A proverb in my tribe makes me understand how humans are created and our nature that we must align with to have peace which is "ajeji owo kan o gberu dori", meaning that a hand can't simply carry a load from the ground to the head alone. There must be a support from the other hand no matter how little the effort or strength is needed.
With this, it is understandable that we all need ourselves to scale through in this world and there is actually no one either rich or poor, young or old, male or female who do not need the help or services of another.
But it becomes questionable when your visibility occurs only when you are needed to do or sort something and then the question keeps coming to your head and mind, am I even been loved or cared for at all or just been used and taken for granted?
I had a friend from my previous workplace and because of the role she took in the whole process in ensuring that I was not cheated and overpowered or override by a toxic and power-intoxicated boss plus the effect it had on her, I vowed never to lose her for anything whatsoever but in the cause of my observation after a few months, I noticed she only calls or respond to my messages whenever she needed to lend an urgent money to sort something which I always ensure that I sort for her and she definitely refunds on the actual date promised but strangely, that will be the last conversation till she needs another urgent help no matter how many messages I dropped in her DM to check up on her.
I know almost everyone is going through a hard phase of life currently and it might not be a necessity for everyone to check up on people or respond to their check-up but it becomes questionable when you remember them only when their help is needed. Like am I really been seen as a friend because I'm not receiving same energy.
As long as the proverb from the first paragraph comes to mind, I realize that some situations can warrant that people act that way due to our nature as humans which may not be right but then, it doesn't drag me down to seek or beg for attention, care and love which is supposed to be intentional. I will provide the help to you if it's in my care and still love you for who you are and not seeing myself as being used just like my twin sister's baby would mostly stick to me for a long time if I have her favourite biscuit or her mum is not around, lol.
In conclusion, the day we all make it our watchword that humans will always be humans then we would find it easy to put bad habits on our shoulders to shake it off rather than placing it on our heads and affecting us mentally. It doesn't mean we won't talk about it or make us feel bad but it won't get to us in a way that it affects our lifestyles.
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