This post is a response inspired by the Worldbuilding community prompts on drugs over the last few days, especially #272 on the drug trade.
"Pssst, Wanna buy something fun ?" the voice hissed from the shadows. It came from a short, scruffy man lurking in a doorway.
He really did look like the archetype of a ne'er-do-well, with a tatty royal blue waistcoat over a shirt which might once have been white but which was so grubby that the stains had merged to make it a kind of earthy brown colour. It was unclear if he cultivated the appearance deliberately, or was such a down-and-out that this is what he was.
The passer-by looked at him, taking the measure of the man. Clearly no threat.
"I've got the best stuff, Sir. Avassari Green. The finest gignak in the world. Fresh off a boat from Tiraz, only five gold Dukes for a handful."
The passer-by turned to find out more, speaking in a cold voice. "Show me."
The oik reached into a pocket and pulled out a handful of his wares, a dozen dark green leaves clustered into a crumpled green bud. They gave of a very slight herbal aroma, sweet but with a hint of underlying sharpness,although almost overwhelmed by the stench of this part of Milmar and the seller himself.
The passer-by looked at the man with exasperation. "For fucks sake, Jebbo, you're the worst dealer in this whole damn city. You lurk in a doorway, selling this shit..."
"There's no law against it !" Jebbo interrupted him.
"That's right. We're in Milmar. It's famous for having no laws, the only place where you can sell drugs like this without being taken in by the local law. But that isn't what I was going to say before you interrupted me so rudely. What I WAS going to say is that you are an utter idiot for lurking in this particular doorway. You work for Demos Drathgold now, remember ? Ever since that incident when you tried to rip off that big sailor who chopped off your little fingers."
The passer-by looked around, to see if anyone was watching.
"But do you try to sell drugs in Demos's territory ? No, you have to go back to your old haunts, like the idiot you are. This is Isfar the Sarassid's turf. You don't work for him any more, and if he finds you here you'll lose a lot more than a couple of fingers."
Jebbo looked at his feet, scuffing one of them in the dust like a small boy being torn off a strip by the headmaster.
"Oh, and another thing," said the passer-by, "That shit you're selling hasn't been within a thousand miles of Avassar. You're right that Avassari Green is the best stuff on Argull. But I'll be damned if I'm going to give you five gold for a handful of bay leaves tied up with cotton. You're the crappiest zwilnik ever. Here's a silver, go back to the Apple Barrel and get drunk before you get yourself in trouble."
Image by John Miller from Pixabay
DM's note: Jebbo was an NPC who was supposed to be a key contact for the players in the port of Milmar. But they captured him and persuaded him to come and work for their sponsor. In the process, he ended up becoming a total comic relief character, being called "Jebbo the Crap Zwilnik" because he was literally the most incompetent drug dealer possible.
"Zwilnik" is a term coined by EE "Doc" Smith in the Lensman series of books for drug traffickers, and is such an awesome word I just had to steal it ! Gignak is a term used for smokable herbal substances in a D&D group I played with many, many years ago, and I've carried it over into my homebrew world.