I never wanted to be a farmer. When I was a kid, my mantra was “farming ruins everything”. It was really hard work, and farming was always the priority. At least it felt that way.
I left the farm as soon as I could, and moved to the city. I was a hairstylist, and that’s where I met Jon.
(when we were city people)
One day Jon said to me, “I think I want to be a farmer.”
I was totally surprised. We were living in our brand new house in a brand new neighbourhood, and we were city people. But my reaction was even more surprising. (I’ll be the first person to admit that I can spazz out real quick, especially when caught off guard.)
When Jon said, “I think I want to be a farmer.” I felt...relieved. We sat on the couch that night and talked about how we might make this happen.
The next month was a blur. I’d love to write another post about all the divine interventions that happened during that time, but I’m not sure I can. At this time, all I can say is, the farm chose us.
We put our house up for sale, and 20 days later, it sold. We moved out exactly one year after we moved in. My spiritual experiences that happened in that house were very intense. I am a completely different person because of those experiences. Perhaps I couldn’t have handled this farm life without that jump into the spiritual deep end. I suppose there is a reason for everything.
(Jon proposed a week after we moved to the farm. He shovelled this heart in the snow.)
The farm we bought happens to be down the road from my parent’s farm. I used to drive past this place everyday on the school bus. It was a junk yard. The field was full of old cars, trucks, and busses. I remember their dogs chasing the truck when we drove by. I remember feeling embarrassed when I shuffled up to their door on Halloween in my figure skater costume. Who knew there was so much more beauty beyond this house that we couldn’t see. Now I know, and it feels like home.
(The old barn. It was beyond repair. We salvaged what we could and then burnt it down.)
I still don't understand how it happened. I’m almost uncomfortable saying that I’m a farmer. Because, until Jon said, “I think I want to be a farmer.” I REALLY didn't want to be a farmer. Now I’ve just said farmer four times in one paragraph.
So I’ll conclude with why I DO want to be a farmer.
When I look out the window I see land and trees, and it’s mine. I can walk out the door whenever I want, wearing whatever I want. I can create anything I dream of. I can yell as loud as I want. I can grow my own food, and raise my own animals. I can sit in a lawn chair and watch my kids play. I can work really hard and build anything. I get to do all of it with my husband. I get to try it again. I get a chance to look at it differently, and change how I feel. I get to be responsible for myself. I get to be free.
Farming doesn’t ruin everything. Farming is everything. Its emotionally hard. It’s physically hard. It’s mentally hard. It’s spiritually hard. It’s also emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually healing. It’s a life of service, and isn't that what life is all about?
For more, join us for a day-in-the-life, on YouTube. We did some gardening!
