This guy in this restaurant was eating in peace. A fine lady walks in, looks around and goes to sit on his table. I felt bad. Hian, beht I fine pass am nau, plus he is eating ordinary eba and ogbono while I dey use fork and knife demolish chicken and rice. Which kain Abuja girl be dis? Na bush dem troway you from?
Anyway, I shrugged it off and continued eating. The girl made an order and while waiting for the food she starts to talk to the guy. Chai, double painment for me. See fine girl with confidence. Dear Jesus, did you die for me or not? Talk true, Lord.
Anyway, I bone and resumed eating. I noticed the guy was practically ignoring her. Oghene doo! Fine, fresh girl dey follow you talk and you are busy cutting shaki and not even looking up. Guy, what's stronging you?
Fine girl with make up on fleek is practically giving you the lights. Green light. Blue feem light. Eyelash light. And you are answering with nods and with your mouth full of food. Guy, talk true, you be human being?
Sha wetin consign me? Shebi she see fine boy with correct table manners, cut face go follow one bush man? You think my God is not a God of judgement and ela?
She was looking around the restaurant like she wanted to make sure nobody was seeing the correct cold shoulder the bobo gave her. She looked my way, I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at her.
She ate in silence afterwards. Actually she didn't eat, she swallowed the food. I looked up like four minutes later and she was drinking water, spoon facedown on an empty plate. Ogini? Kwikwik?
Anyways, I watched her pay for her food and stand up to leave, that was when the guy she was hitting on earlier looked up sharply, held out his hand and started talking to her. I couldn't hear what he was saying but the guy seemed to be apologizing for earlier, his mannerisms were all polite.
Ogini?
The girl gave him one very dirty and disgusted look, picked her bag and walked away. The guy stared after her, shrugged and resumed demolishing the remnants of his food.
Suddenly it hit me and I burst into laughter.
The girl thought she could waltz in, turn up the charm, scatter his head with clear MTN signal and las las get him to pay for her food. But the yeye guy park the bus and defended till he saw her pay for her food then he now started looking at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world.
I finished my meal, paid and got up to go, as I passed him, he looked up and we exchanged looks. I nodded, he nodded back and we both shared a knowing smile.
2017 is not our year of strange loads.
