Oh schooled, absolutely schooled, he'll not have liked that! Warn before writing the likes of this, when I'm swilling wine... Very nearly spat it on my sitting room floor!

He scratched at one of his mighty moobs, huge mounds of flesh that could have housed many Bulgarians.

Speaking of laughs, I was listening to a fella called Norm MacDonald on spotify today, American comedian, fucking gas.. Ya should check him out if you've never heard of him..