One thing I absolutely love and hate at the same time about me is how I fight for people I want. Girl, I wish I was fighting for the things I want rather. I mean the dreams, the goals and aspirations. You know? All the cool stuff a woman can get to achieve in life, not people.
I love that I can fight for the people I want in my life but I also hate it because it makes it hard for me to realize when I have to let go of those people. Most of my friends, actually who am I deceiving? My only friends in this world are just two people. I’ve known one since I was 6 and the other from my Uni days.( I absolutely love my online friends but I’m just talking about people I get to physically hangout with)
So I’m sure you are wondering what exactly I’m getting to. Hold on. Be there in a minute. Each year, either at the very end or early beginning, there’s this ritual I do. It’s basically allowing old friends back into my life. You know how sometimes you just want this person in your life knowing how bad everything could go wrong but you still do it because you just want to give your friendship another chance? (You don’t know? Come on, am I the only one who makes bad decisions in here?)
I do this every year. I text people, old friends. I reach out to them to catch up and see how we can actually be good people to each other in the future but it never works out. Sometimes, it even becomes chaotic the more I try. I’ve even had someone give me her terms and conditions for the friendship. Like if you want to us to be friends again, we’re going to do it like this and that. Tell you what. I was okay with all that until I wasn’t.
It took me years to realize that it was okay to have that spirit of fighting for people. But I didn’t have to though. It’s sometimes way better to not have certain people in your life. It’s not just better, it’s cooler, it’s more peaceful, and it gives you the opportunity to actually channel your energy into more productive things.
So in 2026, I let that woman go. I let that part of me always fighting so hard to bring people back into my life go. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even wish most people a happy new year because I know they were expecting me to “happy new year” them back into my life. But not anymore. It’s exhausting and I’m done.
I’m glad I didn’t learn this the hard way. I just got tired of the cycle. Friendship ends, you ghost each other for months, pick up from wherever you ended at the end or beginning of the year and then cycle begins. Meh. Then it’s better we stay as acquaintances and support each other from afar or maybe not. We can just exist in our personal spaces doing our own things with different people and that’s totally cool.
Images are mine
