Being mad at the system, especially with all that you're dealing with, is an understandable response.

I saw a quote that says "It's more important to choose than to choose right. Uncertainty is a signpost of possibility." I LOVE that you're choosing to focus on your own fiction, despite the financial risks involved. Your writing is brilliant and what you bring to the world is unique and sincere. Who knows what this year will bring? I'm going to be there for you, no matter what happens.