I opened the door in the room, then I entered and opened the window of my room. Hoping, my husband will wake up when the sunlight comes in through the leaves and penetrates into the room through the window that I opened. I feel a coolness that hit my body, like the coolness last night when I made love with my husband.
I looked back, I saw my husband turned sideways position staring at me. But, he also hasn't opened his eyes yet. I know, he is very tired. But this morning he had to get up to get ready to go to work. I wake up every morning, prepare breakfast and clean the house before I leave to teach. I slowly shook his body so that he woke up, but he was still fast asleep. I looked down, and put my face in front of him. I spoke softly "Bi ... wake up. It is already morning. Umi has prepared breakfast. " I say wake him up. He opened his eyes and smiled at me. Then he kissed my forehead.
Because I knew my husband had opened his eyes, I also hoped he would wake up and go to the bathroom immediately. Therefore, I got out of bed and hurried to the dining table. When I turned to close the door, it turns out he hasn't moved from the bed either. I went back to him, kissed his cheek and spread the blanket that covered his sturdy body without a shirt. He smiled at me and I just shook my head while returning his smile.
"Really, you forgot noodles. If Abi has not been built like that. Certainly not awake yet. " He said teasing me. "Don't flirt, hurry and take a shower. Later later .. "I reminded.
My household has been running for two years. I really love and love my husband As he loved and loved me. We rarely fight or keep quiet for a long time. Because he is very mature, he feels a second fight, the same we will lose intimacy for a minute. Therefore, we always try to solve any problems that happen to us.
I work as a teacher at a vocational school, I teach Accounting subjects. I was also trusted by the school principal to fill out a curhatan program at the radio station at the school. Not infrequently, children are even more happy to confide in me than to confide in the school counselor at school. Because every time the children talk with me, surely I will provide a solution and for sure I will play a song that suits their conditions. The atmosphere of curhatan like this, which might make children comfortable with me. For matters that are more privacy, they will usually see me alone during empty hours, or during breaks.
One thing that makes me still feel depressed, restless and sad. The words of mother-in-law that always disturb my heart. Makes me uneasy and always thinking. "When is your wife pregnant? your marriage has been going on for two years, but she's not pregnant either. I heard that he was on the radio station where he taught. Get busy now. But you can still manage the house with your husband, right? ” asked my in-laws. I just quietly listen to their conversation in the living room. The drinks and cakes I prepared were neatly arranged on the tray. Just present. But it feels, my feet are heavy to step, when I hear mother's words.
"Children are entrusted by God, ma'am. Maybe we haven't got the mandate for a child to give. Ais and I have also tried. But Allah decides it. If we have not been trusted to have a child. What can we as humans do, ma'am? " My husband said. I felt a fresh breeze blowing in my heart. Cool. I know, my husband would understand and want to understand me. Not only mother. I as a wife also want and crave a child.
"Yes, ma'am. What Fauzan said was true. We just try. We help with prayer. Because God is decisive. Don't ever burden Ais and Fauzan. Because it will disturb their minds. " Said father soothe mother. "Soon, Fauzan will definitely have a child. We must be sure. Right, zan? " Dad patted Fauzan's back with a smile. Fauzan just smiled back.
I feel relieved. There are two angels who helped me from the demands of my mother who always cornered me. As if, it was caused by me. I also always try to get enough rest, trying not to think about my students' problems so I don't stress. I did it. Abi also tried. Ais please, ma'am. Don't corner Ais like that. Especially in front of my father and husband.
"I'm confused by mother's attitude, bi. All wives must want a child, including me. " I say with a slightly sullen face. "Never mind, don't think about what the mother said. We have to be sure, like father said. " My husband said to calm me down. "I'm not comfortable with mother, I'm like a wife .." my words were interrupted because my husband covered my mouth with the tip of his finger. Then he hugged me. "Abi is sure, mi. God will give us a child. Soon." I inched to tighten his arms. I feel comfortable, relieved.
"Yesterday, I met with Dimas." I say. "Where?" he asked. "In school." My answer. "She works as an announcer, replacing Maya's mother." I say explain. He suddenly let go of his hug to me.
Conflict with mother, unresolved. Now I am added to the conflict with my husband. The man I used to like, before I knew my husband, was present in my life. And worse, he worked as an announcer on the school radio station. And when my husband picked me up after filling the curhatan event, he saw Dimas was there. I see a pile of jealousy in his heart. When I got into the car, he didn't say a word. He did not look at me in the slightest, his gaze only fixed on the road ahead.
Arriving at home too, his attitude was still cold towards me. All my words are considered to be the wind that blows. I tried to ask, he just shut up and left me. I knew he was very jealous of me. Even before I married him, Dimas used to be on campus with me, he also showed his jealous attitude. But, why now I can not reduce his jealousy. I was very confused by his attitude towards me. We always talk about all the problems, why now like this. 'What is wrong? What exactly happened, why is it like this? 'I asked in my heart with tears in my eyes, as I sat in front of the television.
This is the peak of my husband's anger. When I descended the stairs, accidentally, I got entangled in my robe. Until my feet are twisted. Dimas, who was behind me, tried to help me to stand up. "Are you alright, Ais? Be careful next time." He said reminded. His hands want to reach the body and want to hold my sprained leg. But I refused it. Because I know, Fauzan appeared from the bottom of the stairs.
I do not want to increase his jealousy towards me, and add to the problems in my household. With aching legs, Fauzan helped me walk down the stairs. And Dimas, he didn't say a word. Just be quiet when you see us leave.
