyed chatters and play, but for a very short time.
Soon, I started feeling the toxicity. They used to mock at and backbite the absent member. Sometimes, they would taunt even on the face.
I also realized that there was a need to be extra conscious with them. Something said with good intention was easily taken as negative and then there was a game of passive aggression, arguments and clarifications. Huuuuuuuh! Not my type of people. Not my type of friendship.
One day it happened that I went to a friend’s house (at 1st floor). She was not at home. I went to another’s house (at 5th floor). We started talking sitting in the outer gallery.
After a while, the first friend came back. She called to me from below. The one with whom I was sitting told me to refuse at once. It made me nervous how I should respond. I didn’t want to mess up with anyone.
Any how I managed to tell her that I would come after a while. After she went back to her home, the other one started telling me how bad she was and I should not befriend with her. Bla bla.
The other day when I met the first girl she also had the similar kind of conversation. I felt exhausted. I understood they neither had respect for each other, nor for me.
I didn’t have time to waste on meaningless thing. I didn’t have energy to waste in fights and arguments, and be emotionally drained.
Consequently, I decided to stay away from those people. I stopped going to the courtyard anymore. I didn’t want toxicity. I didn’t want any headache.
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This is my participation for Hive Learners Featured contest.
