You're not given options in prison. You are subject to whatever it is that is – you know, the circumstances you're in. And I find myself having a hard time making certain choices.
Like, I mean, the simplest things – what are we going to have for lunch? And I'm defaulting to, like, whatever anyone else wants. I was like, oh, that sounds great. You know, like, I've lost the opinionated mindset of, oh, I want this or I want – no, it's really just – I'm defaulting because I've almost, in a weird way, forgotten how to make those choices.
And I'm speaking this as somebody who was in prison for 84 days. Now, imagine people who served prison for extended amounts of times. And I used to hear all those stories of people saying, you know, oh, it's hard to adjust.
I believe them now. It is very difficult to adjust. It is very challenging to reintegrate yourself because of the conditions in which you're kept.
So mentally, I'm – you know, I was abruptly taken off Adderall. I've been taking Vyvanse for my ADD since I'm 15 years old. I'm 37.
And I was – it was like a cold turkey, like, nope, you're done. And on that front, it's really bad. And then to replace the fact of me having Adderall, they substituted it with an antidepressant and an anti-anxiety pill, which then doesn't really help because they're creating other issues psychologically.
So I'm trying to get back with my mental health in order, you know, because I've always been very outspoken of my own journey in that case. And I just wanted to make sure that, you know, I can be in the right spot, right mindset. So it's an adjustment.
