In the last post I promised to be back on the same subject with some question to assess your authenticity.
First, as reminder, Authenticity = Self-Awareness X Courage. So we will have 2 categories of questions, one that will help you evaluate how self aware you are and one for your courage.
source: pixabay
If we behave authentic when we are in a safe environment it means that there is at least one person knowing us quite well as we really are. With this person, we can share our deepest fears and needs without being afraid we are judged.
After you identify this person (persons) think how different are you with other people. A life lived at is full capacity requires at least 80% of the same behavior and feeling of acceptance with the rest of the world also. If you feel the need to wear masks every time we are not with those person knowing you maybe it's time to trust yourself and get rid of the mask.
What is that thing you are faking the most? How is this attitude affects you and how do you reconnect to your inner self after playing the role?
if your answer to this question is none, most probably you are not self aware. From time to time we all take different roles, most of them not to harm the ones around us or to please the social norms. Seeing this moments is important, understanding them and trying to reduce their impact at minimum.
Normally, an opinion someone has about me won't affect me if I don't believe, in my subconscious, that they are right.
So if a friend of mine tells me that I interrupt a lot and this makes me angry with him, he is probably right.
It's hard to be objective when we are thinking about our own behavior and this exercise is useful to see yourself from outside.
It becomes more useful when you ask real people knowing you to do this and then compare the result.
There are 3 dimensions to the reality:
Ideally, this 3 are aligned. If they are not it's our job to work on it and align the first with the third. The second is not in our power but will follow the other 2.
How hard was this? How difficult was the case and how did it ended? How did you felt about yourself when doing it?
I had for example some discussion with my mom regarding family and kids. We have different opinions but now, I don't fear talking about mine, without making her feel bad that are different than hers but in the same time without pampering her. We are both grown ups and can take a yes or a no without the pressure that we will hurt each other.
The perseverance can have 2 starting points. One is courage, the other is stubbornness (not in a smart way).
And if it was about courage how did you felt when you managed to complete it? Or when you did not? How was your courage level after?
This is related a little with point 2 but at a more general view. It's not about standing and defending your point of you. It's more about being able to see and point the issues and to give feedback (in a healthy way) without feeling bad. It's also about being trustful that you have the ability to transfer the good intentions behind the honesty as it is never about doing harm but helping others become better.
When you are in a group, are you the one believing that things can be better and taking action in this direction or the one complaining that things are going wrong but not bringing any ideas or solutions to solve it?
Courage is contagious and we can "use" others by surrounding ourselves with people showing courage in their everyday life to become more courageous ourselves.
In the end, the most important part, do not forget that authenticity needs both self-awareness and courage to exist.
