I painted this roebuck after hitting one with my car in May this year.
I was in shock and after I hit the poor animal (hitting the brakes too hard wasn't possible, because behind me was another car) I wanted to stop and park by the side of the road. Only at this part of the road there was high grass and I couldn't see there was a ditch of almost a meter right there. Suddenly my right front tire gave way and my whole car was standing askew:
Unfortunately the roebuck died, and my car was almost damaged beyond repair (it's pretty old already).
I felt so sorry for the animal and I got pretty scared of driving at that time of the day (twilight), when around here lots of deer is traversing streets at the countryside.
Painting is my way of processing feelings and what happened to me. It helped as I saw this painting as a kind of apology and goodbye to the deer. Since then I am driving slowlier (although I wasn't too fast) and even more careful. Unfortunately I still feel some anxiety before driving on certain roads at certain times of the day. But it doesn't inhibit me.
If I let myself I can still feel deep empathy with this animal.
This accident taught me, that it is OK - no, that it's even important to consciously feel the emotions, also the uncomfortable ones. Once I go through that pain, I discover and accept myself ever more.
Maybe someone has made a similar experience? I'd love to hear about it!
As I made this painting digitally, there are no photos of the steps, but here's a screenshot with one of the layers turned off:
A place to show your skills