Arriving at home, Fauzan's attitude grew colder. I see jealousy, and anger. I was increasingly afraid, trying to guess what would happen to me. When he got out of the car, he let me walk alone into the house. I could only stand still, walking alone, by enduring the pain in my leg joints.
That night, for some reason my legs became heavy. I put it on the chair. And apply oil by giving a little massage. My husband hasn't come out from the room either. Since the afternoon did not come out too. He slept in the room, tired or angry with me. I am very confused. Looks like he is angry.
"Bi, why do we have to stay like this, I can not stand the abi attitude towards me." I say heavily, between fear and endure tightness and tears already full in the eyelids. Want to pour profusely. I'm loyal to you bi, I can't betray you. I have never held any feelings for Dimas. I love only you, bi. My husband. " I said that was a little cut off because I felt pain in my throat, and took a deep breath.
"Don't leave me like this, bi. I can't afford this kind of treatment. Why don't we talk nicely. Why do you have to keep quiet by enduring pain. Who should I complain to? If not with you While you ignored me yourself. " Again, I stopped, because I had to swallow, and endure pain in my throat. Tears poured down profusely. I crawled on the bed and kissed my husband's forehead. I know his eyes are closed. But I know, not with his heart. "I love you, bi," I got out of bed and chose to sleep in a chair, in front of the television.
I don't want my sobs to interrupt his rest. He was very tired of working all day. I cried freely, sobbing. Shortness, piercing the solar plexus, my head feels dizzy. Legs ached, crawling all over my body. Nasal congestion, tears continue to flow unbearably.
I lay my body, slowly I lifted my sore leg. Hope, the cold night will not add to my sadness. Slowly I closed my eyes. Hoping, the drowsiness that struck me could make me fall asleep and forget about my goodness in goods.
The next day, I found myself sleeping on the bed. Maybe, last night Fauzan carried me to my room. For some reason, I feel his attitude will gradually improve again. "I don't like you being close to Dimas. You are now living with me. After all, why is he there? " he asked who did not look at me.
"Dimas works there, bi. He was on the radio station at the school where Umi taught. Umi heard, the principal received the proposal. " I explained. I get a little peace can talk with my husband. I hope this problem can be resolved. "Dimas applied, because he knew you were filling in the program there. So he can be close to you. Remembering your past. " His words are painful to hear.
"That's the past, and I never remember it again. I've been hurt enough. I'm married now, what else am I looking for bi? I have lived with you, my husband, someone I love very much. I want to be happy building my family. With you bi. " I say with tears in my eyes.
"Then, what about the shipment of roses that are always sent every day to our home? Is it possible from dimas? " he asked, who hadn't looked at me. He also moved from the dining table. Instantly tears flowed out of my eyes. I just shut up and let the tears come out. Wish I could feel relief, after I held it in. It feels tight, and it fills in the throat. Sick.
"I don't have any feelings for Dimas, bi." I say with tears coming down the cheeks. I can not stand the attitude. I love him so much. Why doesn't he believe it too. He left me, without greetings. And since this problem arose, even when leaving for work, he just said goodbye and left. There was no leg of soft kisses on my forehead.
"I miss you so much, bi ..." screamed my heart as he left, I just watched his back. Hope he comes back and hugs me.
I saw the calendar on the wall. One more week is my wedding anniversary. Right on Monday. "Will it still be like this, bi?" I asked myself.
This Monday, to coincide with my wedding anniversary. I deliberately went alone to pick up roses at the flower shop. Usually, store people will send it home. Well ... the flower that I thought was sent by Dimas to me. In fact, the flower is my order. Then I left it to the security guard, where Abi works. Then I told the security guard to give it to him. Bunga is a silent witness. Because he could not tell Abi, that he was not from Dimas.
Today is the happiest day. Since yesterday, I felt my body weak. Every time I swallow food, my stomach feels nauseous. Want to vomit. My face looks pale. Therefore, I decided to take time off from teaching. I also checked myself into the hospital. How happy, when the doctor said that I was pregnant.
I rushed to the office where Abi works. I want to give this good news. A rose in my left hand. My heart is flowering, because not only me and Abi are happy. But both my parents and my parents-in-law will be happy to hear this news.
Arriving across the street, I saw Abi was in the front yard. He walked with a purple box in his right hand. Because I was very happy, eager to approach him and hug him, and tell this good news.
I crossed the road without seeing a passing vehicle. I was so overcome with happiness that I ignored my life, even the fetus in my womb. A fetus that everyone is waiting for. Including my mother-in-law.
A hard object hit my left leg. Until my body bounced. I drooped limp on the road, hit my head. I didn't realize what was happening to me. I suddenly fell asleep. Feel no pain. The pain only felt when I lay on the road. My chest was tight, all my body seemed to be pricked because of pain due to impact. There is a hand that reaches into my body, supporting my lower neck. Put my body on his lap. He hugged me tight, he kissed my forehead. I felt the tears falling on my arm.
A purple box just dropped by my husband. Until the ring inside rolled somewhere. And a rose lay beside me. A ring my husband wants to give on our wedding anniversary. But unfortunately, now I've gone far away.
Maybe regret covered my husband's heart. Remembering his attitude yesterday towards me. However, I hope the word sorry will accompany my departure. So that I feel calm in my new life. I was very happy, because I could leave with a warm hug and kiss. Which I haven't gotten from him for several days.
Done
