He's used to praising me, I don't know, that's what I hear almost every day. And because my love language is words of affirmation, such words make me happy. That day also became the second time he held my hand after this far.
Physical touch wrapped in affection such as holding hands, embracing the shoulders, rubbing the head, and stroking the knees are some of the things I need. When I was in high school, I thought it would be very happy if your partner did and flooded you with affection. I need affection, not just about lust. I used to think, people who are in pairs will always hold back and only exchange affection, nothing more. So, when I have a partner, I want affection to be more dominant than lust itself.
Grief is like an intermediary between one happiness and another. Starting from an accidental story, the drama of eating satay, to pretending to have a drive-by you, to other unexpected circumstances that came in succession. I was thinking, what would have made me able to get to his house if for no reason?
"Would you like to come to our occasion? Meet with the big family as well."
I fell silent. I asked when it would be, but what came to my mind was, "Why so sudden? I haven't bought a new dress, I haven't bought a new sandal. I don't have the proper look to meet your family yet."
I'll admit, there's no feeling of nervousness at all. I'm getting used to meeting new people. It's no longer the same as before, who was too shy, to have to pretend not to know. This time I was more prepared, reading Instagram posts and Tiktok videos about "What to do when meeting my mom in-laws?" So I'm sure I won't be too clumsy or nervous. Just one thing: I still have no idea what kind of conversation I'm going to bring when I meet his mother.
Ever since he announced his intention to reunite me with his family, I was ready. However, I continued to complain, "What should I wear?"
"Just wear what you have."
Case closed. I immediately unpacked the contents of the closet and tried to find my many clothes but were not suitable for use at the invitation event. After all, I want to look my best in front of his family.
The best things is... feeling accepted.
When you are around new people who are strangers to you, the first feeling that arises is of course the desire to be accepted. And this situation came to me after so many months of being by his side, knowing his family, and this time meeting directly the mother who gave birth to him, making him a good man who brought me to be good too.
I felt I was in the right place when that day came. Complicated thoughts began to unravel and become one by one the answers to the questions in the head.
There's nothing to worry about, even if it's just a little. You just need to adapt and start fixing yourself from the start. Because it's your thoughts that make you more complicated.
The date is about riding together and look at the beautiful sky.
The evening sky was purple, the roads were jammed, and the warm wind blew against our helmets. Once his hand drops on my knee, patting it lightly while boasting of his beloved Depok City, I just laugh and feel grateful that the afternoon I spent with him in such a good condition and the sky is really beautiful.
"I'm grateful to have met you. There must be many more beautiful ones out there. But maybe, you are the answer to my prayers all this time," he said.
Cliche. Cheesy. And like the dialog of soap operas. But he speaks not only in words, but also in actions. That's what finally made me believe, even though it's a bit unclear because no one has ever spoken to me like that. He is the first and hopefully the only one in my life.
We will continue to talk about many things. We will continue to plan a lot of things. The days ahead, the long times in our lives are still a mystery, but it's okay to always try our best. It's okay to always love each other, love each other, support each other, be open to each other, and understand each other's weaknesses.
We will continue to strive and pray for everything we need. We will continue to ask for the ease to God for this life.
Hi! I'm Tiwi. - Welcome to my daily journal! My writing is all about life, travelling, books, food, or something in my mind. Enjoy!
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