Hello,
I read this with great interest, since I once had an acute attack of pancreatitis. Besides experiencing some memorable pain, my most vivid recollection of that time is the incompetence of the physician who attended me as an emergency admit in the hospital.

I don't drink. Back then, maybe I had a light beer once or twice a month. However I do have an autoimmune disease. Instead of considering the latter as a possible diagnosis, the doctor went straight to alcoholism. He mimed someone drinking deeply from a bottle and smiled broadly at me. The obvious suggestion was my habit of drink.

It took me about an hour to sign out of that hospital, against medical advice. My acute symptoms had abated. All I wanted to do was get to a proper doctor/hospital. This turned out to be a very good decision.

Follow up visit with an excellent gastroenterologist confirmed the pancreatitis diagnosis (I had a CT scan and lab reports). There was never a definitive diagnosis. It was all hindsight at that point. However, as time passed and the character of my autoimmune disease became more clear, this was the obvious culprit.

The way going forward? Low fat diet. Conservative consumption of food. Keep the autoimmune disease quiet.

Just thought I'd add one case history to this very well-written, and even entertaining write-up. Thank you for that!