This is an interesting post for me to read. I guess you can say I was Lily once. The difference is that my father was the cliché. It is hard for you to have to live against type, but as you say, the type does exist.

I wasn't going to write a Father's Day post, and then I read this.

My mother never said a word against my father, but as azircon said, kids grow up. Kids are silent witnesses. And not just witnesses, but also targets.

I recently read an obituary for my father and felt resentment, because he got away with the charade. Or maybe obituaries don't tell the truth. He caused great harm, and great neglect. There was rage, violence, conspicuous philandering (that he brought into our home).

It's hard for those of us who are the children of violent, neglectful fathers to come to terms with their outward respectability.

You can comfort yourself that one day Lily will judge you by what she sees and what you do. Soon enough she will be an adult and she will have many years ahead where you and she can have a loving father/daughter relationship. Doesn't matter what other people think. All that matters is what you and Lily do for the rest of your lives.

Never give up. She will remember and treasure that.