It feels proud and humble to coin a term for a feeling that you were never aware of, existed; or to coin any new discovery, in general. A feeling might just be certain chemicals running through your body, reacting and changing form or energy, fundamentally speaking. But aren’t feelings and sensations our only available tools towards truth? These apart from the voice, the light that guides us, that sometimes doesn’t even feel like it belongs to us and it is being endowed upon us by someone external, something higher. I wonder! I wander!
The purpose of this post is not to wander in the realm of philosophy and sound ambiguous, in the end but to introduce a new concept, a theory or a feeling. Existential Orgasm is the term, I choose to use for it. What exactly is it? Well, it is a feeling of “this is it”, a point where your entire existence came to standstill to tell you that this moment completes it’s purpose of ever existing in this world, in this particular body. If you are reading this, I’d want you to make a halt, close your eyes, if you can and try to think of the moment that was so pure that it rejuvenates your entire existence. Go! close your eyes for few moments, I insist.
Do I have you here, now? Are you back? What did you think of? Was it your mother’s face or your lover’s embrace? Were you in an open field? Or was it just the darkness filled with silence, the thing that I observed and now I am writing a post about. But unlike the scary darkness, this darkness was complete and void of everything that our existence has grownup, chasing; there was no hope, aspiration, future, past, even present, no efforts, nothing. It was like a giant black hole that absorbed everything that is not life, absorbing every neon light that we use to illuminate our life with. Yet it was not disturbing, only peaceful. Non-existing (dying) never felt this good, such peaceful deaths (though we rarely experience such moments) are far better than pretentious-attention-seeking attempts for suicide, or suicide itself. It is about being blissful about your own inexistence. And I achieved it in the silence of my lover.