I have seen this day coming for some time. It’s exactly ten years since my mother passed away. In a hospice. I still can’t talk about it, maybe in another ten years there will be more to this story.
But back then, in short, I walked to the car, over the very green grass, the sun was shining and the birds chatting loudly. I was walking away from her body which was still in that house, and it felt very strange not to have her walking next to me anymore. We used to do everything together.
I thought to myself. ”Life is going to be so long now without her, what should I do with all this time?” It was a serious question. A few months earlier I had found poker and my next thought was. ”At least I can do that, then time really flies.”
Now ten years later, I can conclude, that poker has really helped me to be interested in something even through the worst of times. It's been a very reliable hobby. I think one of the cornerstones in life is to find things that one feels passionate about. It’s been good in that way.
My life has of course changed completely, ten years is a long time. I can’t write in words about the way I miss her, so I am just going to leave it at this little glimpse of a feeling.
I know others feel the same about their loved ones who is no longer with us. And if anyone is in the situation of losing somebody right now, you have my deepest sympathy.