We all experience loss differently. You haven't lost him. The best parts of him, those vivid memories, are with you. He's with you.

I think I'm more morbid. The ones I've lost are with me like an ache. I can't tell people because it's time to move on, but these are like shadows in my life. Truly a loss. My mother, my brother, my sister. I'm not depressed, although it sounds like that, but I'll never be happy without restraint again.

A cousin told me when I was a little bit of a child that I was far too serious. I think that may be true :))