So many times I wonder and kept wondering, is it that bad?
Is it not okay enough to love and show care?Does it actually feel choking when you care too much or does it make sense when you're taken for granted for loving and caring for someone.
When I talk about loving someone, it doesn't necessarily have to be romantically so that I can change that mindset before we go further in this article.
Over the years, I have family members and friends either close or distant, that have really made me realize over and over again that loving yourself first is the main thing and the most priority.
It hurts when you see that the one you love and care for doesn't care much about you or feel you're less important. Just like the slang for last year "dey for who dey for you" (meaning be there for who is always there for you), it shows that it's actually not a crime to love and be loved back, show care and be cared for. It's not like one is expecting what was done back or feeling entitled but it just feels great when love is reciprocal not respect alone.
After some other experiences even up to last year, I decided that I have to put myself first in everything and ensure to love myself first. Just like one of the series from my writing challenge on web2 platforms, where I wrote on self-love and below is a snippet:
When you know your worth, your love becomes healthier and saying “no” doesn’t mean you’ve fallen out of love.
The decision isn't something easy for me cos I feel like I learnt to realize this late though not too late but also in a hard way which took me a while to comprehend. I also realize I have to learn to do this cos it seems I got lost in this act already.
Am I trying to hype myself? No. I'm just trying to paint out this bad act that I thought was actually a good one.
Sometime last week, I met a friend and during our conversation, he asked me the greatest advice I have ever been given which I thought about deeply and I remember the day my sister told me this "aunty mih Kehinde, love yourself first" and I told him this.
Funny enough he asked me again; "and are you doing that?" And lo and behold, thinking about it deeply, I know I'm still struggling to, which I think is so bad.
The main point for improvement is I do realize that I have a problem which didn't just arrive overnight, so working out the solution will be easier than not acknowledging you have a problem.
Just like a sick person who doesn't admit that he or she is sick, it will be hard for such person to receive treatment of any kind from anyone.
In conclusion, loving and caring for people is not bad. Infact it's the best feeling one can ever have but then loving oneself first should be the utmost priority while every other person follows. This isn't an act of being selfish or self-centered but it is a way of showing that we're worthy of that same love we share with others.
I'll be dropping my 🖊️ here on the Hive Learners community prompt
Thanks for reading through 🤗
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