win, every moment of hesitation reflects
something deeper inside me, I know I need to
Grow here, not just to make money, but to
master the craft, to prove to myself that I can
turn skill into consistency. Growth in trading
feels like growth in life - slow, hard, and often
unforgiving.
But I don't want growth to stop at trading. I
want to sharpen every part of myself. I want to
be smarter, calmer, more aware. imagine
version of myself who doesn't just survive the
chaos of the markets or the unpredictability of
people, but who thrives no matter what comes,
That version feels distant sometimes, but I know
every step I take pulls me closer. Still, the climb
is long, and On some days wonder if I'll ever
reach the point where I feel "enough."
Relationships are another part of my struggle. I sometimes want connection, but it isn't easy to let someone else into my space. Sometimes I meet people who are really genuine, sometimes not. I find myself holding back, cautious, maybe even guarded. It's not that I don't want closeness I do, but trust is something I can't hand over lightly. There's this pull between wanting someone who understands me and protecting the peace I've built for myself, And if I'm being honest, I don't always know which side wins.
That might be why I crave solitude, Not the comfortable kind, but the disquieting kind the kind that makes me sit with myself, even when it feels uncomfortable, In those moments of silence, when I shut the world out and it's just me, I can hear the truth of where I'm at. Sometimes it's messy, sometimes it's clear, but it's always real, I need that space to think, to reset, and to remind myself of what matters, and at that point nobody else matters, nobody is special enough to matter.
Right now, my mind -feels like a restless mix of ambition, doubt, and hope. I want to grow as a trader, I want to grow as a person, and I want to figure out how to balance my desire for connection with my need for solitude. I don't have all the answers yet, but I think I'm learning to sit with the questions. Maybe that's the first step to becoming the person I keep imagining.
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Picture credit: Mine.
