The post isn't about the video.
I have had so many horrible, and I say horrible old memories coming back. They seem to be rushing me like a flood. I don't know, maybe it's from the "Two broke to eat properly in between payday" diet, or what. But geez this needs to stop.
This video/song has been helping my mind. I mean, I have been talking to a close friend. ... a lot. But this video. I mean my goodness, the voices in your head. The monster you're running from is the monster in you.
I keep hearing my mothers' voice tell me I am worthless. That she never wanted me. That she wished I was never born. People don't realize how fucking incredibly horrible my childhood was. How the only thing I learned from my parents, is who I NEVER EVER wanted to be.
But gees, these old thoughts, these old memories, good and bad- need to stop. Sometimes I wish the flashy thing on Men in Black was real.
If you knew my history, you'd understand.
