Hello my friend, @jayna,

Thank you for sharing all of that with me. I've been upset. Of course it's because I fear for the country. I think the worst part for me, though, is that people voted for him. They know him. He's not shy. He comes right out and says all those horrible things, and people accept it.

I didn't refer to autocrats in the past when I wrote this, because I wanted to keep this anchored in fact. How could his supporters respond? He didn't lie about COVID? He didn't laugh about Pelosi's husband? He didn't admit to sexual assault? He didn't say he wanted to tear up parts of the Constitution?

His supporters know these things, and it's OK with them. That is what is upsetting to me.

Years ago I worked in a warehouse from time to time. One of the delivery men was disabled. He limped and had an issue with speech. Danny. That was his name. The other drivers would stand around and mock him. Those are the people who elected Trump.

He gives them permission to be cruel. He allows them to say and feel things that they have to suppress ordinarily. He gives them a sense of freedom and power.

There are those who like his tax policies, and those who like his tariff policies, etc. But people at his rallies aren't thinking of that. They are cheering on the brute. The more brutish he acts, the more excited they get. It reminds me of Ann Jackson's The Lottery. There's a headiness in being part of an impassioned group (mob), a freedom, a primitiveness that ordinarily is forbidden.

I can't watch the news. Every now and then I read a headline so I can keep track of the broad outlines of what's coming. It's sickening. Don't know what to do about it. I think of people in the past, trapped by a government that's gone sideways.

We may need courage, but courage doesn't always help. Do I have that courage? I don't know.

It really helps to read the words of someone who is dismayed by what has happened. 50.2 percent of the electorate voted for him. That means 49.8 of the people did not. There is hope in that number.

I don't think I can listen to Maddow, or anyone else talking about what has happened. Writing my blog was one way of dealing with my emotions. As time passes these may be less raw and I may find other ways to help my country. People to support, organizations to support, someone, something that has potential to affect what is happening.