Of course I'm right. I've examined my motives. Double checked my sources. Traced my thought process. I can stomp my foot and assert with confidence that I am right. But how do I really know that unless I subject my opinion to another perspective?

It's hard to move from such a place of certainty. There's comfort in having our positions affirmed by people of like minds. But we prove nothing by doing that.

We can be two stone walls facing each other, unless we open our minds and listen. However, what I've learned is it's better for me to write out my position than to engage in oral discussion. Writing it out has one great advantage: I get to see the flaws in my own logic. When it's on paper I often can see the folly of my position.

There is another advantage. The discussion is less emotional. It takes time to think something through and be able to write it down. I can look at the argument of the other person and calmly assess the merits of that argument. Often at least some of what that person suggests makes sense. Or at least, as you suggest, I understand their position better even if I don't agree with it.

The challenge with writing out an argument is that most people don't have the patience to do it. They enjoy the comfort of their certainty, or they crave the adrenaline that comes from an antagonistic exchange.