MUST BUY - This Chinese Liquor is the absolute worst ... and best

Any person who has plans on traveling to China absolutely must buy a bottle of this liquor, known as red star. When I say you should try this, I'm speaking from the same place as one would recommend one try Malort, but as terrible as Malort tastes, this drink is worse on the level of several magnitudes.

Malort is a spirit for which there are many delicious recipes, for Red Star the only way to consume is straight up in a shot as quickly as possible. I've tried mixing this poison with literally everything I could try - of particularly ill effect was orange soda. Mixing a shot of this mess with ice and a full glass of orange soda does nothing to subdue the flavor, rather all it accomplishes is to multiply the drudgery of consuming this drink, almost guaranteed to be at the compulsion of brethren surrounding you, imbibing the same awful fluid, quite likely without ruining it with feable mixers.

No trip to China is complete with at least one member of your crew doing cartwheels through the lobby of the hotel after having "enjoyed" a bottle of this crap. You have failed to do your duty to your homeland if you do not bring as many bottles as will fit in your suitcase back with you to torture your friends and family with this exotic spirit. Happy Travels!