The day before I turned 18, I got a tattoo. I little one.
I told myself that it wasn’t an act of rebellion - I was too mature for that. Rather, it was a bookmark in time. And it was going to allow my future self to look back on my life and say, ‘When I got this tattoo, I wouldn’t have experienced xyz, I wouldn’t have known xyz’.
And maybe the little circle on my wrist did serve that purpose for a while. I acknowledged it at my valedictory service when leaving high school, a couple of times during university orientation and a few too many times as I cringed, still wearing last-night’s, now smudged makeup and persevering through a pretty potent headache.
Since then, I have intentionally changed a lot in my life and with this, the meaning of my tattoo has also shifted. In certain moments, it allows me to remember all that came with being 18 - the innocence, the optimism, the confusion, the excitement. But nowadays, its form is maybe a little more symbolic. You see, when I got it, the fact that it was a circle didn’t mean a hell of a lot. Although I would come up with what sounded like profound reasons why I had specifically chosen a circle, deep down I knew that, had it been any other geometric shape, nothing would have been different.
But due to it being linked to the concept of time, and that having changed for me, the role which my little tattoo plays in my life is now somewhat different. I suppose, it’s beginning was associated with linear time - having got it when high school and childhood were slowly slipping into my past and my future loomed in a buzz of apprehensive energy. Now, I can say that I am questioning the concept of time having to be linear. I don’t fully comprehend the alternative, but maybe this will develop slowly.
So, at this stage, the circle on my wrist is encouraging me to reflect on my positioning in time. And like the past, or whatever I may later consider it to be, I expect for its meaning to shift once again… Having just stated that all previous moments may not be entirely lost in time is still such a foreign concept for me. And maybe I am working through unnecessary thoughts, but only time will tell. I’d love to know your take on the subject.
