Everything is not different you have to make your own choices in life as you know I'm not very good at that I have been there yes you feel great when that happens there's a feeling of acceptance you should feel something wonderful but it doesn't make anything different okay we all go through this and it's something in our life and we just let be and be yourself and that's what you're doingI got offended in case you said it depends and that's what I got angry about I am so sorry for your friend and I'm so sorry for you