It feels like May, today I asked why acacia tree didn't leaf out yet!?
Probably cause its early, too early, and almost everything is awakening, everyone are crawling out. We are strolling trough all the places about which we have future plans.
At some moments I'm still questioning myself am I doing a right thing!? Like this whole homestead story, planting a garden, a slower life...different way of something I lived till recently, each time I was on the streets - rush, fast heart beats, annoying, suffocating air, traffic speed everywhere and always.
Car sirens, I don't really miss that morning routine. People who live in big cities are the first to experience burnout. The noise of dozens of sirens screaming alternately does know to shake up anxiety in you. I barely hear them now, somehow I still expect it to suddenly burst from somewhere.
It's mental relief, even tho I still have moments of rushing myself without any need. One way to describe living silence in my case. Noise I was listening while framing all of these photos was created by various species of birds, if you put just a bit more of attention into listening it, you will hear how they communicate, talk with each other. Different chirp, intonation.
I manage to capture small movements around me, I watched as many plants sprouted. Early spring days. I peek into the blooming grass before the trimmer has cut it yet, not fan of the noise it's making. Staring at the blossomed dead nettle, partly cause sun rays are warming my back up, partly cause I never gave this plant more attention. Velvet sophisticated purple juicy petals, unlike basic nettle - calls for cuddles.
I'm having more time for learning and exploring.
Often waves of inspiration hits me, it would be too much to say that I can feel freedom, but maybe an apparent one. It's easier to handle anger.
Go dig something for half an hour and you are coming back like a new, for sure calmer for further problem solving.
More time to think and less chances for jumping to conclusions.
Uncertainty, will it bear fruit?
If yes, we will enjoy it.
If not, we'll try again next year, without big disappointment.
I don't see this apricot giving up, even although this is the third year in a row without many fruits, and sometimes none.
Be careful what you wish for - second part, I remembered their mild smell recently. Found them sunbathing on the canal slopes. Picked just one, as kid I knew to pick bunch of them, make a bouquet and that was moms eight march gift. It's been ages...
Around noon, the smell of the first blooming plums fills the air. Withered landscapes are slowly coming back to life, and I have the honor to observe all this, quietly. I'm bursting the bubble of my comfort zone, which is packed in bubble within a bubble within a bubble. Every time it's calmer, more self-confident, without regrets. I'm drawing the future kitchen in my head, every time I enter the room that now serves us to germinate seeds. When I look at the interior, count all the repairs, it seems so far away. But the idea is felt under the fingers, it already has a smell and a texture. A combination of brick, walled, with a cherry wood island and a marble work surface that I already have.
