The bride came to her mother-in-law and the mother-in-law says:
I have a custom for you, so if you will accept it, great, and if you don't, nobody cares! I get up in the morning, first I cook and drink coffee, then I wash and comb my hair. If I put a flower behind my right ear,
I'm in a good mood, and if I put it behind my left ear, get out of my way!
Well, now the bride says to her:
I also have a custom, so if you will accept it, great, and if you don't, nothing to anyone! First thing in the morning, I wash my face, then comb my hair. Then I drink one brandy, then another, then a third... And then, I don't care which side you put the flower on!
This was one of the jokes from our area, due to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
I don't know why it's been running around in my head all morning, but I thank it for that, as it somewhat inspired today's post. There is nothing similar to this in my relationship with my mother-in-law, but it is what is customary in our area.
That the mother-in-law replaces the mother, after the bride gets married. I know, I know how it sounds to most of you, although we are on the good way to ending that custom, it is still very present. I just received this bouquet of hyacinths from my yesterday, to put them in the room. But already this morning I fell in love with the perfect soft sweet scent that greeted me in the kitchen. I have deep respect for my partner's mother, but I could never call her a mother, which is otherwise insisted upon.
There is only one mother, and it will remain so. While, for example, my mother, called my father's mother "mother" - not approved by me. Our relationship is based on mutual respect and understanding, as a woman to a woman. She is always there to jump into the kitchen when needed (otherwise she cooks great), to give me advice or to share with me the knowledge she has. In many ways, she reminds me of my mom (crazy, but they are the same zodiac sign), they have a similar sensibility and dedication to the family, both are fighters.
What unites the two of us is the understanding of separation from family. She spent a good part of her life miles away from her brothers and sisters, as well as from her mother, I am at a slightly lower mileage, but missing is missing, kilometers are not so important. Unlike all the previous boyfriends I've had, their moms still tried to exert that kind of authority over me, and it was so uncomfortable, almost palpable in the air and highly annoying.
While she minds her own business and doesn't get involved in our agreements, disagreements and plans. What more could I wish for? Let me add that I often agree with her more than my partner. If I were to say all this to someone from my environment, they would most likely accuse me of lying or try their best to find any dirt in our relationship - sorry, in vain. Actually, I don't even know why the mother-in-law's opinion is still a parameter for the daughter-in-law, whether she is good or bad, it's so ridiculous.
Once, during a conversation, I mentioned how I would collect flower seedlings wherever I found them, and she already got me three varieties in less than a week.
And those are just the little things which I appreciate immensely, same things that my mom would have done for me.
Look, they bloomed!
