Even if you're not nice, I'll spend my time figuring out why and probably forgiving you for it.

This is definitely a good koala-ty (ha - quality) to have, until it becomes obsessive which then can become damaging. I'm fairly sure that you're not obsessive about these things, but I bet there are times you fall into that cycle.

I think of the photograph of my man as a kid - the little boy at the window, the diffused light seeping through yellow curtains, waiting for Dad to come home, not fully understanding he'd left for another woman, and another family. No wonder my honey worries sometimes - the little boy in him sometimes thinks I might just disappear.

This brought me to tears. Responding to this is even difficult. My father did something similar - he was engaged to another woman when he impregnated my mother. He married my mother instead, but left us many times throughout the years, beginning when I was only a few months old, to eventually finally divorce my mother to be with the woman he was originally engaged to. I have severe trust issues, and its definitely deeply tied to this treatment. I'm glad that you are able to have some clear perspective with what he goes through, because that type of upbringing is particularly damaging for young men.

You are such a gentle soul.. I am so grateful to have you as a friend.

So I practice trust. There's a lot of vulnerability involved in that, and a lot of fear, but it does let the light in.

The vulnerability is extremely difficult, but definitely allows for healing - agreed. It can just be so hard to be able to find people to be vulnerable with though.. I am glad that I am in the university that I am, because I am connecting with people I can be vulnerable with there for sure.

Great post, hun - thank you! <3